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Wrongly accused of assault and suspended...

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by weesteve, Sep 13, 2020.

  1. weesteve

    weesteve New commenter

    What a week...

    In the middle of a horrible divorce and after two days of the new school year two police officers turn up at my house as I’m planning for the next day, bundle me into a police van and drive me to cells 20 miles away where I’m locked up for 21 hours before bing interviewed. Why? My wife has made a false allegation of assault after hurling abuse at me as I was on my way to school for the first day of term.

    I’m released on bail but told I can’t go home, which means I can’t seem my two young children for at least the next 28 days. The next day, Thursday, my headteacher gives me the choice of suspension or getting signed off for the length of the police investigation and possible prosecution (God help me). On Friday a letter from the LA/school warns me of possible dismissal and I’m told I can’t contact any work colleagues while I’m signed off/suspended, and my union rep warns me of a rollercoaster ride ahead.

    All this because my wife can’t wait for the sale of our home and wants me out now, wants to prejudice my chances of access to my children beyond that, and is determined to ensure that I don’t have the financial resources to get a mortgage for a small place that might have just accommodated the children for a Friday or Saturday night.

    Has anybody been through anything similar before?

    After a hellish last 12 months this could be the last straw. Any advice offered would be greatly appreciated, especially from anyone who’s ever been through similar before (the duty solicitor said that this kind of false allegation is not uncommon when women want their estranged husbands/partners out of the house). The ironic thing is that I wanted to leave/run away the day my wife told me of the divorce but the solicitor I took on advised me to stay n the house, however hard it got...
     
    alex_teccy likes this.
  2. Corvuscorax20

    Corvuscorax20 Lead commenter

    no advice, just sending you lots of love. Something like this happened to my cousin. It was horrible xx
     
    tall tales, DexterDexter and Marshall like this.
  3. ACOYEAR8

    ACOYEAR8 Star commenter

    You need solid legal advice. With respect, and i know how rough a divorce can be, you will get more from a decent lawyer than here on the forum. Take care of yourself.
    P.S. your HT should know that in this country you are innocent until proven guilty.
     
  4. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter

    Agree with posts 2 & 3 above. I really wouldn't rely on a duty solicitor - the quality of your legal advice ans support may well determine whether your career (as well as your liberty) survives this. I wouldn't skimp on that, even if it means going into debt. As far as school is concerned follow the instructions exactly, but it used to be the case (& may still be) that someone suspended is allowed one trusted colleague to maintain in contact with - ask your Union about this.

    Incidentally when you speak to your solicitor, make sure you detail ALL your wife's behaviour to you - shouting abuse could, possibly, be interpreted as an assault. If so, you might want to make a counter-claim against her, and get the police to investigate that...
     
  5. Newidentity

    Newidentity Occasional commenter

    Get the best legal advice that you can afford. A starting point might be to contact a group like fathers 4 justice.
     
    alex_teccy and Pomza like this.
  6. asnac

    asnac Lead commenter

    That seems extraordinary if there is a false claim against you - assuming there's no evidence other than your wife's word. The police have no authority to tell you not to go home, so was it a magistrate?
     
  7. Rott Weiler

    Rott Weiler Star commenter Forum guide

    Pomza and asnac like this.
  8. meggyd

    meggyd Star commenter

    I don't think you should respond to this and apologies in advance but if there has been a previous history of calls to the police - and they could have been unproven and/or malicious - I think they may be able to make this part of the bail conditions. If children are involved there have to be safeguarding measures in place. I hope it works out for you. You may want to get union advice too if there is a safeguarding concern. Keep well.
     
  9. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    You may want to have this thread removed if there is any chance your wife or a friend of hers will see it.
    And possibly if there is a chance your head will see it, depending on whether they will understand the need to let off steam or not.

    Best of luck though...sounds like you are going to need it.
     
    Flanks likes this.
  10. asnac

    asnac Lead commenter

    Quite right, Rott Weiler, thank you. I note that this page also says that the solicitors "can apply to the court for the set bail conditions to be varied or lifted". I don't know if that would be an option for the OP.
     
    Pomza and Rott Weiler like this.
  11. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    Plenty of men have been through this before.
    It certainly is not uncommon. She's setting things up for full custody of the children, and a generous divorce settlement. You stand to lose everything, and all it took was one phone call.

    Innocent until proven guilty is a quaint notion that unfortunately no longer exists in cases such as these, as you've already learned. The situation is very similar to when pupils make false allegations.

    You really do need the very best legal advice. Good luck.
     
  12. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter


    Unless the OP has other sources of income (or an unusually high amount of savings), ruining his career will ensure that he cannot pay any 'generous' divorce settlement now or in the future. So a rather odd strategy for his wife to adopt...
     
  13. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    It would all work in her favour regarding the division of the current assets. His future career earnings would be of secondary importance, and might not be taken into account anyway regarding child support (there are cases in the US where it certainly doesn't). The union rep has already mentioned a roller-coaster ride ahead, so the future career earnings have already suffered a nose-dive.

    The wife has already got him out of the house, so the strategy has already paid off.
     
  14. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter


    I'm looking at the comment about his 'two young children'. When I was at this stage of my life, the division of the assets wouldn't have left an ex-spouse much because of the size of our mortgage, and the most valuable asset was my future earning potential; if the OP is similar even slightly, destroying his potential earning potential will be cutting off her nose to spite her face...
     
    Jolly_Roger15 and catbefriender like this.
  15. aypi

    aypi Senior commenter

    My ex-wife came into the sitting room where I was sleeping due to the state of our marriage, one Saturday morning. She proceeded to pick a fight with me, trying to press buttons. I was confused by her actions and the confusion meant I did not react. Our break-up and marriage had not had any rows.
    Things became clearer. The police arrived. She had called them, and then tried to start a fight.
    One of my friends is going through similar rubbish just now. False accusations of abuse, while it is OK for her to go home with another man.
    There are some vile types about.
     
  16. thejudgesscoresarein

    thejudgesscoresarein Established commenter

    You need to seek legal advice straight away. Although the ‘duty solicitors’ do not have any such connection to the police, it’s best to organise your own. In regards to the school suspending you, it is the right thing to do in the best interests of yourself and the school. From your perspective, you’re going through a somewhat ‘messy divorce’, not allowed to be in your own home under bail conditions. Your mind won’t be in the right place and that will have an effect on your job as a teacher. From the schools perspective, a very serious allegation has been made which could convey in with safeguarding- whilst the police investigations are taking place, it is best that you are not in school for that purpose. If it is proven that you are not guilty of assault, then there is no reason for the school to dismiss you, however, if you have, then they could, as although not a pupil, the school’s credibility would certainly be questioned as to why they employ someone who has been convicted of assault.
    Bear in mind though, the police can only convict someone if:
    A) the perpetrator has come forward and said that they did it.
    B) there is sufficient evidence available to justify a conviction.
     
  17. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    Agreed, it is cutting off her nose to spite her face, but she's made the allegations already. Do you think she wants to drop the charges once he's been removed from the house (and lose face, and her victim status), or will she press on, and see him convicted?

    His career might well be over regardless. The future earnings have already been severely affected. His wife is not the calm rational person that you were.
     
    Jolly_Roger15 likes this.
  18. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    A classic example. Just one phone call is all it took.
    Yep - false accusations are a real danger.
    There certainly are, and it's all too easy to get trapped. I'm hugely fortunate that I didn't.

    Personally I would never recommend a man to get married, but hey, that's just my personal viewpoint.
     
  19. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    Agree 100%. Duty solicitors will not be giving the OP's case the attention it needs.
    In theory. I wonder about in practice though. The school will be thinking of its reputation.
    The police and CPS might well give it a try, regardless of evidence. They've got nothing to lose. Obtaining convictions is all that counts.
     
    Jolly_Roger15 likes this.
  20. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    Oops - I meant Canada not the US. It might well the same in the US though (and over here) - I haven't researched it thoroughly.
     

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