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Worried: why has depression not lifted properly yet?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Kirigami, Oct 7, 2012.

  1. Sorry to be posting about depression again.
    It has been three months now since the start of this nasty episode of depression. I was put on citalopram 40mg back in april (change of meds, I had been on other AD for 5 years).
    I keep reading forums about people who saw their depression start to lift after 4-6 weeks etc and I am just despairing because mine has not lifted yet. I seem to have the odd better day when I have a more positive outlook, more energy, keep busy etc then it's back to doom and gloom.
    My OH says I am definitely getting better but I personally can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's making me worry and despair.
    Do you think that it is normal that after such a long time I still don't see pleasure / interest in the things I normally love? The mornings are tough, I am not sleeping very well and my appetite is up and down a lot.
    My GP says citalopram is a very effective drug but I am just worried it's not going to work for me as by now I am normally out of the woods. GP seems to think it is best to stick with citalopram and have CBT therapy instead. But what if she is stubbornly refusing to see the treatment is not working?
    I know all this negative thinking is part of depression but I just don't know what to do to get back to my happy self.
    I am hoping CBT can help me, it has in the past.
    Any reassurance would be welcome. Sorry to be so needy but I am just going through a tough time.
     
  2. Sorry to be posting about depression again.
    It has been three months now since the start of this nasty episode of depression. I was put on citalopram 40mg back in april (change of meds, I had been on other AD for 5 years).
    I keep reading forums about people who saw their depression start to lift after 4-6 weeks etc and I am just despairing because mine has not lifted yet. I seem to have the odd better day when I have a more positive outlook, more energy, keep busy etc then it's back to doom and gloom.
    My OH says I am definitely getting better but I personally can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's making me worry and despair.
    Do you think that it is normal that after such a long time I still don't see pleasure / interest in the things I normally love? The mornings are tough, I am not sleeping very well and my appetite is up and down a lot.
    My GP says citalopram is a very effective drug but I am just worried it's not going to work for me as by now I am normally out of the woods. GP seems to think it is best to stick with citalopram and have CBT therapy instead. But what if she is stubbornly refusing to see the treatment is not working?
    I know all this negative thinking is part of depression but I just don't know what to do to get back to my happy self.
    I am hoping CBT can help me, it has in the past.
    Any reassurance would be welcome. Sorry to be so needy but I am just going through a tough time.
     
  3. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    So... we're playing snakes and ladders, and the dice aren't falling in your favour.
    Maybe I'll get to square 100 first... but you will get there if you stick with it. And who knows - I might hit that annoying snake that lurks on number 98... and you might win by plodding onwards without the ladders I found.
    Progress isn't straight forward, I'm afraid. It's hard to recognise progress when you seem to find as many snakes as ladders... your partner is probably right though. It's easier to see when you're not playing the game.

    Hope that helps?
     
  4. Hello.
    It took 10 months for my depression to lift and I went through 4 different types of ADs in that time. Citalopram was the 3rd sort and I think it dealt with my depression quite well, unfortunately it didn't deal with the anxiety very well so I had to change.
    If you can get CBT then you really might find that makes all the difference because it tackles the root cause/s.
    Is there any mileage is discussing a change in dose of the ADs before thinking about changing them? Perhaps you just need a bit more.
    I'm afraid I haven't done much to reassure you but I hope you can get some joy with your GP so think that a good chat through what you've written here might help.
     
  5. It does help thanks Lilac.
    In the past I have responded to treatment so well and so quickly that things taking so long is just a nightmare.
    Do you find it hard to trust your GP too?
    Do you wonder if the AD aren't working / are the wrong type?
    People my age are busy having babies and building their career. I am stuck at home wondering when / if I am going to be able to teach again.
     
  6. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    When someone asks me about a child I teach, I expect them to respect my professional decision.
    Because of this, I decide to respect the advice of other professionals, including doctors. If I don't believe them, I ask them to explain more until I do.

    You can't be lucky with dice every time... you just have to keep playing.
     
  7. Thank you Poème, it does reassure me massively to hear that.
    My anxiety is gone now apart from maybe the odd day here and there, the vomiting all the time due to stress and anxiety is gone too.
    It's mostly low mood I am struggling with although I suppose in retrospect this has improved too.
    I miss waking up in the morning and deciding it's going to be a lovely day so I'll make nice breakfast and go to town.
    Instead now it's "OMG I have woken up early and not slept well again! I need more sleep. *stay in bed ruminate*. OH gets out of bed. I feel low / lazy / useless / lonely.... don't know what to do with myself. I normally love autumn but I just feel numb....." this goes on until the evening when it picks up a little bit and I am able to be more motivated to do work for the business.
    Only a psychiatrist can up Citalopram to 60mg.
    Typical too that last time I saw the doc, I was having a good day, scored lower on PH-9 and was all positive about "the meds finally kicking in". Makes me feel bipolar to be so up and down (counsellor says most of her client feel that they are bipolar but it's just depression talking)!!!!!!!
     
  8. You are right Lilac, it makes sense.
    GP says "it would be unrealistic to expect dramatic improvements so quickly, it is going to be gradual with peaks and trophs".
    True about having to keep playing.
     
  9. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    The snakes and ladders analogy is a very simplistic one - but it works for me.
    I only made it up whilst thinking about a different one the other day... but I like it!

    And I am going to share it with my counsellors this week.
     
  10. You are right, it is very good Lilac!
    I liked Laura's "waves" analogy too.
    How long did it take you to get better Lilac if you don't mind me asking?
     
  11. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Completely, or ...?
    It took me at least 6 weeks to see any change at all.
    I wouldn't say I'm "better" as in it'll never come back.
     
  12. Good for you Lilac!
    I don't understand why my mood didn't start lifting after 6-8 weeks too?
    Anxiety gone but I have no "oomph" and mostly no pleasure in doing things.... this is seriously freaking me out....
     
  13. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Because of the dice?
    Because of the snakes?
    Because you need counselling too?
    Because the dose isn't high enough for you?
    Because you're not recognising the differences?
    Because you were deeper in than you thought?
     
  14. It took 18 months of medication, many months of counselling and CBT and an intense 8 week course of Mindfulness training for me to even begin to see any sort of light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still on a high dose of medication and I still have very, very bleak days but I get them less and less, and when I do get one I try and accept that it will pass and not to be hard on myself that day or put myself in any situation where I know I will not cope.
     
  15. Thanks Lilac, could well be that I was in deeper than I thought + I am not noticing the differences + counselling I haven't had this week so could well be that I need it!!!
    I don't feel in a state where I feel so distressed I need the dose to be increased but it could well be that this dose is a bit too low for me, true. Will just need to be more patient I suppose....
     
  16. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    I think it's wise to exclude all the other reasons before looking at changing the dose.

    And I do think your lack of counselling this week is significant.
     
  17. Didn't think it would as in "come on it's only talking" but yup no counselling this week = me total mess!!!
    I thought it was the AD kicking it but maybe it was just counselling kicking in!!
    Therapist said she is amazed how many clients she has who first arrive being miserable / suicidal then how quickly CBT + AD works for them and before they know it they are doing lots, going to parties etc!
    Think I am pre-menstrual as well which could explain why I am crying my eyes out for no reason....
     
  18. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    is not
     
  19. Very true, think hormones also have a big part to play hence PND and 2:1 women suffering from depression vs men.
    I keep reading about scientist research to give me a bit of hope and in December, Naurex are finally going to give evidence on how GLYX-13 has performed in phase II of the clinical trials. It's an antidepressant that works a lot faster than current ADs: "GLYX-13 works very quickly ? hours, rather than weeks for current drugs. Most importantly, it has shown virtually no toxic side effects. Our Phase IIA proof-of-concept study is currently underway. The next stage for GLYX-13 is a more sophisticated study Phase II trial, which would continue into and maybe through 2013."
    I really hope that it works!!!
     
  20. Oh and it's been voted: "Naurex Inc.'s Novel Antidepressant GLYX-13 Recognized as One of Windhover Information Inc.'s 2011 Top 10 Neuroscience Projects to Watch in 11/7/2011"
    Come on scientists, you can do this!!
     

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