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Worried sick

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by missRV, Nov 24, 2015.

  1. missRV

    missRV Occasional commenter

    I posted last week that there are some problems going on in work and got some amazing replies which really helped but I'm now worried about something else.

    Basically, I have a diagnosis for psychosis, severe depression and anxiety; last week I'd come close to taking an overdose because 2 of my colleagues spoke to me in a bad way, I took the following day off and management were really good with me.

    Both colleagues are teaching assistants, one of them has been lovely since all this has happened, we had a really good chat and now have an excellent working relationship.

    The other ignored my text message trying to sort it out and is now questioning everything I do in class, I know this TA goes to management a lot with concerns about how other people do their jobs, today I felt like OFSTED were in my lesson.

    Last week this person's folder went missing from her bag from the staffroom. It appeared on my desk this morning and I'm now worried sick that someone is playing tricks on me. I found it while cleaning up on my PPA session and ran to the staff room to leave it there. She sent an email round tonight saying the folder had been returned so I know it was hers, I think I made a dreadful mistake though I sent her a message saying it was me who found it and I was sorry that I didn't hand it to her.

    What if she thinks it was me who took it? What if someone is trying to play a mean trick on me? Will this result in a disciplinary? With my anxiety I always over analyse but I'm literally ripping my hair out tonight, I'm safe, my mum is watching me...... I feel so pathetic!
  2. userunknown

    userunknown New commenter

    Please don't worry, you have sent her a friendly message saying you found it and returned it, could be so many reasons for not handing it to her personally. I don't see a reason for her to complain, You could also mention this to the SLT, particularly the folder being left in your room.
  3. Sillow

    Sillow Lead commenter

    It could be she didn't remember putting it on your desk and assumed it had been taken. Or someone borrowed it and returned it to her by putting it on your desk. It sounds like it could have been there for a day or two before you tidied. It won't result in a disciplinary (or shouldn't). It's a simple case of something being lost and then found. I'm classic for paranoia so would probably be worrying like you but I really feel there is nothing to worry about. Log every comment the TA makes about your teaching. I'm assuming management know what she's like as you were off after an incident involving her. Just keep doing what you're doing and try to ignore her. Easy to say, I know. Thinking happy thoughts for you.
    midnight_angel likes this.
  4. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    Hi RV
    You sound very stressed out. Has your GP suggested taking some sick leave? Go back to your doctor and discuss your situation with them. We can offer sympathy, but that is all.

    I have known people in your situation try to brave it out when they would have done far better to take time off. Work related stress or something. Your doctor will recognise what to do. They have an awful lot of teachers like you come to them.

    Best wishes.
    notsonorthernlass likes this.
  5. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter

    Maybe it was a pupil who found it and put it on your desk? Or a TA? Or a cleaner?

    You have done nothing wrong, so just continue to act normally - life is too short to worry about small issues like this...Really! If your job is making you feel like this, as others say, perhaps consult your GP?
  6. missRV

    missRV Occasional commenter

    Thanks for the replies.

    I've got this TA lesson 1 so let's see how it goes. I'm debating going back to my GP but I have had a lot of time off and I am on an attendance target.
  7. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    If you are on some sort of attendance target, do I take it that you have self certified a lot of one or two day sick days? Sometimes it is better to have a longer period of sick leave to recover from stress or whatever, than to take too many odd days off. It helps everybody. You will get the time you need. Your school will be able to plan how it covers you and a cover teacher and the class will have more continuity. If you go into school and are not able to cope you could end up doing yourself harm.

    This sounds very serious to me and I really think you should go back to your GP. I know several teachers who have been in your position and they all had to have a bit of time off with medication and counselling.

    All the best.
    monicabilongame likes this.
  8. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter


  9. Sillow

    Sillow Lead commenter

    I hope things went okay today, @missRV .
  10. ishaw247

    ishaw247 New commenter

    You need to take time out again. No job is worth taking an overdose for! Ask your HR to give you the services of a councillor. Don't feel guilty everyone feels down sometimes. Take a step back and try to look at your situation from a different perspective. x
  11. TheoGriff

    TheoGriff Star commenter


    Let's think about this.

    You are not well. You know that. You feel, inside you, that you should go to see your GP.

    Yet you are also considering possibly destroying your health for the sake of your job!

    Your health and well-being are paramount. You can get another job, a different job, a new environment. You cannot replace your health,

    If it were a colleague at work who was telling you all this - what would you advise her to do?

    See the GP. Go on, you know that it makes sense.

    Best wishes

  12. missRV

    missRV Occasional commenter

    Thank you so much for your replies.
    School have been amazing with me, SLT know about my health problems and are fully supportive.
    I am currently changing GPs and I have recently gone back under the crisis team so I will make the appointment, most of my days off are self certified with 4 weeks last year being long term sickness, work keeps me going but if it is making things worse then that's no good for me or school.
  13. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Just wanted to say good luck and hope things go well.

    Amazed a TA goes to SLT like this... seems 'unprofessional' surely they have a line manager that they are supposed to raise concerns with.
  14. missRV

    missRV Occasional commenter

    Thank you.
    I work in a very small school.
  15. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    Check the absence policy. They can record disability related absences separately as a reasonable adjustment. Whilst you can still go through capability due to ill health it should give you some extra time.

    Whatever you do put your health before your job. The Rethink website would be useful.

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