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Would you do this? Work/home situation

Discussion in 'Primary' started by bassetthound, Aug 25, 2011.

  1. bassetthound

    bassetthound New commenter

    I am ideally looking for responses from people who live in areas where there aren't many teaching jobs.
    I have recently secured a full time permanent primary job which has taken me 5 years to get due to the competition and lack of jobs where I live. I don't want to give up my job
    However due to my husbands job and a desire to live close to my family we are relocating to a new area which means I will have to travel to keep my job. My new house is 2 hours drive from current school so travelling everyday would be very difficult.
    Would you:
    a) stay close to school during the week and travel home at weekends
    b) drive every day - 4 hours in total
    c) give up the job and look for something else

    I think I am pretty much going to do option a but people I have told have in general been very negative, comments like you are crazy, so bad for a marriage, etc. etc.
    Any reassurance?
     
  2. bassetthound

    bassetthound New commenter

    I am ideally looking for responses from people who live in areas where there aren't many teaching jobs.
    I have recently secured a full time permanent primary job which has taken me 5 years to get due to the competition and lack of jobs where I live. I don't want to give up my job
    However due to my husbands job and a desire to live close to my family we are relocating to a new area which means I will have to travel to keep my job. My new house is 2 hours drive from current school so travelling everyday would be very difficult.
    Would you:
    a) stay close to school during the week and travel home at weekends
    b) drive every day - 4 hours in total
    c) give up the job and look for something else

    I think I am pretty much going to do option a but people I have told have in general been very negative, comments like you are crazy, so bad for a marriage, etc. etc.
    Any reassurance?
     
  3. greta444

    greta444 New commenter

    Oh, this is difficult. There are njobs where I livee so I feel your frustrating dilemma. Do you have children? If not, then I would go for option A. If you do, or plan to have them soon I would just try to find something else. Do not do the driving thing, you'll be exhausted and no use to anyone. Can you not move, say an hour away and get your husband to do some commuting aswell?
    Good luck
     
  4. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    I would say try option A but be prepared to reconsider at half term if either of you is unhappy.

     
  5. bassetthound

    bassetthound New commenter

    Thanks for the reply. I don't have children yet but at 32 I would like to very soon.
    I'm so torn - I don't know what is best.

     
  6. marlin

    marlin Star commenter Forum guide

    Are there more jobs in the area you are moving to? Why not do option A but start applying for a job closer to your new house asap?
     
  7. bassetthound

    bassetthound New commenter

    A good idea but unfortunately I haven't seen a permanent job advertised there in 2 years[​IMG]
    Maybe they will start to come up now though!
     
  8. I really feel for you. My drive is about 50 minutes, and can be over an hour on a bad traffic day. I don't mind it so much when it's light, but it is tough going in the dark during the winter. My mornings are always very stressful and I always feel like I'm running behind, because I can't leave when I want to: my timings are dictated by my children's transport arrangements.
    But, I also know how hard it is to find a permanent full time job. I put up with quite a lot of rubbish at work and have even felt like just walking out a couple of times when it has got really bad, but the lack of other permanent, full time jobs out there stops me.
    If I were you, I'd go for option A and keep looking closer to home. They always say it's easier to get a job once you have a job. Maybe you could just do the commute on Monday morning and Friday evening, so you only have 4 nights away from home? If it were me, that would be preferable to being exhausted all the time due to such a long commute every day.
    I also spend a ridiculous amount on petrol every month - have you thought about how the cost of petrol works out against the cost of a few nights away each week?
    Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck. It's a very difficult predicament to be in.

     
  9. Just a thought - I'm sure you probably know this - but some councils only advertise on their own website and not nationally on the TES. Don't know if this is the case in your situation but there may be more jobs out there than you realise...
     
  10. bassetthound

    bassetthound New commenter

    Thanks for the thoughful reply. I plan to travel up on Monday and then leave at 3pm and go home on Friday. The cost of petrol is insane so driving every day would really eat into my salary. I trained with people who are still doing maternity cover posts and sick leaves, some are even doing day to day supply so I really feel like I have to hang on to my job.

    I will really miss my husband during the week, but I would find it so hard to be at home with nothing to do and might end up resenting the move - oh my goodness, it's so hard to know:-(
     
  11. bassetthound

    bassetthound New commenter

    There aren't any jobs as I'm in N Ireland so in fact most jobs aren't advertised at all. Here the way people get jobs is very often head teachers phoning round schools to see if there are any good teachers available! Someone will have to be in a school for a few years in a supply basis before they will be made permanent.
    It's a very old style system of recruiting.
     
  12. ROSIEGIRL

    ROSIEGIRL Established commenter

    And if you're thinking of starting a family, 4 hours driving every day, on top of a demanding job, isn't going to help!
    Good luck with whatever you decide!
     
  13. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    Option A without question. Get on with it and stop fretting.

    Actually a weekend hubbie sounds quite appealing, just think of all the midweek football matches you won't have to put up with. And they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Lots and lots of people do this every week.

    I would try to get a holiday SC let to start with, so you have that bit of independence you don't get with a hotel or B&B. And as it is the winter you can often get really good rates. I've done this twice in my career (full time renting, but still a cheap way to rent). It also means you don't have to sign up for 6 months or whatever.

    Work hard all week and so have your weekends totally free. Not working on a Sunday might even give you more time with your hubbie that you otherwise have.

    I honestly think you would be stupid not to.
     
  14. bassetthound

    bassetthound New commenter

    Thanks for this reply! A weekend husband - I like that[​IMG]
    I need to be more upbeat and as you say just get on with things and be glad to have a job.
     
  15. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    Definitely be upbeat!

    This is your situation, not ideal, but get on and make the best of it. Look at the positives:

    1) You have a new and permanent post starting in just a couple of weeks. 2) You get 4 nights to be a singleton and can do all your beauty stuff without anyone hammering on the bathrooms door. 3) You don't have to sit through mid-week football, rugby, golf, cycling, documentaries about weird leaders of weird countries. 4) You get all your work done in the week and have all weekend totally FREE! 5) You have a new and permanent post starting in just a couple of weeks!!! (6-10) Add them in yourself!

    Start getting excited about it and plan where you will live and what you will do! It is going to be fabulous!

    You are going to be a teacher with a real, proper, permanent position! You are going to be part of a school and can stay there as long as you want to.
     
  16. Try it out for a year- then start a family! Life changes very much when you add children to the equation. Good luck with the job and enjoy it.x
     
  17. I'm in the SW and primary so VERY few jobs, although not as bad as your area by the sounds of things. I will be commuting to another city (approx 45 mins each way) but I'm happy to commute and it is probably quicker to get there than the other side of my own city most days!
    I am married with two children and I will stay living at home but my husband works away in the week - he goes 'up north' at some disgusting hour on a Monday and comes back on Friday evenings. Although we found it hard initially I now LOVE IT!!
    It means that I can please myself in the week - which has meant that I can work to my hearts content whilst on placements and doing assignments and this will carry on being a huge advantage when I start my NQT year in a week. I can eat what I want, sleep when I want, hoover when I want.......!!! Seriously it has enabled me to do plenty without any guilt for giving my OH only half my attention and he gets the same advantage too.
    It also means that the weekends are much more special, they are our family time and as we are limited with this we actually make the most of it, rather than letting weekends 'drift' without really spending any time together.
    Oh and no arguements about who gets the remote.... priceless !! Honestly living apart for 4 nights really can be an advantage and doesn't mean the end of your marriage or anything like that, although those with concerns are thinking of you I would say that you can make it work nicely for both of you, both short and longer term.
     
  18. flickaz

    flickaz New commenter

    Another vote for option A. Do all your work Monday to Friday and then a complete break at the weekend!
     

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