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Workplace Bullying

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by WorkBully, Dec 11, 2011.

  1. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

  2. Just read it and now I'm OMGing and crying ...how dare they make me or anyone else feel this way? people think I'm pretending to be a martyr when I say I feel guilty for all those I've left behind, especially when I know my leaving has made things harder for them!
     
  3. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

    I don't know whether it's a comfort or a source of further distress to know your 'bonkersness' is a recognised injury as a consequence of your bullying. Once I got over the shock of realising just how serious an injury it is considered to be, I found it a sort of comfort to know that it wasn't just me' and that the symptoms are well known and have a name. This is what I have a disability declaration for!
    It's a serious psychological injury. If you are realising that you are suffering from some of these symptoms, you could see your doctor. There is treatment that can help (mine was a combination of meds and CBT). It does get better with time, though it has taken me ages. I still have residula problems, 4 years later.
     
  4. GL you are an inspiration. Your capacity for still caring is amazing, thank you for always responding and I think I will go and see my doctor. xx
     
  5. I second what cocoa brown says. I feel there is hope when I see GL being strong on these boards. I'm still in a very dark place in a very damaged state taking lots of meds and having CBT. Thanks for that link GL I hadn't seen that before. Some days I think I'm making progress, other days I feel I'm back to square one. I know it's going to be a long haul but I think I'll get there, GL has given me hope.
     
  6. I thought that might have been the reason ;-)

    I hope I didn't sound hostile towards you earlier! I'm one of these people with a logical brain which sometimes says or writes exactly what I'm thinking which is often in general terms, but sometimes sounds rude!

    My intention was to support GL and explain the reasons for the cynicism in general (due to being treated badly in the last 2 years), rather than to knock a genuine campaigner. I'll have a look at your website.

    Btw, have you or anyone else on here seen an antibullying website called kickbully.com. I found it both entertaining and informative? What do you think of it?
     
  7. snowstorm

    snowstorm New commenter

    I too, have been so badly damaged by what happened to me over a period of several years whivh culmunated in me losing the job I trained hard for and which I believed was a career for life.
    I never thought this would happen to me, not even in my worst nightmares; there are some evil wicked wicked individuals around who will stop at nothing to drive someone out of their employ and make them lose their career.
    There are sources of re-dress out there, but one needs a will of steel and the financial resources to fight the fight.
    I have just been awarded DLA because I have difficulty looking after myself and going out on my own, even to the supermarket or down into my garden.
    Some posters may remember me as someone who was brave (or even mad) enough to dance live on national tv 3 years ago to celebrate Madonna's bithday, invite the tv cameras into my home, appear in an advertising campaign in a Sunday mag for a beauty product, make a radio advert to promote this beauty product, take on a drving-challenge to raise funds for cancer-care and model for a feature in Woman's Own mag.
    I'm now a shadow of my former self; am virtually reclusive; I'm no longer that vibrant lively individual I used to be.
    However, I'm still feeling the fear and carrying on anyway......
    I will not let the bullies win.....


     
  8. sorry. yes I am angry and feeling vulnerable. I shouldn't have reacted as I did. my story will be the same as everyone else's. it's nearly midnight, I have about another 1 1/2 hours work to do and I just physically can't find the time to research all these links. my union rep whilst kind and supportive just cant seem to do what I need. I'd hoped for a magic bullet but there isn't one is there? I'll try to read up over christmas but its just too much to cope with now.
     
  9. snowstorm

    snowstorm New commenter

    wooseywoo
    You are feeling extremely sensitive and vulnerable right now and your emotions are understandable; it can be terrifying experiencing feelings that one doesn't understand and when one is unable to comprehend other people's behaviour.
    When you are up to it, why don't you start your own thread on the difficulties you are facing; so many of us have been/are where you are right now.
    You will find alot of support on here.
    Take care
    SSx
     
  10. wooseywoo, your comment "it's nearly midnight and I still have another 1 1/2 hours work to do" really stuck a chord with me. I found as I became ill it took me longer and longer to do things, I became more and more tired and so the downward spiral continued. I endured this for several months thinking it was my fault and that I was a terrible teacher. Finally I saw my GP who put me on medication (which probably saved my life) I was desperate not to be signed off work as I saw that as admitting defeat. I continued for another 5 months until an incident that proved to be the final straw I returned to the doctor and broke down, she signed me off four for weeks on the spot but told me that she would continue to sign me off for as longs it took, which she continues to do (7 months so far). She has also stated clearly on my medical certificates that I am unfit for work due to Depression caused by bullying at work. I found it very hard to accept at first and found I could not let go of work. I continued to plan and make resources almost obsessively. It took another four months to "let go" which is the point at which I finally made some progress in my recovery.

    The point I'm trying, rather long windedly, to make is that you MUST put your health above all else.
     
  11. My reply too wooseywoo above gives some background to the position I find myself in.

    There seems to be the opinion that it is up to the unions to tackle this. I strongly feel the point is being missed here. The fault is not with the unions it is with the employers. They have the policies (dignity at work, whistle blowing etc, etc) and not to put too finer point on it they are a waste of paper. They have the law, as GL has already stated. However what they continue to do is wiggle and squirm their way out of their responsibilities. They protect the bully (and not necessary just heads but anyone from the top down) and hope the victim will just go away because it is too damn hard and stressful to put in a grievance.

    Everyone I have spoken to clinical psychologist, GP, regional union, ACAS, staff care service, Occupational Health Doctor, County HR are appalled at what has happened to me. So why I am still here 2 years after first raising concerns and still on extended sick leave with NO ONE taking responsibility and resolving this situation?

    Why have I not resigned and cut my losses, I ask myself the same question frequently. The answer is because what is happening to me is WRONG. I'm not well enough to fight it at the moment but I hope I will be sometime. I doubt I'll ever teach again, this has effectively destroyed my career among other things and the experience has left an exceptional bitter taste in my mouth regarding education.
     
  12. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

    You are so right, virg. The fault is definitely with the employers. They do indeed wriggle out of responsibility for tackling bullying and it's because they can.
    The unions do have to take responsibility for allowing bullying to go on unchecked when the law is firmly on the side of the victims. Teachers pay their subs to unions for legal support but the advice members are given is often inadequate to tackle the problem effectively. Unions will take personal injury cases to court for victims, but that is only a fragment of the action they could be taking and not appropriate for many situations, anyway.
    I can go to my specialist lawyer, ask him a specifc question and be told: "OK. The law is .... so you need to do x,y and z. Have you heard of this particular thing? No? Well the way you go about it is... " This contrasts starkly with the response of my union's solicitor, who said "Er...I don't know..." and didn't bother to find out when I asked a specific question about protection if I whistle-blew something. I am lucky that I can afford to pay a specialist. Not all teachers are so fortunate and have no choice but to rely on their unions. Unions promise "the best legal support" in their small print but do not always deliver.
    This illustrates the sort of thing I mean when I say that I blame unions for lack of action.
    I am sorry you are feeling so awful, yirg. There ARE things you could do, both legally and via the Industrial Injury route, if you want to. You are right about the cover-ups coming from the very top, if necessary: a Director of Education him/herself colluded in covering up mine.
     
  13. Rockchick2112

    Rockchick2112 New commenter

    I think a change in the law is definitely needed to provide victims of workplace bullying with more protection. However, at the moment, the government appears to be seeking to make it even easier for bosses to bully their staff through extending the length of time before someone can bring a case for unfair dismissal to two years. I have been bullied by workplace management (including in a school) and this has tended to be when I've been on temporary contracts, where it's a lot easier for a bully to make the victim's life a misery and then kick the person out without any comeback. Unfortunately quite a lot of posts in schools seem to be on a temporary basis, resulting in less protection for staff. When I was bullied it normally took place in the bully's office without any witnesses- usually the bully took the opportunity to subject me to a barrage of criticism (much of it unwarranted) before announcing that I wouldn't be kept on. I am not sure how it might be possible to get evidence of the bully's behaviour in these kinds of situations, unless it was legal to use a hidden voice recorder? To add insult to injury, when I've tried to get other jobs I've either discovered that the bully has written an unfavourable reference or does not want to provide a reference at all. In addition to what you're already doing, perhaps you could get up a petition against workplace bullying?
     

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