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Would you date this guy?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by knickersinatwist, Aug 5, 2011.

  1. Well, I decided that I would put myself back on a dating website - not really looking for anything but you never know who might turn up. I have had a few messages and replied to a couple but if someone doesn't interest me I don't reply (not sure if that makes me a bad person). Today I received this message from someone who I didn't reply to:

    As I've not heard from you, I'm guessing you've read my email and I haven't caught your eye - that's fine if it is the case and I suppose you could be very busy and not gotten around to replying, but I guess I'm just a little bummed that you've not said something either way. As someone who obviously isn't blessed with the dashing good looks of someone who acts on Hollyoaks, I'm kinda used to having my messages read and ignored on here. However, when I take a good period of my own time to write you a message that does try to reach out to you, show how we are looking for the the same thing and is not entirely composed in txt speak that is then not even replied to to with a couple of polite sentences to inform your disinterest, it kinda gets to you. You genuinely sound like a lovely girl - I only write my messages to girls who sound like yourself, because I think we sound like there could be something there. It makes me a very sad little panda when I get nothing back - a polite no is better than that. I try hard to make well-composed messages to genuinely nice-sounding girls on here like yourself, but you probably get a whole bunch of messages every day from blokes like myself. Take a couple of minutes every day to reply to the ones you don't like that at least try to make an effort, that's all. I apologise for the rant, but this seems to happen a lot to me at least and I thought you might be different - I really felt like I was the kind of guy you are looking for.

    He then posted a link to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfwwHa-7Ux8&feature=player_detailpage#t=91s

    Maybe I was in the wrong for not replying, but I think I have had a lucky escape!
     
  2. Well, I decided that I would put myself back on a dating website - not really looking for anything but you never know who might turn up. I have had a few messages and replied to a couple but if someone doesn't interest me I don't reply (not sure if that makes me a bad person). Today I received this message from someone who I didn't reply to:

    As I've not heard from you, I'm guessing you've read my email and I haven't caught your eye - that's fine if it is the case and I suppose you could be very busy and not gotten around to replying, but I guess I'm just a little bummed that you've not said something either way. As someone who obviously isn't blessed with the dashing good looks of someone who acts on Hollyoaks, I'm kinda used to having my messages read and ignored on here. However, when I take a good period of my own time to write you a message that does try to reach out to you, show how we are looking for the the same thing and is not entirely composed in txt speak that is then not even replied to to with a couple of polite sentences to inform your disinterest, it kinda gets to you. You genuinely sound like a lovely girl - I only write my messages to girls who sound like yourself, because I think we sound like there could be something there. It makes me a very sad little panda when I get nothing back - a polite no is better than that. I try hard to make well-composed messages to genuinely nice-sounding girls on here like yourself, but you probably get a whole bunch of messages every day from blokes like myself. Take a couple of minutes every day to reply to the ones you don't like that at least try to make an effort, that's all. I apologise for the rant, but this seems to happen a lot to me at least and I thought you might be different - I really felt like I was the kind of guy you are looking for.

    He then posted a link to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfwwHa-7Ux8&feature=player_detailpage#t=91s

    Maybe I was in the wrong for not replying, but I think I have had a lucky escape!
     
  3. Fierygirl

    Fierygirl New commenter

  4. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Only if you're into lunatics!
     
  5. Jeez could you imagine going out with this man and forgetting his birthday???
     
  6. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    When I used an internet dating site, I received lots of messages from men who thought it appropriate to take the time to tell me exactly what was wrong with my profile. Basically, I laid out exactly what I was looking for, and also what sorts of things were turn-offs. As an English teacher and self-confessed geek/pedant, poor spelling and grammar really annoys me, particularly text speak You wouldn't believe the number of dyslexics who messaged me just to tell me off for having such an attitude.
    I certainly wouldn't date the sort of man who would attack me just for not being interested. Moreover, how does he even know that you didn't respond? Perhaps you haven't checked your inbox yet, or maybe a personal tragedy has delayed your response. Either way, the accusatory tone is hardly conducive to you giving him a chance. Perhaps email him back and suggest that instead of borbarding you with over-emotional waffle, he could politely enquire if you'd received his email and re-iterate his interest. Alternatively, he could get over it and move on.
     
  7. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    I would block his emails - hassle is not needed!
     
  8. I think you may be right...perhaps a lucky escape!!! Well, I would be like you, if they didn't float your boat then don't feel guilty about it. If he didn't float your boat when you were out in a club and came onto you, your reaction would probably be the same!! (that sounds a bit harsh and b*tchy, don't mean it to sound that way)
    I'm guessing you may find someone else, would be a bit weirded out by the video link too>
    Goo luck xx
     
  9. Milkandchalk

    Milkandchalk New commenter

    Now I'm feeling guilty after watching that video! I have recently rejoined a dating website and had a fair few emails from people I'm just not interested in. How do you phrase a 'no' email? I'd feel worse sending that than just leaving it.
    Besides, it's a two way thing and guys just do it to me too!
     
  10. The video is actually quite good and may be useful to get the kids to watch it to think about cyber bullying - but still it's very odd to send it to someone! There are some real weirdos out there lol.
     
  11. I had one like that as well when I was internet dating. Ignore ignore!!
    I also had one who was hassling me for him to stay the night at mine three days after we had met. I told him I wasn't ready for him to stay the night yet, especially in the same house as my two young daughters.
    He said, "Fair enough," which was fine.
    But then the NEXT DAY he asked me if I was ready yet?? And then was affronted and gave me a hard time when I said no. Apparently I should be putting out after four days in his book.
    That was the end of it, and he couldn't understand why.
    For every gem there are twenty ***. Unfortunately you kind of have to sift through them. But true gentlemen will shine through.
     
  12. I had another one from another guy - 'I keep missing you on chat, can I have your number?'. Feel like replying err no, take the hint!
     
  13. SleighBelle

    SleighBelle Occasional commenter

    Rahhhhh!! This has actually got me really riled up on your behalf.
    How DARE he try to make you feel guilty? That whole message is one long guilt-trip, from the 'kinda used to being ignored' down to the patronising 'Take a couple of minutes...' advice and the grand finale of 'I thought you might be different'. What a load of f*cking b*llocks!
    He probably sends that out to all the girls he really fancies and doesn't hear back from, somehow hoping that the ramble of self-pitying accusations will make you want to get to know him better. That youtube video just validates his 'poor-me' complex. Maybe he did spend time sending you a message... but you have to take internet dating with a bowlful of salt, without investing too much time, effort, hope or attention before you've even struck up a conversation. I don't think he's quite realised that yet.
    As it is, though, you're best off just completely ignoring him and blocking him from your profile. A very, very lucky escape!
     
  14. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    It makes you wonder if internet dating is such a good thing. For all you know you could be communicating with a computer literate wombat.
     
  15. Just watched the video again after copying my link from here rather than his message - he had actually set it so it missed out the start of the video and just started at the online dating bit!
     
  16. For the record, after I met Mr Impatient, I had one date with Mr I-love-my-motorbike-and-want-to-tell-you-all-about-it, and then I met my future husband who was a fantastic first date and a total gentleman.
    So internet dating can work.
    He also had a horror story to tell about a girl who had told him she wanted to marry him on their first (and only) date and continued to stalk him for over a year after that.
     
  17. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Agreed.
     
  18. Would I date him?

    No!

    He is a nutter. [​IMG]


     
  19. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    Would he REALLY have felt better if you had replied saying "thanks but no thanks." I would rather be ignored to convince myself they actually didn't read my message lol x
     
  20. Some people really need to get over themselves, don't they?

    Send him a message telling him to cry you a river/dry his eyes/build a bridge, then block him. Actually, just block him.
     

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