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Young female Teachers- and teenage boys

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by justme29, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. I'm a young female Teacher currently doing a PGCE. The problem I have is with comments being made.

    I have heard a variety of things being said i.e. 'Miss is quite muscular', 'lets check out Miss' bum', and once a boy put his hand up in class and said 'Miss, what year were you born in, I heard it was 69'.

    What would you do to allieviate this situation?

    Comments and tips welcome and sorely needed.
  2. biolgirl

    biolgirl New commenter

    This same kind of thing happened to my friend when we did our PGCE together. She was extremely upset by it. On advice from the school the next time it happened my friend asked to normal teacher to continue with the class, whilst she marched the boy out to the telephone. She then called the boys mum and made him tell his mum why he was taken out of class and what he had said. Mother was suitably appalled and boy was white with shock at having to do this. She never had any trouble with the boys in that class after that.
  3. teachur

    teachur New commenter

    Exactly the kind of thing i would reccomend. But before trying it, make sure you know the pupils and the parents, it could backfire quite badly.

    You could also try the shock tactic of getting the school to deal with it as a very serious sexual harrassment case! If a colleague did it repeatedly they would be in trouble.

    Teachers take too much sh*t "on the chin". Why should we?
  4. Thanks for the comments.

    I am not upset, just a bit shocked that kids feel brave enough to behave this way!

    I get it on a daily basis from a number of kids. I guess I kind of expected it-what with the boys having all those hormones flying about-BUT it is not on.

    I'll have to see what happens-then I'll decide what action to take.
  5. Doesnt happen to me as I am an old bag but it happened to a young teacher in my department, the next day (luck) I asked the boy to explain his comments to his mother... her mouth looked like a bellybutton as I explained what happened to hormone fuelled teenage boys who made sexist comments in my department and I think he was grounded for life
  6. trebleklef

    trebleklef New commenter

    i feel i need some help with this... i'm a young female teacher and i usually just brush these things off and laugh. for example a few year 11 girls were saying that a certain pupil had a crush on me... i replied "he must have good taste" and laughed, they laughed too.
    the problem i have is how do i deal with the typical gossiping and slightly bitchy comments off female students who for some reason are jealous of the fact that a few boys have a crush on me? its been really getting me down since the start of the year and i've had enough of it now!
    i've even had comments from other staff that some female students seem to think there is something between myself and this boy in question, which is utterly ridiculous!
    it doesnt help that behavourwise staff comment that these boys dont misbehave for me simply because they fancy me!
    what should i do? go into work looking rough everyday so they have nothing to pick at?!
  7. ignore the bitching, it's typical teenage girls, they ***** about everyone not just you.
    If the boys behave for you because they have a crush, fine, be thankful they are no problem and you have an easy ride.
  8. You have to be careful though - it only takes one comment to ruin a career.

    You don't have to look rough everyday but you should look professional. I'm always shocked at what some female teachers wear at my school - really short skirts, low cut tops etc and then they wonder why the boys make comments or the girls get bitchy. I'm not saying that what you wear should be a major issue but you go to school to work and be professional - if you are surrounded by teenagers then you should dress accordingly.
  9. oh justme29! Poor you! I feel so so sorry about you ...! How unfair is life ... ! Why couldn't you just be a 50 something ugly lady who gets all her pupils to focus on classwork ? Why couldn't you be a Sudanese teacher in Darfur, risking her life everyday at school (how exciting!) ... But dont worry too much luv, before you realise you might find yourself in such situations ... then you will finally find happiness! ...
    Now, seriously ... that kind of response can be classified as "secondary behaviours" which you should ignore and dont respond to them, I mean, if you are beautiful or attractive to the opposite sex, what kind of response would you expect from teenager boys at school!?! I would suggest that you focus on your teaching work and learning management: if the lessons are interesting and productive for the boys and your stance in class is calm and consistent (provided the school learning and behaviour management is all right) I dont see any problem ...
    By the way, if you prefer older, more mature men to admire your beauty, I volunteer ...
  10. i have exactly the same problems, but the other way around - i am a male pgce student, and i get it all off the girls. at first it scared me to death and i used to just freeze, but now i've got used it it and we have a bit of banter about it, then get on with the lesson. its a bit unnerving and i too am suprised at how forward youngsters can be, but its much because we'r students and the kids are prepared to push it further. it wont happen next year i dont think.
  11. dizzymai

    dizzymai New commenter

    Mestre: I don't think it is fair to sarcastically belittle justme29's problem, especially as you reveal yourself to be male at the end of your post. Of course you don't see there's a problem, you are not a young woman teaching teenage boys. Comparing her plight to a woman in Darfur is ludicrous. I found your comments a bit low.
    Justme29- I have had this kind of thing, recently (and I'm 40!) and in the past. Once a 14 yr old boy left a note in my bag suggesting smut and I went to the head and showed it to her and he was embarassed and it was dealt with. I felt a little awkward around him afterwards but the only way forwards is extreme professionalism. Recently a student made rude insinuations about me and I emailed the deputy with his comments- he was reprimanded and had to write me a letter of apology. Now he is as meek as a lamb around me. If you have supportive senior staff who take this seriously and understand how embarrassing and difficult it can be and, as someone else has said, it only takes one comment to ruin a career. Nip it in the bud and let's hope you don't have someone like Mestre as your deputy head who would probably tell you not to worry your pretty little head about things like that and would you like to go for a drink?
  12. ok, I apologise for my post, I was just trying to defuse the problem, being a case of "leery" bantering and not something more serious (like child molesting, of which i have been accused a few months ago)... justme29 is right to be concerned, and if she wants to protect herself, here a possible solution: have the concerned lessons recorded in a digital audiorecorder (they are cheap and small enough to keep unnoticed in a pocket). The evidence will be irrefutable.
  13. Being a young female teacher I can sympathise with you. Last year I had a student make a rap song in which he claimed he had ?done me in the school hall? He then uploaded it onto a social network and it was passes around students MP3 players and phones. As soon as I heard about it I went to SMT. They excluded him and he has to write a formal letter of apology. Even now the boy can?t look me in the eye and did all he could for months to avoid my lessons. Further to this he was mocked by his peers for **** music and lyrics. In the end I felt quite sorry for him.

    What I would say is that if comments made make you feel uncomfortable ensure that you have reported it to your mentor or head of department. Do all you can to stay professional remember day they are students and you are the adult and any inappropriate comments are disrespectful. The phone call home is powerful, and liaising with parents is one of the QTS standards so give it ago.

    Good luck for the rest of your PGCE.
  14. I've had boobs chalked on the carpet, penis' drawn on the board before I get into the room etc. but thank fully it is a boy's school and sexual harrassment is taken seriously if I choose to raise it. I'm older and experienced enough now to be able to quip about the quality of the drawing, or tie in the lesson objective to the comment made, refer to it later in the lesson - not removing the drawing - so that the boy concerned is so humiliated that he ever did something that became such a focus, he doesn't bother doing it again. I treat it as "normal" - i.e not as sexual or tabboo. I've photocopied doodlings on books and sent them home and taken pictures of stuff on the board and sent them home and givn them to SMT. A problem shared is a problem halved. Make sure as many people know about it - talk about it at lunch - in the staff room - so it isn't brushed under the carpet and constantly aired.
  15. linski

    linski New commenter

    Your post reminded me of an incident when I was on PGCE; a Y9 girl put her hand up (in a history class) and with a very 'innocent' expression asked, "Miss, what's a shaven haven?" !! I was a trifle surprised, (particularly since we were discussing how the Jews suffered esculating violations of their civil liberties!) I managed not to laugh (I am not so young or shockable) and told the girl that her comment was inappropriate; she needed to think about the topic we were discussing. I think she was just trying to find out how I would react. (I'm fairly sure she wouldn't have asked that of a male teacher - trainee or otherwise) Kids aren't stupid and will try most new teachers. The game continued as the girl then said "So you know what that means then Miss?" I sent her out so her audience was removed. Divide and conquer! Use the sanctions. I think your young lads are just trying to find your Achilles heel.
  16. I had a similar prob when I moved schools, when it hadn't really happened at my previous school - partly the novelty factor, I guess. I told one boy calmly but very seriously that if he continued making sexual comments *in my hearing* (whether they were about me or not) I would make a formal complaint of sexual harassment against him. That pretty much stopped it.

    You have to expect(but not necessarly accept) some level of sexual comment from teenage boys - it's what they're programmed for!
  17. Hi justme29..... all of us have the right to set the boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not in our classroom.... you will have to do that clearly... set out what you are prepared to accept and make any consequences very clear.... don't get shocked... get professional about it.... it is down to people... (Teenage boys included) refusing to see you as you are.... their teacher and focussing on other issues eg ... that you are a female.... you have to assert yourself.... one of the standard ways of doing this is to avoid being defensive... if it happens in class then clearly single out the perpertrator and ask them to elaborate and explain what they mean by the remark... go on the offensive.... ask them where they have picked up this inappropriate language...ask them if this is acceptable talk in their homes.... ask them if they are aware of what sexual harrassment is...etc... you will need to temper your comments to reflect the seriouness of the situation... make them stand before they answer or you could go and stand beside them... all this will isolate them.... my daughter got the same type of abuse when she started teaching... the solution will be down to your own attitude.. if they know you are not prepared to take the abuse then they may be more cautious about dishing it out.... hope that this helps...
  18. just to let your know I am a 37 year old hag, RE teacher and I get it all the time... so it is not a youth issue..As I am a bit older I do brush it off. But also make it clear it is not acceptable but more importantly, make sure the incident is recorded, not a punitive measure but to protect yourself. Even if it is just a case of mentioning it to another member of staff, writing down in your teaching diary if you are a PGCE student, or on the system. I had one incident when I was asked what happened in a class and I really could not remember, luckily the TA did so it was fine

  19. Oh and never be alone in a room with any problem students, I have one that I always let his 'Mate' wait for him if he is in DT, or I leave the door open and stand by the door.

  20. BigFrankEM

    BigFrankEM Established commenter

    Post 18 & 19

    So you see, even if someone is harrassing you, it´s up to you to ensure you are not seen as the perpetrator!

    No wonder anarchy reigns in so many classrooms and schools.

    You couldn´t make it up, could you?

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