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Why little Jimmy can't come to school!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ilovesooty, Jan 19, 2004.

  1. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

  2. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

  3. The best ones I ever had were:

    Jimmy couldn't come to school because he had diarrhoea through holes in his boots.

    Jimmy couldn't come to school because he had Dire rear.

    Very descriptive!!
  4. Admin Princess

    Admin Princess Occasional commenter

    One of our parents wrote an absence letter detailing her son's circumcision. Felt it would have been better if she'd just written "minor surgery."
  5. Admin Princess

    Admin Princess Occasional commenter

    As an aside - the mother of a young female colleague in the office where I worked 10 years ago phoned in to say that Jo wouldn't be at work because she couldn't walk. This was as a result of her and her fiance having vigorous doggy-style sex, causing carpet burn and thus severe blisters to the front of her ankles. (And they were, indeed, horrendous!) (The blisters.)
  6. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    On TP and a mum sent in a note to say that xxx had not been in school yesterday because they had run out of hairspray!
  7. Excuse given to my mother:

    Jimmy couldn't come to school as NTL had dug a hole in his front garden and it was dangerous to walk around it in case it collapsed!

    How wide is a hole for some cables!!!!
  8. I'm thinking of trying #4 excuse myself. I'm sure the HT would be sympathetic.
  9. Alby

    Alby New commenter

    We had this one when I was working back in the UK, I swear it is true, it was pinned up in the staffroom for ages.

    '... was off yesterday as he had the ****s.'

  10. Alby

    Alby New commenter

    Well, I've been censored. The word begins with 's' and has 'hit' in the middle, as if you couldn't guess!
  11. And Lily - we'd believe excuse No. 4 of you too!
  12. ".... couldn't come to school today because all the clocks in our house were wrong."

  13. Dear Miss,

    Jimmy couldn't come to school yesterday because I am under the doctor!!
  14. Dear Miss,
    "........... couldn't come into school yesterday because he got hit by a football in a very delicate place and has been having trouble down below, if you know what I mean."

    That one was on our staffroom wall for quite a while I can tell you; for the simple reason that the boy in question HATED FOOTBALL and never, ever joined in in the games periods!! (Primary school by the way, year 5)

    So we wanted to know how he had managed to be hit in that particular place!!

  15. Had a girl miss a day as her fish tank had leaked during the night and her uniform was next to the fish tank and so was wet!!!
  16. ScienceGuy

    ScienceGuy Established commenter

    The best absence not I have has was when a girl in my form was off school as she had been to see the Dr. after tripping over her brothers sock!
  17. Alby: I've had that note about little Jimmy having the s***s too: still makes me chuckle now.
  18. This one is absolutely true!!!
    The boy came up to me and the note had come in the previous year - we still talk about it now :

    "Dear Miss,
    I'm sorry ****** was off yesterday, but we thought the world was going to end and so we stayed up all night. It won't happen again"

    Yes....she was nuts!!!!

  19. Ha ha ha, just like the one we actually had at school that said a child was suffering from 'omitish'????????????????? lol
  20. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    Yr 10 note: Dear ****** Sorry I was not at school yesterday, but I was ill. I am having to write this note myself because my mum is cleaning the attic and her glasses are dusty. Yours sincerely....

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