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Yr3 child subject to unprovoked physical assaults in the classroom since year 2

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by beevoring, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. I wonder if you can provide any guidance. Since year 2 there have been issues with one particular child in my sons class who habitually physically attacks my child without provocation (as determined by the class teachers). This boy, we have been told, has anger-management issues and is unpredictable. i.e. there are no particular cues which eleicit this behaviour. Last year my son would come home and say 'he kicked me in the head, or he threw something at my head' as a parent I would overlook the allegations knowing that children can exaggerate, however, we were alerted to this boys behaviour to my son on a number of occasions when the violence made marks. The Head reassured us that interventions with the parents and punishments for the child were in place. Since moving up to year 3 we have had a number of incidents (grabbed by the neck, pulled to the floor and then kicked, whacked in the face leaving physical marks, pushed violently so my son fell and had a lump on his head. The teacher this year (thankfully) takes it upon herself to call after each incident and so we have now been to see the head 3 times about this assualt on our son in the past 6 weeks. The head teacher seems to think we should leave it to him to sort out however, to us the staying in at break, detentions are obviously not working as deterrent to such violent behaviour. My husband and i before our last meeting wrote to the head to ask if the boy could be moved to the other class as this behaviour could now just be habitual towards our son. the head in the meeting said because we told him to do it he wouldn't..i was extremely angry with this response as we have been very patient and let the school do as it sees fit for over a year. Can you please give me some idea of what i can do, and if I am being unreasonable and how to get my son the right of safe and nurturing classroom environment.
    sorry for such a long missive
    Thanks
     
  2. I wonder if you can provide any guidance. Since year 2 there have been issues with one particular child in my sons class who habitually physically attacks my child without provocation (as determined by the class teachers). This boy, we have been told, has anger-management issues and is unpredictable. i.e. there are no particular cues which eleicit this behaviour. Last year my son would come home and say 'he kicked me in the head, or he threw something at my head' as a parent I would overlook the allegations knowing that children can exaggerate, however, we were alerted to this boys behaviour to my son on a number of occasions when the violence made marks. The Head reassured us that interventions with the parents and punishments for the child were in place. Since moving up to year 3 we have had a number of incidents (grabbed by the neck, pulled to the floor and then kicked, whacked in the face leaving physical marks, pushed violently so my son fell and had a lump on his head. The teacher this year (thankfully) takes it upon herself to call after each incident and so we have now been to see the head 3 times about this assualt on our son in the past 6 weeks. The head teacher seems to think we should leave it to him to sort out however, to us the staying in at break, detentions are obviously not working as deterrent to such violent behaviour. My husband and i before our last meeting wrote to the head to ask if the boy could be moved to the other class as this behaviour could now just be habitual towards our son. the head in the meeting said because we told him to do it he wouldn't..i was extremely angry with this response as we have been very patient and let the school do as it sees fit for over a year. Can you please give me some idea of what i can do, and if I am being unreasonable and how to get my son the right of safe and nurturing classroom environment.
    sorry for such a long missive
    Thanks
     
  3. GordonNome

    GordonNome New commenter

    Shocking. One suggestion really, sorry it may not be so practical - move your son to another school.

    I certainly would be looking at that option as he won't be learning much apart from fear if this continues. Some parents of course would suggest that their child should stand up to the bully and hit him back - but that could go either way and would almost certainly see your son punished too.
     
  4. Does this boy attack those that fight back?

    Thought not.

    The only way to stop a bully is for someone to stand up to him. If your son's teachers are too weak, then he'll have to do it himself.
     
  5. It's come to something when teachers feel they have to give advice like that.
     
  6. That is an appalling attitude for a Head to display and I would be taking this to the Governing Body to challenge him. I wouldn't stand for it (as a parent). The Head should be, at this stage, issuing a FTE, offering parent support, a CAF or 1:1 sessions to the other boy. Has he put anything in place to "help" this child manage his anger?
    Detentions are all well and good but I would say that this Head needs to be more solution focussed as it doesn't sound like he is actually adressing the issues surrounding the unacceptable behaviour.
     
  7. I'm an ex-teacher.
    I'm also a parent and it's the advice I gave my children, as well as being the way I behave towards bullies.
     
  8. Tom_Bennett

    Tom_Bennett Occasional commenter

    The school has let you down. If I had a child that was being routinely assaulted in a state institution, and the the institution couldn't do anything about it...well, I would call that institution incompetent, and get as far away from it as possible. Write to the board of Governors, complaining in the most vocal manner. Demand that the bullying child be given special provision, external to the classroom community within which he is so destructive. Or failing that, remove your child from the school, because it sounds as if children aren't safe there. Our duty towards children must be, in the first instance, their physical safety. If a school cannot meet even that requirement then it is derelict in its duty. I would inform the LEA, the Governor's, and the DfE and Ofsted. Good luck Tom
     

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