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Why am I feeling :( really silly..

Discussion in 'Personal' started by someonelikeme, Jun 28, 2011.

  1. Whilst on fb last week I noticed my that a friend had added an ex - my first boyfriend. Over the past couple of days his pic has been appearing saying that you may know this person - do you want to add them. I have resisted clicking yes as I didn't really want him to knw about me now, I looked at his pic though and he still looks lovely. So I log on tonight and then his pic appears again but its a different one, and it's from his wedding day with his wife.

    I kindof felt a bit sad, silly I know people move on, and its not as if i'm not 'over' him after all it was almost 10yrs ago not that we were together and I've had relationships since, tho I am single now and think it is probably to do with this that I'm feeling more :( when I see happy couples etc,.. though its more than that when I see this pic of him.

    I would obviously never do anything about this or ever add him on fb but I just want to get these thoughts out of my head.. I've been thinking about him all night and I know its not good as its making me feel sad and tearful.

    Any advice? apart from to 'man' up and get on with my own life? easier said than done :-/
     
  2. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    Is just envy that his life is apparently 'sorted' (my friends ex was divorced after 8 weeks! I was AMAZED. Things aren't always as perfect as they seem). Your not alone in feeling upset that the grass in greener for someone else, I cried yesterday because my friend got a job. Was really delighted for her but just make me feel more alone now I'm the only one in my friends who can't get a post. I'm hoping you'll feel happier today. Have you watched Bridesmaids? Might be one to see for a giggle to cheer you up. xx
     
  3. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    OP- it is indeed a pity that we can't have everything.

    [​IMG] littlemissraw,
    bless, (meant nicely), you may want to perk up your grammar before filling in your next application. [​IMG]

     
  4. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    Yeah maybe, downside of being dyslexic but I make sure my letters are checked and rechecked (something I don't tend to do on forums [​IMG])
    I know I feel really mean today for my green eyed monster [​IMG] xx
     
  5. MayKasahara

    MayKasahara New commenter

    I'm so sorry, I'm sure it won't make you feel any better but at the moment for each person who is lucky enough to get a teaching job there are many more people in the same position as you (including me!). I find that people usually tend to talk about the good things that happen to them and gloss over the not-so-good so it's easy to think that other people's lives are an endless round of popularity and joy rather than loneliness and sadness whereas I'm sure the truth for everyone is somewhere in between. I'm sure you posted previously and had a lovely website with greetings cards and leaflets on so I hope that's going well for you!
    P.S. I really liked the poking-with-a-stick emoticon!
     
  6. Doesn't much matter whether you should feel as you do - you do and that's that. It's really hard to switch negative feelings off (and indeed, if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be grateful for them myself) but it may help you to sit down and try to analyse why this has caused to react in this way.
     
  7. OP, I had this exactly same experience a few years ago. I remember slamming the lap top shut and then wishing my cooker was gas so I could put my head in it! Seriously, I felt THAT bad.
    Anyway, the next day I realised that my extreme reaction was hormone based(!) but I still felt as though it wasn't fair as life was so sorted for him and here was I single again and miserable. What made this worse for me was the ex married the very next girl he met after we split whilst I had had quite a few failed relationships at this point.
    Several tubs of ice cream later and wails of: "What's wrong with me?" made me realise that this was just how things were. I would never have swapped places with his bride as I didn't want to be with him and I also had to remember that life wasn't a race with winners and losers. (Yes that bit was hard!). He was married but didn't mean his life was ultimately going to turn out any happier than mine.
    As it is 3 years on I am in a very happy relationship with a man whom I have done more with in the past 12 months than I ever did with my ex in 10 years! I think back to that day when I slammed the lap top shut and I feel sorry that I was in that place. However, what that miserable experience taught me was that I could wallow or just get on with things. I did wallow for a couple of days but thenI threw myself into living my life, keeping busy and having a brilliant social life. Men came and went but I had accepted that my ex's life was his life to lead as he wished now and had nothing to do with me so get on with enjoying mine.
    So OP, I suggest have a day or so feeling miserable then get yourself busy - you can't turn off the emotions but you canwork hard to stop them consuming you.
    Good Luck x


     
  8. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Is he an Ice Cream Man by any chance? ;-)
     

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