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Why little Jimmy can't come to school!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ilovesooty, Jan 19, 2004.

  1. ian60

    ian60 New commenter

    A phone call home got this response;
    'Sorry, we couldn't sign Stephen's report card as our kitten got stuck behind the fridge'
  2. Our German kids are all quite computer skilled. That leads to a major change in excuses for anything:

    "...couldn't come to school because our pc had a virus crash and his dad couldn't fix it, so X had to stay up all night"

    "...couldn't do his homework because our internet server is down and X couldn't find the answers to the assignment online" (he was supposed to find out by THINKING about it!!)

  3. Glastonbury weekend: I'm afraid Jimmy has an urgent family meeting in the West Country...

    I actually have a letter on file for my own children, in which I just change the name, date and illness as required.
  4. Alby

    Alby New commenter

    Just remembered this one, can't believe it didn't come straight to mind.

    A colleague rang home enquiring about the absence of one of his form. A suspiciously young voice said that 'Jimmy' was ill. In answer to the question 'Who am I speaking to?', the answer came back . . .

    'It's me dad'!!

    Had us in fits!
  5. A secondary near my last school installed an automatic caller for children absent with no notice. Unfortunately the number was wrong, and morning after morning we had this that Jimmy or Felicity or whoever was absent and that we would kleep getting these calls until someone responded. So every morning that's what we had to do - a complete waste of time, that the Comp couldn't apparently recify. And the head had the nerve to get a piece in the paper about the impact of his anti-truancy campaign on the local environment!
    My all time favourite excuse wasn't for a child's absence, but for a parent not picking a small person up. She arrived two hours late (!) somewhat disshevelled and love-bitten with the excuse that "Me man's just back off the rigs and we've been havin' a shesh (=session). Well you can't push 'em off now can you?"
  6. Two of my favourites from my last school were:
    " Jimmy was off yesterday because it was raining." and
    "Jimmy was off on friday because I got free tickets for the Hoppins off the social and we could only use them on friday afternoon."
  7. "S. was off school because he has had a bout of Minoan club foot (again)." I have looked and looked for this disease but have yet to find it. I think I might use it if ever I decide to pull a sickie. Huge apologies to any sufferers if this is in fact some recognised if rare illness.
  8. the only one that ever leaft me speechless: 'my son wasnt at school yesterday as he needed new wheels for his skateboard'

    He didnt even come to school by skateboard.......
  9. S did not come to school yesterday as he had wood lice.

  10. Philippino mother rings my school and says '***** not in today as she in very bad mood' !!!
  11. If I hadn't gone to school every time I was in a bad mood either as pupil or teacher.......
  12. Hugh-Jarce

    Hugh-Jarce New commenter

    Jimmy didn't come in yesterday as I had to look after my sick sister.

    This is how it was written
    (So sad!)
  13. I have in the long and distant past used the excuse that I couldn't go to work because I had "Panleukopenia".

    I did.... it was raging through my foster kittens at the time and I had to intensively nurse them and chucked a sick day to do it, but for some reason everyone assumed that *I* had it because no one had the guts to ask what it actually was.....

    Still makes me chuckle.
  14. .....didn't come to school yesterday because he has tonsil lighters.

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    'Stephen was absent from school yesterday as he had a bad headache and he said if he came to school he would be a pain in the neck for you. So he stayed at home and was a pain in the neck for me instead. He's all yours today!'
  16. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    My little one couldn't go to school on last day of term last year, as she was too sad at leaving her lovely teacher (she is only 5 and being assessed for AS). Her lovely teacher arranged to wait in the classroom after everyone else had gone, so that I could bring her in (after collecting her sister, who has AS) to say goodbye.

    That's an excuse no teacher could frown upon:)
  17. Thought I would frivol up an old thread. Just thought it was funny.
  18. On three consecutive days I had "Jimmy couldn't come to school today because:

    he has no shoes

    we are going shopping for new shoes

    we couldn't find any shoes he liked!

    Luckily the next day was the weekend or I dread to think!

  19. 'Jimmy' didn't come to school yesterday because he covered himself with felt tip pen. He was in the bath for two hours and it still wouldn't come off so I used nail varnish remover. It's all off now.
  20. I promise you, no joke.... Why Jimmy couldn't come to school this morning but got in later...

    Little Jimmy came into my Year 2 classroom very late one morning and gave a confused account of events which involved the fire brigade. At hometime, his mum arrived and gave me a (far too!) detailed account of what had happened. Apparently, she liked using handcuffs during s*x and little Jimmy had found them because she had forgotten to uncuff them from the headboard after the previous nights escapades and he had cuffed himself to her bed. She couldn't find the keys because she had "put them somewhere"!!!! - don't ask... bleurgh... and had lost them, so had to call the fire brigade to cut him free. Fitted in lovely with our "People who help us" topic!!

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