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Why little Jimmy can't come to school!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ilovesooty, Jan 19, 2004.

  1. We had one which had to be translated from an EAL parent, she had not sent little Jimmy or his brother as she was worried they would be abducted for body parts.

    As far as I know they still have all their parts.
  2. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    Jane wasn't at school yesterday as she had heartache.

    From a mother who is clearly not bitter! -

    Jimmy wasn't at school yesterday because it was the weekend he spends with his father who couldn't be ar*ed to get up on time and drive him to school and it's not as if the lazy f*cker has anything better to do as he refuses to get a job because he'll have the CSA after him.

    And a personal favourite:

    Jimmy will not be at school next Wednesday as he will have a headache.
  3. SleighBelle

    SleighBelle Occasional commenter

    Hah... thanks for upping this, made me giggle!

    My favourites...

    "Jimmetta couldn't come to school today because we had to go shopping for her secondary school uniform" (IN MAY!)

    A note to say Jimmella would be absent for a week because her grandma was poorly, when Jimmella herself had been swanning around the previous week telling all the sundry that she was going to Butlins. Upon her return, she made a big deal about her poorly grandma to her classmates, but only when within earshot of me. However, when I brightly asked her at the end of the day how her holiday was, she responded '"Oh, it was a-may-zing, Miss, we..... ummm....." before tailing off miserably.

    Another, I was taking the register and saw the 'reasons for absence' slip for Jimmy. Thinking out loud, I commented 'Oh, poor Jimmy, he's got the flu, that's why he's not in today.' From the back of the class, a voice piped up laden with derision, saying "No, he hasn't, he's gone to Monster Trucks!"
  4. I once worked with a woman in her 50s called in sick one day as she had a 'phantom pregnancy'. Evidently the problem was all cleared up by the next day, but she was still suffering from a desire to eat beef and onion crisps, which was one of the main symptoms...
  5. Jimmy ouldn't come to school yesterday because our guinea pig had babies and it was very stressful. Thankfully Jimmy and the babies are ok!
    Jimima couldn't come to school yesterday because her school uniform was stuck in the washing machine. (Quite sad really that there was obviously no alternative uniform).


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