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Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by Phasmid, Mar 8, 2004.
Although Smith has no butt, he does his UTMOST to be hip.
It is of the UPMOST importance to him and he shops in all the hippest shops.
His favourite dance tune is Serena Ryder's STOMPA. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz7jCY1cpHk
His wife was up the SPOUT and he wanted all his family to be dressed as fashionably as possible.
He rather let the side down however by wearing his grotty old SPORT shirt.
With a gravy SPOT on the collar
Smith thought his ensemble was totally POSH.
Till his wife dragged him around the clothes SHOPS in an attempt to bring him into the 21st century.
During this trip they were passing a pub and the smell of HOPS was so strong Smith felt compelled to enter.
After a few pints, he ordered a SHOT of tequila.
This gave him enough confidence to approach the barmaid that he considered to be rather HOT.
"HOW would you like to join us in a threesome tonight?" he asked drunkenly.
"How would you like me to SHOW you the door?" replied the barkeep.
"I expect your wife would like to WASH her hands of you, you ugly creep?" the barmaid yelled slapping his face.
"I WISH you a lifetime of misery, you slime bag!" she continued
"Although, I must admit, you have a certain hopeless charm about you," she said with a sultry HISS.
She moved a little closer, leaving him feeling as if HIS personal space was being most definitely invaded.
"SIT on my knee!" she suddenly commanded.
He immediately SAT, but was not feeling entirely comfortable with the situation
"Can I have something to EAT please?" he asked timidly not enjoying the feel of her huge varicose vein throbbing into his bottom.