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Your Best OFSTED Joke!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Yoda-, Nov 14, 2015.

  1. Yoda-

    Yoda- Lead commenter

    I found myself having a rant about OFSTED on another thread.
    I would like some help in taking the Mick out of them.

    This might do us all good.

    What is the difference between a Steam Roller and OFSTED?

    A Steam Roller would stop after running you over.

  2. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter

  3. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    Why do teachers take an instant dislike to Ofsted inspectors?

    It saves time!
  4. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    How many OFSTED inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Only the one, but he hasn't done it in the last 20 years and will have forgotten how!
  5. GLsghost

    GLsghost Star commenter

    "One F in Ofsted
    There's only one F in Ofsted
    One F in Ofsted
    There's only one F in Ofsted..."
  6. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    Did you hear about the woman who gets talking to another woman at a party?

    'My husband's a plastic surgeon,' she says. 'He tucks up features.'

    'How interesting,' says her companion. 'My husband's an Ofsted inspector.'
  7. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    Carrie V, you beat me to that one!
  8. Yoda-

    Yoda- Lead commenter

    There was a farmer in a field with his sheep. A woman approached him, “if I tell you how many sheep you have in your field will you give me any sheep of my choosing” she said. “Yes” he said “I will”.

    The woman went back to her car working out the numbers on her laptop. A few hours later she came back, “you have 1,527 sheep” she said, “That’s correct you can choose any sheep you want” said the farmer.

    On her way out of the field the farmer said
    “if I tell you what job you do will you give me back what you have taken?”
    “Why yes” she said.

    “You are an OFSTED inspector” he said,
    “Wow! How did you know?” said the lady.

    “Well you came uninvited, you told me what I already knew and by the way give me my ************ dog back.

    Found on an early years Forum.

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    What do you call 100 Ofsted Inspectors at the bottom of the sea?

    A start.
  10. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    Ofsted are like a spirit bar - you have to be careful of the special measures.........
    sebedina, irs1054, jomaimai and 2 others like this.
  11. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    I posted an excellent Downfall on this topic a little while ago. Of course, some joyless mook had it removed. Ofsted has its fans, you know.
  12. Cliffedge

    Cliffedge Occasional commenter

    jomaimai and midnight_angel like this.
  13. Cliffedge

    Cliffedge Occasional commenter

  14. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    The reception children were trying to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was when the Ofsted Inspector decided to talk to them. "You need to use 'big people' words" she told them. She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Joey what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo," he said. "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN, use big people words!" She then asked Eddie what he had done. "I read a book" he replied. "That's wonderful" the Inspector said, thinking she was making great progress. "What book did you read?" Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said "Winnie The ****."
  15. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    Well, that lost it's impact!!
    Winnie the s*h*I*t !!!
    jomaimai and midnight_angel like this.
  16. Cliffedge

    Cliffedge Occasional commenter

    What a total killjoy.

    Lovely. That put her in her place.
  17. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    There's no such thing as a nice ofsted inspector, but if you ever meet one shoot him quickly before he turns bad.
  18. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Dunno how to do links, but Fascinating Aida do a marvellous song about Ofsted.
    ScotSEN likes this.
  19. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    It's a joke!
    Do you imagine an OFSTED inspector would ever talk to a Reception child:eek:
  20. Cliffedge

    Cliffedge Occasional commenter

    I would put nothing past them :rolleyes:

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