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Worried sick and don't know what to do!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by daffodilval, Jul 31, 2011.

  1. My mum is in a care home and has taken ill overnight, she is not at all well, the care home is waiting for the GP to see her and maybe admitted back into hospital..The thing is, my brother and myself are mums main carers but he is in Grease till friday..(a well earned rest).. do i infrom him now or wait untill the GP has assessed mum???
    I am worried sick, both of us have always been there for her and see her everyday, my brother has done so much for her and I really don't know what do do.
    (I also have a sister who lives in Canada and another brother wo lives 200 miles away)
     
  2. My mum is in a care home and has taken ill overnight, she is not at all well, the care home is waiting for the GP to see her and maybe admitted back into hospital..The thing is, my brother and myself are mums main carers but he is in Grease till friday..(a well earned rest).. do i infrom him now or wait untill the GP has assessed mum???
    I am worried sick, both of us have always been there for her and see her everyday, my brother has done so much for her and I really don't know what do do.
    (I also have a sister who lives in Canada and another brother wo lives 200 miles away)
     
  3. catmother

    catmother Lead commenter

    Difficult one. I understand that you might not want to worry him as he is on holiday but my gut feeling is that if your mum was seriously ill,your bother might irrationally blame you for you for not telling him as soon as. Can you contact him to let him know what's happening and tell him you will phone again once you know more?
     
  4. Crystalsecrets

    Crystalsecrets New commenter

    My thinking would be that if you contact your brother now (theone on holiday)he is going to worry now and will ask lots of questions you can't answer yet. Wait until the GP has been then you can give him all the information and answer any questions your brother is likey to ask.
    I hope it all turns out for the best and wish your mum a speedy recovery.
     
  5. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    Contact brother who lives 200 miles away. Do NOT contact brother in Greece until you have a clearer picture as to what is happening.
     
  6. Poppy_Red

    Poppy_Red New commenter

    Personally I would wait until the GP has assessed your mum, as that way you will have more information to give your brother. If you got in touch now he would be asking questions so better to wait until you can answer them I think. x
     
  7. catmother

    catmother Lead commenter

    Sorry,I had read it as your mum had been admitted to hospital. If she's still in care home and waiting for GP,just tell bother once she has seen doctor.
     
  8. Good advice!

    Hope your Mum is ok.
     
  9. Thanks, your answers are reasurring, my brother and I have been visitng alternate days and ALWAYS update each other after visiting or if either of has has spoken to doctors/nurses etc.
    I have a really bad gut feeling that mum won't recover from this.
     
  10. catmother

    catmother Lead commenter

    In that case,I'm back thinking that you should tell him as soon as,to prepare him. He might blame you if you wait too long.
     
  11. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I agree with the earlier posters - wait until you've got some solid medical information to go on, and in the meantime put your brother 200 miles away on standby. Let's be honest, where GPs and hospitals are concerned it could be a bit longer before you get a clear picture, so let your brother who's abroad enjoy as much of his holiday as he can before you drop any bad news on him, and insist that your other siblings follow suit. I face a similar situation to you in the coming months, and know there's every possibility that I might not be immediately on hand when things start getting serious, but it's simply not feasible to organise everybody in the right place and the right time for the unpredictable. Life has to go on as normally as possible, and we can only do our best - it sounds to me like you're doing all you can.
     
  12. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I wouldn't presume to contradict you on this, but I had the same situation once when my Dad contracted pneumonia and he did recover. Take things as you find them - it'a all you can do. Fingers crossed for all of you.
     
  13. Ok, mum has been seen by GP now and he is admitting her to hospital, i rang my brother and put him in the picture but told him not to panic and I will be intouch with more info as soon as I know which could be hours away yet. I am going with mum from the home to the hosptal now and will be with her all the way...
    I will ring the other 2 as soon as I know any more.
    Thanks very much for all your support xxx
     
  14. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    Hope mum will be okay, val. Thinking of you. x
     
  15. Replied on pregnancy. All the best. Hopefully the hospital can make your mum comfortable and start her recovery. x
     
  16. If she does deteriorate, some airlines will put you on the first flight out at no extra charge. Make sure your brother checks his options if he does have to return at short notice (here's hoping it won't come to that).
     
  17. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Old women can be incredibly tough. She may well come through this although you fear the worst.
    Look after yourself too.
     
  18. Hope the hospital are able to help your mum. As Lindenlea has just said, take care of yourself.
     
  19. Thanks everyone.
    Just back from the hospital, mum has been assessed and probably has an infection, drip on its way up and bloods taken. She is comfortable and a bit more brighter, brother totally informed and I feel much better about it, its such a horrible situation to be in, but I am more relaxed now, sorry for the earlier panic and thanks again for all your support x
     
  20. Glad that you know what's going on, and that your mum is coping ok. Hope you can get some rest tonight.
     

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