1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

worried sick

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by chemistry2111, Jan 1, 2008.

  1. AckyWacky

    AckyWacky New commenter

    Hey everyone. I thought I'd have a wee look and see if you were all still around and was pleased to see that there were some posts last month. How are things with your dad Lalad? Casper, how are things with you? So good to see you are posting 2bgr8, Non, Casper and GTA. I haven't been on here often enough to keep up with everyone's news but I do think about you all lots. Many thanks for all those years of support and friendship, you are a special bunch [​IMG] Life is hectic for me. Mostly too much so. My mum has Alzheimer's and I make a 4 hour round trip to see her every weekend (she is a difficult woman)... coupled with full time teaching there are not many hours left for me! I'm up and down still. It still feels like Tom died 5 minutes ago and I permanently feel like part of me is missing. I keep busy and try not to dwell on the past... sometimes I don't manage that too well.I would love to hear your chat... to think we blethered on here most days!
    love, Acky x
  2. I have been out of touch too! Getting lazy (and disorganised) And you are right, it was a special bunch and we really ought to get it moving again.
    Well my other half is just about to arrive home from abroad and there's nothing ready to for him eat so I had better do a proper 'hello' later or I will be in the doghouse.... bertter see if something will defrost quick. Have been in the garden most of the evening, nice it's staying lighter later but I keep forgetting the time.... Only came in when I couldn't see the rose thorns when weeding, come to think of it if I were really safety conscious I'd have to use a boxful of blue plasters on my hands in the kitchen... good thing I can shove a box of something in the microwave rather than do a haute cuisine effort...
    xxx to all who's reading! (Including lurkers! thinking of you all who need it...)
  3. I am still around, I pop in and out of here and cookery. We did give each other lots of support didn't we? Hard to believe my lovely dad passed away nearly 4 years ago now. Where has the time gone? My mum is coping but she is difficult at times too. Just found out she has macular degeneration in her eyes which is apparently quite common with age. She is 80 in June. Had all on to persuade her to go for further tests though. Anyway she did go and it's not good news but they can treat her and slow things down. She is so fit and healthy would be a shame for her eyesight to go.
    One daughter has finished her degree and masters and is now working freelance, attending interviews, writing a novel and a play for the fringe and the other has just been offered a place at Birmingham for September. Next year we will be alone and that will feel weird especially as other half works away a lot. He is away for 3 weeks at the moment.
    Love to everyone and I do think of you all and how supportive you were to me back then xx
  4. AckyWacky

    AckyWacky New commenter

    [​IMG] Just like old times! I'm waiting for DQAcky to come home from uni. Wine is cooling and nice meal planned. Little Acky is taking a year out of uni and going back on a different course in September. Times have been tough for them both. Little Acky doesn't talk about his dad at all... don't know if that's healthy or not. He is so like his dad. Comforting for me. I am so lucky, they watch out for me all the time.
    It is so cold just now, I've not really ventured into the garden yet, Non. Maybe on Sunday. I,ve spent spare time at weekends pulling the old rotten shed down and putting a new one up. It has been quite emotional clearing things out! Tom's bike, the rusty oldpush mower he preferred to use... I'll never use them so no point in them rusting away.I plan to put some of that membrane down in the front garden just to make it more manageable for me.
    You are right GTA it is unbelievable how time passes. It is almost 3 years since I lost dad and Tom. Big hugs to you.I hope your mum is ok. My mum pulled a safe off the wall with her bare hands this week in a fit of temper! She overdoses on pills because she forgets when she's taken them... the care people insist they are locked away for her own safety. She's done everything she can this week to sabotage the system. I'm going to see her tomorrow and don't know what I'll face when I get there.
    Anyway, so good to hear from both of you. Take care, Acky x

  5. Lalad

    Lalad Star commenter

    Good to hear from all of you. Acky, my son has been trying to cope at uni with depression - at the moment we're not sure what he will do or whether he will pass his second year. My youngest is also struggling, although his problem is with anger. They have lost their father in a different way to Little Acky but I think it is so hard for boys in particular to lose their dad. I am trying to get counselling for them both. I don't know how you cope with full-time teaching - I am struggling and am only part-time.
    My parents are ok at the moment - I took my dad to ENT and they have tried cauterisation which hopefully will keep things manageable until his apporintment with the oncologist next month. I'm going to see them tomorrow but it's only a 20 minute round trip so will be thinking of you on your 4 hour marathon visiting your mum (and GTA with hers).
    Enjoy the weekend. Lalad x
  6. I am creaking! Been out sorting the veg patch most of the day. and crawling around checking my lilies as already some beautiful but fearsomely greedy scarlet red lily beetle has been chomping away at them. It wouldn't look so bad if it ate one whole leaf before starting another, but already the whole lot look like they've been riddled with a shotgun. Grrrr
    And as I planted out the little mini-cabbage plants I've been tenderly nuturing in the greenhouse, I could here the two fat pigeons talking about them from our big tree where they've made an untidy nest. (Feathers and bits dropping off all over the garden) And I know that brassicas are the favourite item for baby pigeons(won't go into more detail, it is quite....yukky...). So I got some of those 2Lplastic bottles chopped them in half and plonked them on top. Now the kitchen garden is safe but looks as if it's been invaded by mini-aliens....
    I hope the parent visits went ok, Acky and Lalad -well done for all your looking after them! and heloooo to everyone else. I do miss hearing everyone's news it has been nice with people popping in again. Shall have to stop now and go to bed can hardly think straight I am so weary. But it must be good for me all this exercise(I hope!)
    xxx from non

  7. And from me too. Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday.
  8. AckyWacky

    AckyWacky New commenter

    Today has been the first sunny day of my holiday. Go back a week tomorrow so it is almost over. It will be 3 years on Friday since Tom died.Bit sad.
    I hope you all have a good holiday. Take care, Acky x
  9. I clicked on this thread by chance and after reading the first post, found that I couldn't stop reading. Yesterday over 7 hours (I'm not joking) I read from the first post to the last and it was such a heartbreaking read that I couldn't stop. I cried (and sometimes laughed, especially when you bought the porche!) but in a way it was the most uplifting thing I'd ever read.
    It reminds me of those novels that are written through diary entries or letters, but of course, this is real life. It was inspirational, comforting and devastating all at the same time and I just wanted to say that although it started years ago, I am so sorry for all the losses, tragedies and hardship that the posters suffered.
    God bless.
  10. Hi everyone,
    Was thinking about everyone on here the other day, hope you are all okay. I forgot you have different holidays to us Acky - take care of yourself this week.
  11. AckyWacky

    AckyWacky New commenter

    How lovely of you to post, cg82. You deserve a medal for that marathon read! This was certainly a very special thread for many of us. I lost the ability to speak about things after Tom died and your post has made me think back to how I felt this time 3 years ago. I visited the cemetery today where Dad and Tom are buried side by side. After sorting flowers and cleaning graves I sat and shed a few tears. The sun was shining and it is the most beautiful spot. I will always miss them, every day, but it is getting easier. I have done a lot of thinking this holiday and feel I may have turned another corner. I'm going to have a quiet time to myself tomorrow then out at night as DQAcky is in Les Mis.
    Hi to the rest of you peeps, so good to see you are still around. What are you all up to? Non, my garden is in a desperate state. My neighbour is offering to sort it out on her week off next week... must be bad [​IMG]
    Love to everyone x
  12. What a lovely post, cg82. There has been a lot of heartache in this thread, but as you said, much truly uplifting stuff too. It would be an exaggeration to say it was always 'a problem shared is a problem halved' -but even the smallest chip off a massive nightmare is a huge relief, helps you keep things in perspective, find the smallest *** of light in near-total darkness. It has kept me sane, that's for sure (I think...)
    Acky I only realised your anniversary was coming up when I looked at the calendar for this time 3yrs ago, I was in Wales, watching the sea, remember thinking you were at the toughest of times imaginable... and still finding tiny but precious positive scraps to celebrate. Incredible, I thought. But the best thing to do...
    So I'm so glad to find you've been posting to say you're finding some peace of mind. You made the best of a truly impossible situation and surely that helped. All that hard work to keep hanging on and coping with your Mum now as well (not to mention DQA and LA)!!! Have a gentle day tomorrow, hope the best memories keep themselves towards the front where they belong. Will be thinking of you all xxxx
    P.S. I'd offer to give your neighbour a hand... but my R.H. one is playing up somewhat, I'm now finding the radiotherapy's one problem is making your fingers go as fat as sausages if you do too much in one go (ignore it and there's the threat of a permanent rubbery sleeve, armpit to wrist,plus semi-glove attachment, horrors!) I And so the L.H. one is barely coping even with the jungle outside the front door, and going doubly creaky in retaliation..
    So I have been spending quite a lot of time sitting in the conservatory with a cup of tea, making silly gestures at the passing neighbours (i.e. medical exercises) to try and ameliorate my wayward digits. (But with the rate of growth of greenery at the windows, nobody will see me soon,anyway)!
    love to all, visible and lurkers alike. xx
  13. Lalad

    Lalad Star commenter

    Hi Acky - missed this too, and I blame the age, not the specs!
    Apart from the shingles, I'm not doing too badly. Trying to get back on an even keel but it seems as though things keep happening to thwart me, so I just have to hold on to the fact that there always is light at the end of the tunnel - eventually! Sometimes I feel as though someone up there has a whole list of trials and tribulations that for some reason my name always comes up for.
    We are waiting for A-level and GCSE results this week and nexr, and my older son has just done his retakes so will know soon whether he had to repeat a year. Otherwise my daughter is fine - she's just come back from abroad and has now gone off to France before starting an internship in Spain - they keep you busy, don't they?
    Lalad x
  14. AckyWacky

    AckyWacky New commenter

    They certainly do keep you busy, Lalad. Fingers and eyes crossed for some good exam results!
    I started back at school today. I was just musing with DQAcky that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be (full of dread yesterday). She thinks that dreading every day should be my new approach... that way every day will be a pleasant surprise. I'm not sure about that logic [​IMG]
    Hello to everyone else x
  15. Hi everyone, nice to see some old faces. It will be 4 years on the 28th since dad died. Gosh the time flies. This time of year is always full of memories due to the long summer I was lucky to have with him before he went.
    It will be lonely here in September, big girl has a job in London now and little girl is going to Birmingham uni. Hubby works away alot so goodness knows what I will do! Try and keep busy I expect.
  16. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    Hi just happened to pop into TES and see that people are posting- it's coming up for four years since Mike died on 31st Dec. It's amazing where time has gone...and how long ths thread has been going
    Reading back though brings back so many memories for me and there's my thread of "not the news we wanted.." which has become the only account I have of when Mike was ill. Too many tears flow when I read it

    Things have changed again for me even from my last post on there...but I'm in a good place.
    One more step along the way we go...
    Warmest wishes to you all
  17. Salsera, I think of you often, you and I have things in common. How nice to know that you are in a good place, and much love to you.
  18. Lalad

    Lalad Star commenter

    I took my Dad for his check up today - he has another cancerous growth just above his eye, which has been causing him some pain. The options we have been given are to leave things as they are in the knowledge that things will obviously deteriorate, or for them to operate to remove his right eye and cut away the surrounding tissue and part of his cheekbone to be sure that all of the cancerous cells are removed...but he is 87 and has a heart condition so there are risks. On the other hand I can't bear the thought of him at his age having to go through what my brother endured, and it is clear that if he doesn't have the op the cancer will spread and be very painful. . I tried to talk to him about it but he is very confused at the moment due to a UTI so wasn't making much sense. Feeling very down about it all at right now.
    Lalad x
  19. casper

    casper New commenter

    Lalad, sorry to read this. So difficult for you all. Thinking of you.

    casper xx
  20. I really feel for you chemistry.
    Take one day at a time and please try your best not to imagine the worst case scenario.
    Just because you are in a difficult situation it doesn't mean you need to suffer / worry yourself sick: look after yourself: exercise, eat well, have some "me" time, maybe try relaxation.... spend some quality time with your husband and wait to see what the future brings. It may not be as bad as you think.
    I don't know if you are religious but I will say a little prayer for you.

Share This Page