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Withdrawn from a job due to poor reference. Unemployed again..

Discussion in 'Personal' started by suertesamp, Nov 28, 2018.

  1. suertesamp

    suertesamp New commenter

    I recently got offered a TA position in a secondary just before being laid off my previous job. My line manager from my old job which was an an office made negative comments on my reference such as "doesn't respond well to management" and "struggles with following instructions". These seem to be spiteful comments as I was not once given any warnings or disciplinary for any of this.
    Now, I am unemployed with nothing lined up, and with references like that, how am I going to find work again? I am at the end of my tether, and extremely anxious for the future.
    I am in a cycle of getting a job, working for a few months then being let go/forced to quit. It's got to the point where I regret going to university as I have not been able to find a decent job since then. At some point, I may have to take my own life, because I know I do not have a bright future ahead of me. The depression is too much, and even when I am in work, I am unhappy. My partner wants to get married and have children, and I have told her I cannot provide her with either of this. There will almost certainly come the day when she will say enough is enough and she will realise she's wasting her time.
  2. curlcurlcurl

    curlcurlcurl Occasional commenter

    I urge you to contact the education support partnership. Particularly if you feel there’s none in your life you can confide in with this.

    08000 562 561


    They are available 24 hours a day. I do hope you find a way out of this darkness.
    needabreak and chelsea2 like this.
  3. hs9981

    hs9981 Established commenter

    If you keep getting 'let go', there is a reason for this. Find that reason and fix it.
  4. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    Yes. Easy to say, hs9981.

    Suer, please think of yourself and your family and get the help that will help you all without causing vveryone the everlasting heart ache and guilt that suicide causes.

    My first teaching job ended with an overwhelming sense of failure and shame. That was years ago and I'm still embarrassed by it. But to have ended my life because of iit would only have caused grief to my family.
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2018
    chelsea2 likes this.
  5. TES_carll

    TES_carll Moderator Staff Member

    @suertesamp , if you would like immediate help, your best option is to ring 999. If you want emotional support, please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free from any phone).
    chelsea2, nizebaby and FrankWolley like this.
  6. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    As well as agreeing with the good advice above, can I suggest working out a strategy where you do either some voluntary work (for a while) and/or another job (perhaps p/t) that will give you a couple of new references you can use to get the post you really want (as a TA or whatever). It might take a few months, but I do think it might offer you a way out of this situation.

    Good luck.
    chelsea2, SundaeTrifle and nizebaby like this.
  7. silkywave

    silkywave Lead commenter

    @suertesamp. Really sad to read your post. It is a really difficult time when you leave University and try to get a job and a rung on a ladder. At uni there are people around you and you have friends who disappear off to find their own way, when you all leave.
    I notice your post was written late at night. Always a bad time for self analysis. Remember that because you will feel at your lowest then and be very hard on youself. Keep chatting on here. There are plenty of posters who have the time to listen and maybe help.
    Being a TA seems to me to be a very difficult job. I thought references were no longer required as they are so unreliable and a probationary time for both parties to see if they can do the job is acceptable.
    You are trying to join a profession (Education) that generally does not care about staff retention. Maybe you have a case for wrongful dismissal?
    I agree with @Frank Wolley. Get out and do something in voluntary work, part-time or seasonal. Try posting as well on workplace dilemmas. Post again soon.
    chelsea2 and InkyP like this.
  8. serenitypolly41

    serenitypolly41 Occasional commenter

    How long were you in your office job for? Did you have any probation period to pass and was any such thing mentioned in your contract? Did you ever have a work review and was anything mentioned to you then? If not then really they need to answer to why they never said anything to you at such crucial points.

    I read somewhere else that you worked as a Cover Supervisor. So was this office job after that?
  9. suertesamp

    suertesamp New commenter

    The office job was after, yes. I had a 6 month probation with the office job and I didn't get to the end. The manager told me I was not being dismissed, our department was replaced.
  10. serenitypolly41

    serenitypolly41 Occasional commenter

    So why are they making things difficult for you now? That's not fair. Having the department replaced shouldn't be impinging on you. I think you need further help than what can be given here. Have you tried Citizens Advice?

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