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Worried I'm useless

Discussion in 'Personal' started by knickersinatwist, Nov 22, 2009.

  1. I don't know why but I constantly worry that I am useless teacher. I dread getting observed and being 'found out'. I have no evidence really to back up my thoughts. There are obviously a few kids I struggle with, but they are the ones everyone struggles with. I worry my behaviour management is awful - but my worst class all that can be said is that I sometimes struggle to get them silent so I can talk to them. They all stay in their seats and complete all the work I ask of them. I really enjoy teaching so I don't know why I feel like this. I work hard - I'm up to date with marking, planning etc. Sometimes I think my thoughts are really irrational, then other times I actually believe it is true. Anybody else feel like this? Any suggestions? Thanks :(
     
  2. I don't know why but I constantly worry that I am useless teacher. I dread getting observed and being 'found out'. I have no evidence really to back up my thoughts. There are obviously a few kids I struggle with, but they are the ones everyone struggles with. I worry my behaviour management is awful - but my worst class all that can be said is that I sometimes struggle to get them silent so I can talk to them. They all stay in their seats and complete all the work I ask of them. I really enjoy teaching so I don't know why I feel like this. I work hard - I'm up to date with marking, planning etc. Sometimes I think my thoughts are really irrational, then other times I actually believe it is true. Anybody else feel like this? Any suggestions? Thanks :(
     
  3. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    I have a friend who could have writte your post.
    She arranged to observe a couple of other teachers who had a reputation as having strong behaviour management. She was surprised to see the same things going on in their classrooms that caused her so much worry in hers.
    The problem in teaching in that we all operate in a vacuum and think that everyone else is perfect. If you get out there and look at what is going on for others you will probably feel a lot better.
     
  4. This is SO me!! I worry constantly about being 'found out' even though I seem to be quite well regarded at work and there hasn't really been any evidence to the contrary. On talking about this to a few colleagues it seems they all feel the same too, even though in quite high up positions who I think are super competent.
    You should google 'imposter syndrome' as apparently this 'fear' is quite common and lots of people experience it; usually people in quite responsible jobs. I couldn't believe it when I read about it!
     
  5. even those
     
  6. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Yes I feel like that too. I have to constanly reason with myself, say things to myself like, well, I can carry on until they find out, and, there are people who might be worse than me, and other things that make it possible to continue daily...
    recently under great stress and observation, I had to remind myself that I used to be a competent person, have written things for national agencies, run all sorts of projects, groups, clubs, activities, and that it is only since coming back into teaching that I have lost my confidence...
     
  7. I know how everyone feels. I got promoted and that made it even worse. I keep wondering if everyone just acts that they are competent, but that's something I don't buy into, so I then think maybe because I'm being genuine and not acting, they can all see it!
    I certainly look at adults around me and wonder how they all seem so confident and sure, while I don't. I feel about 12 years old most of the time, despite years of experience and a family of my own!
    Gawd, I sound paranoid...please don't lock me up, I'm harmless!!!
     
  8. In a nutshell welcome to teaching. We all go through these dips in confidence from time to time. These are made more regular if we work in unsupportive schools.
     
  9. Thanks for all your replies. I don't feel so odd now. I try to look at it in a positive way - that my worrying at least means I care whether I'm a good teacher or not. I do sit working sometimes and I can here the racket other classes are making. I also sometimes think about waterloo road (not a good comparison I know) - but I see the poor 'teachers' on there and no I am a million miles from that! I will definitely look up that imposter thing.
     
  10. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    I have been super competent and whizzy-brilliant in some schools I've taught in, and then have had faults 'found' in another school.
    Same me in each case (bit less confident after working in the latter)
    Similar kids.
    Similar catchment with similar social problems
    .

    ..but different HTs.
    hmmmm

     
  11. It's a poxy self-esteem thing. I was sure after I had my first baby that someone would find me out for being a cr*ap mother. A pretendy grown-up.
     
  12. [​IMG]
    How did you get over it, Lily?
     
  13. This helps me when I get really bad...
    'Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.'



     
  14. Except that the ones who have power over your job do matter. Unfortunately. [​IMG]
     
  15. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    So sorry, but I was thinking that too [​IMG]
     
  16. No they don't.
    Unless you're in special measures or competence procedures. [​IMG]

     
  17. As long as you're in a minority of one who thinks you're rubbish, they can't do you for competency!
     
  18. Samjam1

    Samjam1 New commenter

    Nothing matters much and most things don't matter at all. My dad told me that, and sometimes I find it a comfort.
     
  19. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    Spent most of my career waiting for someone to find me out! Most decent teachers doubt themselves from time to time, the ones who bang on about how great they are usually turn out to be full of hot air (to use the TES approved turn of phrase).
     
  20. I think we all feel like this! I am good friends with a retired headteacher, who was adored by children and parents in her time and ran a great school. She has told me she always worried that she would be found out - as the head - as being useless. She was a successful head for 10 years and said she was always worried that someone would "find her out", as not being up to the mark.
    I have a job interview tomorrow morning and despite being an experienced and confident primary teacher who really enjoys the job, I am terrified that the new school will think I'm awful and just laugh me out of the classroom. Illogical, but then we all feel like this! I think it is because most teachers are perfectionists - we want and expect the best not only of others, but of ourselves too!

     

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