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Work Related Anxiety & Stress

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by MLR36, Dec 8, 2016.

  1. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Unfortunately the OP has said s/he is not able to do anything other than return @frangipani123

    So tutoring, supply or leaving isn't an option.

    I think counselling is perhaps the only way to help cope with the feelings. It's one thing to be miserable at work but to believe one has no other options in life? That's the biggest blow. Feeling one has no choice in the matter.

    Very sad.

    Good luck with it all. Schools 2016 are testing arenas. In more ways than one.
    sabrinakat likes this.
  2. JeannieMc

    JeannieMc New commenter

    You will have to leave eventually.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  3. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    As others have said, leaving is your best option, but one that isn't open to unless another school advertise and appoint you. I understand that entirely and that you are effectively trapped for a while yet.

    I'm the world's worst at delegating, but you know what? Your school has managed while you have been off, so other people clearly can do all that work you thought they couldn't or wouldn't. (Granted possibly not in the way you'd have done it, and in some cases maybe not as well as you would, but it is still done.) You don't need to nip back in and take it all back on yourself again.Your full pay and conditions should start the moment you arrive back and all your rights as an employee. Make sure you take full advantage of this phased return.

    There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just sometimes a bit of a bumpy journey towards it. You will get there and you will be ok again.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  4. drek

    drek Lead commenter

    I apologise if I got the wrong end of the stick.

    WRS anxiety is a serious condition and that's the one you need to be treating right now.

    Rest well and try not to think of work at all. It made you sick and you want to get better.

    Think of how you want to spend Christmas and New Year. And make it as special and wonderful as you always do.

    Season's greetings and get well soon. Everything else will follow.
    MLR36 and Abcmsaj like this.
  5. diamondjane

    diamondjane Occasional commenter

    Oh my goodness @MLR36 , that made difficult reading for myself and anyone else who is in, or has been in, that situation. I felt myself transported back to 2014 when it was happening to me.
    You have taken the first step by going to the doctor, getting some treatment and staying off work. You need to take as much time as you can before you head back to work. My first tentative meeting about going back sent me spiralling into anxiety again and I was on the phone to the doctor as soon as I got home. That was 3 months after I had been signed off with WRS. It was eventually 7 months when I began my phased return. You have to get your health right before you go back in order to be able to manage when you do go back, if that makes sense.
    Once you get back to work, you will need to look at it differently or it will all happen again, especially if you are not fully recovered. (It would be like trying to run again before a broken leg is properly mended). You will probably also have to leave that school, but maybe not education altogether. If you need the money, that is probably a scary thing to think about right now.
    Longer term, you will get through this. You will see things differently and you may change much that you currently think is a priority. I know I have.
    I wish you well.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  6. squashua

    squashua Occasional commenter

    I have a similar story to you, also bullied by my HT. Similarly trapped financially (though also wanted to stay at the school because of my friendships at the school - most staff are lovely). I took it all the way to an employment tribunal, after raising a grievance with the council (which largely upheld my complaints but the head wouldn't accept it) and won two aspects, including victimisation. Now signed off long-term again.

    I would not change most of what I have done, because I had no option about most of it and I couldn't not fight back.

    But what I would say is that the situation has regularly nearly broken me and may still do so. So if you get a chance to escape, on your terms, do it.
  7. mazpaz

    mazpaz Occasional commenter

    Hi - I too can identify with much of what you are saying. I too was the breadwinner and need to find a way of paying the bills. I want to get away from teaching but all I am getting is offers followed by more offers of teaching. I suppose what I am saying is that if your experience matches mine I could be working every day of the week if I wanted to. I have had nine job opportunities offered just in the last 7 days. I really don't want to end up back in a school - I am struggling mentally having just got myself to realise and accept I should turn away from teaching and then that's all I get offered. But there are loads of opportunities to earn and you could just supply until you got yourself back on track. There appears to be a real shortage of teachers (and perhaps not surprising given the current working conditions.) The last supply agency who rang me today said they were desperate and couldn't fill all the openings for Jan. There are options for you and it may be to leave your current situation, with a negotiated reference and perhaps a settlement agreement to also give you that breathing space. Anyway good luck and remember to give yourself the best chance to recover - if you go down, your family does too. X Mazpaz
    Mrsmumbles and grumpydogwoman like this.
  8. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    Very powerful and moving post. Have to say, though, that unless the bully boy head is going anyway, you NEED to. Swap sector. tutor from home. Live cheaper. Teaching is utterly bluggered at the moment and will need to be fully funded and overhauled before it gets better. Think broader, smarter, and consider self employment. Sod that madhouse of a school.

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