I am really starting to think I am in the wrong job. I love being a teacher. I love it when kids learn something new and their face lights up. I love it when you get to the end of the day feeling like everyone had fun and they are going home talking about what they did. The kids are the great bit of my job. I cannot cope with the pressure and expectations of others though. I am here every night until 6pm. I work at weekends and mark and plan when I get home. I spend free time organising extra curricular/ extra department stuff and the general running of a department by myself is really getting me down. I feel like I am not capable of managing everything. I feel (and hear) peoples disapproval when I forget something or let one of the MANY balls I am juggling drop. I have had so many people say "you need to learn to say NO" but it really isn't that simple when it is just you managing a department. I feel like I am terrible at this aspect of my job and quite frankly it is making me miserable. I was an NQT last year and did the same role with more PPA. I am now on minimum PPA and it's making me feel sick at the thought of coming to work. I have already had an incident with w member of staff was frustrated with me and I lost my temper. I have asked my senior team if I can go home as I am very likely to break today but the advice was to stay. I have some fairly massive things going on at home at the moment and the past 18 months have been one nightmare after another. If it were simply a case of teaching good lessons, engaging kids and inspiring them then I think i'd be ok. My classroom practice is good and I know I am a good teacher. I am failing at the admin.