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Workplace Relationships

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by mcomm, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. Hello, this is my first post on here. Please could anyone advise on any 'rules' regarding teachers having relationships with parents? The parent is separated from their partner, and the teacher doesn't (and is unlikely to) teach their child. The parent is also a member of school staff.
    Any knowledge on this would be greatly received.

    Regards,
    Mike
     
  2. Hello, this is my first post on here. Please could anyone advise on any 'rules' regarding teachers having relationships with parents? The parent is separated from their partner, and the teacher doesn't (and is unlikely to) teach their child. The parent is also a member of school staff.
    Any knowledge on this would be greatly received.

    Regards,
    Mike
     
  3. FollyFairy

    FollyFairy Occasional commenter

    I am not sure that there any 'rules' though some may accuse you of being unprofessional... http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/other_subjects/106748-teachers-dating-parents-of-children-at-school/AllOnOnePage
    however, often teachers teach their own kids or kids of friends etc. and it is not a big deal, but, is the child involved happy about the situation? Is s/he older enough to understand? Can you talk to them about it? It may cause them some embarrassment or they may be cool about it... lots of people meet their partners at places of work, why should teachers be any different, as long as you professional whilst at work?
     
  4. grrmummy

    grrmummy New commenter

    People meet their partners at work all the time but in my opinion there are some rules of thumb that should be observed by all professionals working with children.Put simply the professional duty of care towards a child should take precedence over personal self interest. If a teacher strikes up a relationship with a parent of a child they teach (and who they otherwise would not have met) then in my opinion this would be unprofessional.This is not the same situation as when a teacher teaches their own child - or indeed that of their partner if the relationship has already been established through other social means.
    the sad fact is that teachers are vulnerable to allegations of abuse, particularly when, relationships have been conducted in secret and especially when the child has been an active part of the secrecy. Any teacher that encourages a child to keep a secret is on dodgy ground! Thankfully the scenario you describe does not appear to fall into such a category.
    I think this is a very grey area within the teaching profession and as a social worker this both suprises and worries me. This is because I am trained to think the unthinkable. But at the end of the day the guidance is there to protect teachers from suspicion or allegation in much the same way as in other professions such as social work or nursing.And if a direct duty of care exists I think teachers would be well advised to follow it. After all relationships do break down...
     
  5. Thank you for your thoughts and comments. The relationship is still in the VERY early days, and the children don't yet know. As employees of the school (as well as a parent) we are considering telling the Headteacher, as we both want to be as transparent as possible - for the reasons stated by the above post. One of the reasons for the children not yet knowing, is that we dont want them to be keeping any secrets. We both accept that the relationship may be frowned upon, and accept the possibility of ending the relationship before it goes too far. It's tricky, because if it was simply 2 colleagues there would be no issue, it's the fact that one of the colleagues is also a parent.

    Thank you once again, and I welcome any more thoughts on this.

    Regards,
    Mike
     
  6. grrmummy

    grrmummy New commenter

    I would certainly agree that it would be appropriate to have a chat with the HT - what is really important is openess (albeit that ithe relationship can still remain dicrete). The HT knows you and will only be concerned about any professional conflict of interest ithat could arsie i.e. if a teacher has a direct rather than indirect duty of care towards a child. It might also be a good idea to have a look at the 2009 DCSF document re Guidance for safer Working practices for adults who work with children and young people in educational establishments. It is only guidance but similar guidance is issued to other professional groups who work with CYP. hope all goes well for you both
     
  7. teachers relation with the parents with is so important with the parents for child futures, if parents get separated then a teacher can talk to that parent where child live.
     
  8. bigfatgit

    bigfatgit New commenter



    The above post is also available in English
     

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