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Why are weddings so blooming expensive?!?!?!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by RedBedHead94, Jan 22, 2017.

  1. RedBedHead94

    RedBedHead94 Established commenter

    Hubs2b and I went to a few wedding open days today - One at a local hotel which was very lovely but pricey (£6k for 50 odd guests!) and another further afield which was simply pants. Viewing another next week near Stansted, which costs a bomb but the package offers a lot.

    We're looking now but not actually doing the deed until early 2019 - reason being we want to be able to save up and pay cash, so no credit card issues where we can. It's so frustratingly expensive - had I stayed in my awful teaching job, we could have saved up in no time because i'd have been able to put a ton more in the kitty. Now my earnings are roughly in line with hubs (£1,000-ish a month each, we live with parents, the car running costs and the stupidly expensive gaming PC he just treated himself to on finance are the only overheads we have) we can save a bit, but not too much.

    It's so infuriating!! We have to either spend silly money on somewhere very nice and get the day taken care of, or spend slightly less on registry (all the ones available near us are rather drab and not nice) and then a hall (drab and not nice) and have to sort decorating and catering ourselves...meaning stress out of the ears. I'm not even factoring in the clothing and cake yet...Honeymoon is already decided on and is not cheap (back to Rhodes, to the childfree luxury hotel we fell in love with when we went before for our first 'proper' holiday together.)

    On top of all this, the in laws are creating merry hell about it all, continuously impressing upon me how their wedding cost £500 'down the registry, then back to mums for a buffet' so we should be doing that and not spending money... bearing in mind they got married in 1992, and it's their son that wants a huge wedding more than I do! Grrrrhhhhah!

    Sorry people, rant over!
     
  2. wanet

    wanet Star commenter

    Have seen some very nice wedding done on a budget.
     
  3. sparkleghirl

    sparkleghirl Star commenter

    Unfortunately we've been conditioned to think that registry and back to mum's isn't the way to start a life together, that it's necessary to spend silly money on a one off event. It's all part of the consumerist con and really not necessary for a happy marriage.
     
  4. petaloutha

    petaloutha Lead commenter

    Simple answer is because people are prepared to fling money at them. You could get married for a tenner I expect.
     
    ShowerGel, Landofla, ldnsenco and 4 others like this.
  5. emilystrange

    emilystrange Star commenter

    why does he want all that? he needs a reality check - i hope he's getting one. you can hire perfectly nice places that don't do the 'wedding' shebang.

    mind you, i did what his parents did in 1997, except for having guests. cost me £700 for ring, dress, suit, licence, photographer. slightly biased.
     
  6. thistledoo

    thistledoo Senior commenter

    Weddings are expensive because they know you will pay it. Have you tried a local rugby or golf club? Been to one in each recently - lovely.
    The rugby club 'do' had usual drinks to greet but deviated and had steak pie and peas. Believe it or not it was a lovely day. Room and tables were decorated beautifully.
    Golf club 'do' was more the wedding usual with a set lunch.

    If you want the typical wedding hotel venue then I'm afraid you will have to pay for it.

    Ignore the in-laws it is your wedding and you are paying for it!
     
  7. artisticteacher1

    artisticteacher1 New commenter

    If you're a teacher, how come you are only on £1000-ish a month? Thought teachers were on £2000 ish a month.
     
  8. thistledoo

    thistledoo Senior commenter

    PS - We did neither, hired a village hall, a caterer and music. We decorated the hall/ tables etc. had fab friends that did table decorations with me over a few glasses over a few nights.
     
  9. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    A friend's daughter is getting married later this year and are on a budget so they've hired a hall and are having afternoon tea. Apparently it's quite the thing. Friend is haunting charity shops for china-obviously it won't match but who cares? After, they can pack it all up and sell as a job lot on ebay.

    A wedding can be as cheap or expensive as you want. If you go to these wedding fairs, you'll be persuaded that the whole day will be a disaster unless you spend a fortune on stupid favours and cameras on the tables, for example.

    My brother is a priest and says he wishes folks would spend as much effort on planning he marriage as they do the wedding!
     
    drvs, Landofla, DYNAMO67 and 10 others like this.
  10. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    We found a nice little country pub... 25 guests... total cost was about 1.2K...

    Does it have to be a big hotel with a package on offer?
     
  11. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    We got married in the Registry Office then back to the house for a buffet and Wedding cake. I did it all, even made my dress, the cake and all the food.
     
  12. slingshotsally

    slingshotsally Star commenter

    I did mine for £1000.

    The room hire was the most expensive thing.

    Remember it's not the wedding that matters- its a happy marriage.

    We decided that if we had the money, then a great knees up each decade would be something lovely to aim for.

    We gave all our guests throwaway cameras and asked them to take photos, which we then printed off at a later date.
     
  13. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    We did registry office, then golf club for the rest. It was pretty cheap overall, about £2.5k, which included a free bar. My husband's aunt did the cake, my best friend did the flowers and my uncle did the photographs, all as wedding presents to us, which helped. I did the invites myself. That kind of thing can keep costs down quite a lot.
    My rationale was, when it comes down to it, what do you really remember about weddings? Not much. You remember if something was particularly awful, but I can't remember what the wedding favours or seats or flowers were like at any of the weddings I've been to, so there's no point stressing out about making sure you've got the best of the best for things like that.
     
  14. slingshotsally

    slingshotsally Star commenter

    This was the most sensible advice I was given from a colleague. It has held in good stead.
     
  15. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Er, marriage 1. Registry Office and tea at Kendal Milne. I can't imagine we paid for the tea. We were penniless students. Total guests. 5. Maybe 4.

    Second time. Registry Office Stratford-upon-Avon. One drink at the pub and then home. Guests. 2.
     
  16. slingshotsally

    slingshotsally Star commenter

    No- you have to pay the

    1. registrar/ Christian marrier/ Muslim marrier/ Jewish marrier
    2. marriage licence.


    I can't recall the other costs, there might other items. It's definitely more than £10.
     
    Lara mfl 05 and RedBedHead94 like this.
  17. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    Apparently, the prices for everything go up when the word 'wedding' is mentioned. Is it possible to book somewhere without mentioning what it's for? Or get married at the beginning of the week when it's much cheaper. Weekends now seem to include Thursday and Friday for the purposes of a wedding.

    I love a wedding though!
     
  18. RedBedHead94

    RedBedHead94 Established commenter

    I'm open to ideas - want a nice atmosphere, and not to have to faff around myself too much! H2b is under the impression that only hotels can offer this, so far he's right - the small halls we've found are siht* and so are the registry's.

    There's nowt wrong with registry and back to mum's, but neither out our parent's houses are big enough for the people we want to invite. Plus, seeing as buying a house is out of the question for many years anyway, we want to have something very nice.
     
  19. RedBedHead94

    RedBedHead94 Established commenter

    That's something we're trying - booking things for a 'family gathering' instead!
     
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  20. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    Because people make more and more of them.

    There was a report some time ago that showed the length of the marriage is inversely proportional to how much the wedding cost.

    The nicest wedding I went to was in a country church in the middle of field. The reception was in a marquee with the food being supplied by the local butcher, a hog roast later on and disco provided by a guest.

    There's a former student of mine getting married this year (she'll be 22 this year), it's been unfolding on FB for well over a year from the engagement (which seemed to planned), 2 days ago there were gushing messages from family who received their invitations, yesterday it was friends, bridesmaids got a t-shirt in a box, bunch of flowers, extravagant invitation, opened during a "we're giving the wedding invitations out party" with associated bubbly. All that time and energy, bleddy daft if you ask me.
     

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