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Wrong profession

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by cate50, Sep 23, 2013.

  1. cate50

    cate50 New commenter

    I am really starting to think I am in the wrong job. I love being a teacher. I love it when kids learn something new and their face lights up. I love it when you get to the end of the day feeling like everyone had fun and they are going home talking about what they did. The kids are the great bit of my job. I cannot cope with the pressure and expectations of others though. I am here every night until 6pm. I work at weekends and mark and plan when I get home. I spend free time organising extra curricular/ extra department stuff and the general running of a department by myself is really getting me down. I feel like I am not capable of managing everything. I feel (and hear) peoples disapproval when I forget something or let one of the MANY balls I am juggling drop. I have had so many people say "you need to learn to say NO" but it really isn't that simple when it is just you managing a department. I feel like I am terrible at this aspect of my job and quite frankly it is making me miserable. I was an NQT last year and did the same role with more PPA. I am now on minimum PPA and it's making me feel sick at the thought of coming to work. I have already had an incident with w member of staff was frustrated with me and I lost my temper. I have asked my senior team if I can go home as I am very likely to break today but the advice was to stay. I have some fairly massive things going on at home at the moment and the past 18 months have been one nightmare after another. If it were simply a case of teaching good lessons, engaging kids and inspiring them then I think i'd be ok. My classroom practice is good and I know I am a good teacher. I am failing at the admin.
     
  2. ljr

    ljr New commenter

    Oh dear, I wish I could give you a big hug. I could have written that same post a few years ago. IT IS NOT YOU!!!!!! Teachers are being expected to do far too much in many schools, and so many end up feeling the same as you are now, and then end up leaving the profession.

    I was in the very lucky position of being able to give up my responsibilities and return to being a class teacher. I then went even further and went part time before taking (slightly) early retirement. It meant that I was able to enjoy my last few years of teaching, but my pension now isn't as good as it could have been. As you say, it is the admin that is so horrid, the 9 to 4 bit is wonderful!

    I don't suppose I've been of any help, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, I do hope that the rest of the week improves.
     
  3. cate50

    cate50 New commenter

    Thank you. The thing is.....ultimately it IS me though isn't it? There are plenty of teachers looking for work. If I can't hack the reality of my job (No matter how unfair or destructive it is) then someone else will happily come in and do it. Until they break. And there will be a never ending line of youthful, unjaded teachers ready to be spoilt by it. I feel like shouting "Striking about pensions is irrelevent if you think you might be DEAD before you get that far!!!!". I am only a class teacher. I hold no TLR, No title. I just do the job because I am the one here to do it.

    Anyway.....I have just finished another job (ticking it off my list whilst writing this!) and now I am going to go home (a good 40 minutes earlier than usual!!!).

    Thank you
     
  4. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    oh Cate-you poor thing. More and more teachers seem to be feeling like this at the moment. Coping with problems at work and at home is very difficult to manage. If you really feel so low it might be worth going to talk to your GP about how you are feeling. Re the job-it is relentless. I work part time. Today is my day off. I have spent all afternoon and part of this evening planning a Christmas Carol concert. I spent part of this evening recording some music for tomorrow. Also, being at the top of the pay scale I get comments like.." well you have to earn your money". You are just expected to do more and more work. If you can find another job , go for it. Your happiness and health are worth much more than teaching! Good luck-let us know how you get on x
     
  5. specialistpeteacher

    specialistpeteacher New commenter

    sounds like your having a **** and difficult time. Few things you might want to try, i have found they have helped myself and others in the past-

    1) look at your time management schedule things in order they need to be done to get the highest priority done first.

    2) is there anyway of making things easy for your marking etc.

    3) talk to management about how you feel and ask for advice (so if it all goes *** up you have that in writing)

    4) Ask others how they manage it.

    5) Look for another job............there are some great ones out there in teaching i am lucky enough to be in one right now.

    hope that helps and good luck
     
  6. cate50

    cate50 New commenter

    Thanks guys. I have had meetings with SLM this week and am managing my workload more. I think it helps that I have also made it very clear what is MY JOB and what is extra. I am creating a papertrail of everything I am asked to do in addition to my "normal" teaching workload so that there is total transparency about what I am coping with. I am going on CPD training to help prioritise and manage my time and have asked to be given a senior line manager to refer things to. I don't know if any of this will make the difference but for now it has at least helped me to feel more in control. It helps more than anything to know that it is not me being useless and more a symptom of the state of the teaching profession at the moment. Your advise has been, as ever on this forum, brilliant. Thank you. Fingers crossed I can make it to half term (then I just have to deal with moving house!!!).

    xx
     
  7. cate50

    cate50 New commenter

    A year later and I am still asking the same question. Am I actually any good at this? It seems all the indicators that I value are not the ones that are being checked. All I have ever wanted was engaged students who talk about their learning with excitement. Go home and share it and expand upon it. Come and ask questions and show and demonstrate a developing understanding and love of the subject. I am confident this happens. I have recorded evidence. But I am afraid I cannot tick all of the boxes.........in fact I may have forgotten which boxes are required and which were from last year and are no longer needed. I am exhausted. Perhaps the question is not CAN I do this job but instead SHOULD I? I have little choice as a single woman with a mortgage. At least I have a job. I shouldn't complain. Sorry.
     
  8. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    I think you're being too hard on yourself and you sound like a perfectionist. You need to sit down and have a good think about where you can cut corners. Ask yourself if you REALLY need to do this or that; if you really need to spend so much time on something. Your health

    isn't in the best shape, judging from another thread, and you're not doing yourself any favours by constantly fretting about work. It's only a job! Just do what you have to and nothing more.
     

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