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Working full time and being a carer?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by daffodilval, May 21, 2011.

  1. Hi, how do you do it?
    My lovely elderly mum has been through the mill recently, but now she is back home from hospital and, she is very limited in her mobility and can just about shuffle around the room with a frame, she stayed in a rehabilitation home for 3 weeks following a hip replacement where she managed to make her own sandwiches or toast, however, now back home, she can hardly do anything for herself.
    Both my brother and I work full-time but do what we can for mum, when we can, i shop, clean, cook and shower her (she refuses help from outside agencies), brother does all the the rest, DIY, home maintanance etc , we make a great team..
    We both have families of our own too.
    Although, i love my mum to bits and care about her deeply, I am finding it all very exhausting, as I see her every other night, after work, and stay about 2-3 hrs, brother does the same on the alternative night...I can not afford to go part time.
    Sorry for the rant, my much needed wine has made me open up..
     
  2. You can't.
    You must look at getting professional carers to do the job, and not feel guilty about it.
    An assessment will determine how much she must pay and how much is paid by the state.

     
  3. btw - I mean carers in the own home in the first instance. This works for us. We have recently upped the amount of care.
    You don't have to put them in a home immediately. Perhaps never.
     
  4. CQ, mum had an assessment last week (i was at work), she told them she can do everything with a bit of help from us.
     
  5. Was she alone when the assessment was done? She should not have been.
     
  6. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    Dear Val, I typed a lengthy reply about attendance allowance and carer support, then reread your post and spotted this:
    Very, very difficult. I would definitely look into applying for attendance allowance (she should at least be entitled to the lower amount), as this would help to meet the cost of say, a professional cleaner and/or a laundry service. Tell her all the posh people have cleaners and subscribe to a laundry service! I would if I had the cash, believe you me.
    This would take some of the pressure off you and your brother.
     
  7. Yep, it was a follow up from the home she had recently been discharged from, apparently they told her they were going to 'pop' in and see how she was getting long.
     
  8. manashee, thankyou, I will, we are also looking in to a meal delivery service, not meals on wheels, but a posher one, with a good choice of foods, so at least she will get one decent meal a day, i have left her with the info, hopefully, she will like it.
     
  9. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    All the best with the situation, Val. It's so, so hard and I really feel for you.
    The meal delivery service is a great idea.
     

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