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Your Best OFSTED Joke!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Yoda-, Nov 14, 2015.

  1. GLsghost

    GLsghost Star commenter

    This one?

     
  2. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

  3. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    SNAP!!!
     
    Yoda- and GLsghost like this.
  4. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    That's the one, thank you both! :):)
     
    GLsghost likes this.
  5. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Isn't Ofsted the party guest that keeps on giving? They're their own joke.
     
  6. Scintillant

    Scintillant Star commenter

    What has an IQ of 150?

    151 Ofsted inspectors


    You get better results using PE teachers as the subject though...
     
    monicabilongame likes this.
  7. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    Borrowed this one from the NHS staff about consultants.

    What is the difference between an OFSTED inspector and God?

    God knows he's not an OFSTED inspector.
     
    Yoda- likes this.
  8. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    Or this one from the music industry.
    An OFSTED inspector goes into a shop and asks for a book by a particular author. The man behind the counter says "Your an OFSTED inspector aren't you" The surprised OFSTED inspector says " Why yes, - How did you know?"
    The man says, "This is a fish and chip shop. The book shop is next door.".
     
    nomad, lanokia and Yoda- like this.
  9. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    Loved the Fascinating Aida song!!
     
  10. Yoda-

    Yoda- Lead commenter

    An OFSTED inspector, visiting a primary school in Yorkshire, sat down at a table of Year 5 children who had been grouped together because of their learning dfficulties.

    The inspector was eyed suspiciously by the group and then one of the lads spoke.

    "Can thee do long division?"
    "Yes," said the inspector.
    "Can thee do spelllings on t`board?"
    "Yes," said the inspector.
    "Can thee do joined up writing?"
    "Yes", said the inspector.
    "Then you`re on t`wrong table, mate!" said the lad.
     
  11. teachingking123

    teachingking123 Established commenter

    What is STED and out of date? OFSTED!
     
  12. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    Grrrrrrrrrrr

    There is a distinct need for a "Dislike" tab........ to be placed in any kind of category with Ofshit inspectors goes beyond the pale !

    Badly done @Scintillant ... badly done.....
     
  13. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    How do you stop an Ofsted inspector from drowning?

    Take your foot off his head.
     
  14. indusant

    indusant Senior commenter

    What's the difference between a Dementor and an Ofsted Inspector?

    One inhabits the deepest, filthiest places. It glories in pain and despair and drains all peace, hope and happiness from the air around them. Get too near one and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. It is truly soulless and evil. If it can, it will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...


    ... the other one is from Harry Potter.
     
  15. Yoda-

    Yoda- Lead commenter

    OFSTED is an acronym for:

    Oh Father, send them eternal damnation [​IMG]



    From gransnet. I'm not a gran....
     
    monicabilongame likes this.
  16. irs1054

    irs1054 Star commenter

    You could, of course, change this to:

    How many OFSTED inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Three.
    One to hold the ladder, one to go up the ladder and change the lightbulb and one to grade the other two's performance as Inadequate.
     
  17. irs1054

    irs1054 Star commenter

    Actually thinking about it, it possibly works better if you replace the "Inadequate" with "Oustanding".
     
  18. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    No evidence of safeguarding - inadequate.
     
    lexus300 and irs1054 like this.
  19. irs1054

    irs1054 Star commenter

    :) vote for the first version.

    I think I might have it:

    How many OFSTED inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Three.
    One to hold the ladder, one to go up the ladder and change the lightbulb and one to grade these two practitioners.;)

    As you might have gathered, this was off the cuff.:rolleyes:
     
  20. Yoda-

    Yoda- Lead commenter

    Q: Why should all Ofsted inspectors be buried 6ft underground?

    A: Because deep down they are nice people.


    From a TES article...

    A few funnier punch lines might be possible?

    Perhaps,

    A: To keep them there


    Can anyone improve the punch line?
     
    irs1054 likes this.

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