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Worries about letting down NQT school

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by Kitchie1710, Apr 28, 2012.

  1. Hi,
    I am 5 weeks away from the end of my PGCE secondary English course. I don't intend to quit when this close to the end and I do think that I still want to be a teacher. What is upsetting me at the moment is:
    1 - Letting down my tutor and mentor by not progressing as much as I think I should be and apparant poor organsation (also embarassing for my mentor I think) - I do try to be organised but waste so much time half planning a lesson then abadoning it to start again with something else that I rarely get my lesson plans to teachers in any time for them to give me feedback.
    2 - Letting down the school I'm going to for my NQT. I am struggling on the course, feeling that I am not where I should be, making the same mistakes. I also have experience of being 'removed' from jobs because my employers felt I was inadaquate (three jobs in a row, not schools). I don't want this to happen again - I choose to go into teaching as I believed that my desire to do it and the skills I have would mean I could be good at it. I'm wondering now if I do have the potential to be good and the last thing I want is my NQT school to have to 'remove' me for not being good enough. I am begining to wonder if I should stick to basic admin type jobs and focus on finding other outlets to feel fulfilled.
    I do want to talk to my tutor (but don't want to come across as needy or whiney) and have thought about getting counselling through uni to help with confidence issues related to losing the three jobs before (I permenantly take anti-anxiety meds but this is a chemical imbalance issue and I am fine when on them.) However, I did still lose those jobs and I am still not delievering as I should be.
    Quite a long post there - Any thoughts would be very welcome (do you feel the same? Should I worry so much about failing NQT? Is it ok to not enjoy PGCE and could I enjoy NQT? Does it sound like I'm not cut out for this?)

  2. Captain Obvious

    Captain Obvious New commenter

    You're entering a career - the early days are the hardest, and even after a year of training you shouldn't expect to be perfect. I think when it comes to planning lessons, try finishing one you think you might abandon to see how it goes. Bad lessons happen and you chalk them up to experience, feedback from mentors can help you hone it rather that not getting any feedback at all.
    The NQT year will be harder - you're largely cut adrift to get on and do the job with a smattering of meetings to discuss and work on any issues. Good schools will support you (in useful ways) to work on your weaknesses, not so good schools can make things worse and hold you back.
    If the university can provide support, get it as soon as you can. You don't want the pressure of doubting yourself on top of the pressures that come with going full time.
  3. Thank you for the reply - I am going to speak to my tutor (have emailed her) and I probably will end up unloading to mentor tomorrow. I also emailed counselling at uni which offer an email counselling service. I have little confidence in myself which I know is a major barrier to progress. Occasionally something good happens which boosts me for a short while but then everything comes crashing back down.
    Ultimately I want to teach - I am probably not cut out for it though. I'm sure there are many people out there who had the same experience and at least I'll know I gave it a go. No regrets.


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