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Why am I so rubbish at behaviour management?!

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by bigpedro, Mar 16, 2011.

  1. bigpedro

    bigpedro New commenter

    If i may be frank....
    It sounds like you're having a really hard time and i sympathise with your situation completely. but for the sake of your own sanity, you are going to have to become the "snappy shouty teacher" simply to show them that you're in charge.
    Never enter into an argument (or even a discussion) with them, Youre Right and Theyre Wrong! simple.
    As for squabbles and arguments, just tell them to Man-Up they wont get little chats and love in secondary school, so you're preparing them for that. Theres nothing wrong with telling them you're really not bothered and theyre to stop grassing on each other. If you are dealing with any silly squabbles, just punish the perputrator and the tell-tale equally, eventually it becomes too much hassle for any of them to bother.
    Find out what they really hate and use it as a punishment, kids usually hate not being allowed to do PE or not being allowed to do "fun stuff" so use this as a punishment if you need to.
    Dont read all the bull5hit in behaviour books, what works for one person doesnt work for everyone. start off as a b*tch and you can ease off. Start off as a friend and they'll walk all over you!
    Theres gonna be a load of people with wooly ideas about children needing care and love to sort out their issues who are about to post at what a dickensian approach i have but *** to them. This stuff worked 100, 50, 20 years ago and nothings changed!
    Become the b*tch of their nightmares and these things will sort themselves out. (it'll even filter down to the other years not to mess with you and this will make the future much easier)

    Hope its not too late.

  2. I'm sorry you are having such a horrible time.
    I am not an expert. Just an NQT working my way through this too. I work with 3 different classes.
    Lots of children are co-operative and will follow the rules you made with the class... but if one or two kids are being allowed to get away with things... the rest will try it on too... they can't help themselves... thnk back to being a kid yourself! It sounds like this is the situation you have got going on. It has been happening with one of my classes... but I seem to have sorted it (touch wood).
    Some ideas:
    1. You need a sanction. Such as sit in the classroom and miss break, finishing off work for example. And YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH with it. Do not relent because you feel bad. DO NOT TALK TO them or make it in any way pleasant. Insist on silence. If they are not silent they get to practise silence next break. KEEP doing it. You will also lose most of your break... but it needs sorting. IT WILL WORK. So go with it.
    2. Re-state your rules and make clear the consequence for breaking them.
    3. Be consistent Even if the nicest kid in the class breaks the rule you are dealing with... make them do it too. DO NOT RELENT because you feel bad. DO not try to be nice. BE consistent. Say things like "You knew that x was not allowed - and you chose to do it - so you will therefore lose 10 minutes of your break". Make it clear that it was their choice.
    4. Reward the behaviour thet you want. There are lots of ideas on this forum. I use a table points competition. I give points for tables who are quietest during guided reading, for being quickest getting ready for PE, for trying hard in swimming lessons. You name it, you can give points for it. I have a tin of treats for the winning team to pick from on Fridays. And a trophy to keep on the table. Even Y6 want stuff out of my tin... even if it is just a power ball. It costs me about 3 quid a week. Money well spent. Manipulate the points subtly so that all tables have a chance to win though!

    Good luck.
  3. Tom_Bennett

    Tom_Bennett Occasional commenter

    Plenty of wisdom expressed here so far. The reality is that you can do behaviour management- it's just that consistency, clear boundaries, explicit sanctions and rewards all take time to bed in, and the minute you give up on them it's as if you'd never tried in the first place. So don't think that it isn't working...it just hasn't worked yet.
    Good luck.

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