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Who would put up with Ham, Egg and Chips when this alternative is available?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Duke of York, Sep 7, 2015.

  1. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I shall be dining tonight on roast pork, egg and potato footballs. That's posher, aint it?

    Well, I fancied ham egg and chips for a change, but Tesco were keen to free themselves of around half a pig's worth of roast pork from the deli counter this afternoon and had it on special offer, wrapped in bags atop the deli counter in the hope it would sell at half price before being dumped on the desperate shelf. I reasoned that ham is also pork and I'm just as partial to roast pork as I am ham and I doubt our pup can tell the difference yet if there's any leftovers.

    On that note, I gather my sweetheart made an inroad into the main ingredient for my dinner, testing whether it would work in her stir fry along with the king prawns she'd bought. She tells me the cat went bonkers over the chance to eat the fat. I very much doubt they'll both be patiently sitting side by side next to me when I dine in the hope of being fed a morsel. The pup will almost certainly be, because he'll eat anything going. The cat is far more selective though, so if he really likes pork fat, it could be interesting to drop a piece midway between them to see what happens.

    I was reliably informed we have eggs somewhere, so the only thing left to buy was the chips.

    Goodness, what a choice of frozen potato products they now offer. Almost an entire aisle of them in every conceivable shape, even letters of the alphabet. I gave up searching for bog-standard chips after I discovered the potato footballs, which I imagine will turn out to somewhat mid-way between chips and roast potatoes, and anticipate my meal with the optimism of a man who says "If you don't try them, you'll never know what you missed."

    It turns out that potato footballs are spherical-shaped pieces of potato with a diameter around 1.5cm. I can only imagine they are produced by grinding the corners off of potato cubes, which I recently noticed a competitor was selling and tried. They were very nice, as it happens, so I'll be fascinated to learn what advantages the the spherical equivalent offers.

    I'll be fascinated too to learn what happens to all the potato that gets ground off. I'm sure it ends up another potato product, but which one? I reckon that crisps get the first whack out of a peeled potato and there's a hierarchy for the rest. A few years ago, I would have suggested that Nik-Naks are made from the peelings, but have you seen the price of them these days? Over three quid for twelve small packs and it looks like they don't sell single packs any more.

    Nik-Naks were once the cheapest potato junk you could buy, but I reckon there's been a bit of market re-positioning taken place lately. They always were a punishment to eat, but it was tolerable when they only cost 20p per packet and you were starving with only 20p left in your pocket. Who in their right mind would outlay over three quid to get their hands on them, when you can often get a packet of "Kettle" crisps for a quid?
  2. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    Nik Naks were not made from potatoes.
  3. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    Coincidently - we had ham, egg and chips for lunch today. Delicious!
  4. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I bow to your superior knowledge, doom. Wikipedia tells me they are made from corn, but sadly doesn't expand on whether they compete with the Green Giant over the best bits or make what they can from the bits Green Giant customers would be outraged if they found them in the tins. I'm OK with that, insofar as I'm sure it's edible, or at least won't unduly harm us, but I question the cost.

    How can a kilo bag of prime corn cost a third of the price of an ounce of processed corn waste?
  5. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    You are further confusing corn and maize
  6. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    Do I care? Look at my face? Do you honestly think I look like I care?

    The only thing I care about in this discussion is why whatever goes into Nik Naks needs to be so heavily flavored to disguise what ***** gets extruded. The end result tastes pretty toxic, and that's after it's been improved by the flavourings.

    I'd love to know who would try the stuff out of choice without the flavourings. Do you reckon cyclists might?
  7. felltogroundinberkeleysquare

    felltogroundinberkeleysquare Established commenter

    Hmm bacon crisps..........frazzles weren't they? One of your five a day?
  8. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    and suitable for vegetarians
  9. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I notice you haven't reviewed the meal. Are you still alive?

    I must admit that I didn't find it appetising. Something of an understatement there. I do hope it hasn't been the death of you. I would miss you very much.

    If you have been spared please tell us how good (!!!) it was or was not.
  10. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    We love the yellow label fridge.

    Just after Christmas our local Tesco was dumping the unsold Christmas ham legs. These were enormous cured fractions of a pig selling for a ridiculously small sum.

    We bought one. At home I boned it and cut it into 6 Sunday sized joints. Blazer minor and major took one each to feed their families. The rest went in the freezer. So far we have roasted one and cooked another in the slow cooker. Still got 2 to go!

    Our local Co-op is also a good hunting ground for reduced cost items. Sunday at about 3pm being the optimum time but also late afternoon on Saturday is also worth a visit.
  11. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I survived it. The roast pork and eggs went as well together as ham and eggs. I don't think I'll bother with the rest of the potato footballs though. They looked nice, but had an odd texture and no discernible flavour to describe to you. Not even potato.

    Having thought about it, I expect the experience was similar when potatoes were introduced into Europe for the first time. European people back then must have been amazed to taste tomatoes, avocados and chocolate for the first time. Can you imagine how excited they will have been to learn of yet another vegetable being brought over from the New World, then the disappointment when they tried the potato? They must have fretted for years over what to do with it to make it palatable.

    I note from the variety of crisp flavours that supermarkets have, the matter has still to be resolved and experiments continue.

    In writing this, I'm reminded that when I was a kid, for many years the only flavour you could get crisps in was salt and even then you had to add it yourself, having rifled through the pack in the hope the blue twist of paper that contained it had been packed with the crisps and it hadn't somehow got damp in storage. Crisps were at most, a once a week treat and invariably came from the pub.

    As a teenager, I was introduced by my mates to the cheap sustenance that can be found in the fish and chip shop from the dredgings of the deep fat fryer. Crispy bits of batter which had a name I can't recall. The chippies were no doubt glad to get a penny or two for something otherwise destined for the dustbin. You'd need to be starving and virtually penniless to ask for them though. No matter how much salt and vinegar they were smothered with could disguise the fact they tasted of nothing other than oil and a lack of nutrition. I only ever tried them once and that was when my mate offered me a handful of the ones he'd bought.

    If anyone can remember what they were called, I'll write to a celebrity chef and offer him a classic recipe from my youth that might revive a flagging career in return for a pint all round for the Tessers who replied to this thread.
  12. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    Scrumps or scraps, dependant on which chippy I go to.

    Oh and

    Could you explain the difference to me please? The way I understand it is that corn is a generic term for grown grain. So maize, oats, barley, wheat etc are all corn. Thanks in advance.
  13. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I know what you mean about potato.

    I am 60 but have now learned something that should have occurred to me a million years ago. Potato IS tasteless. All these years I've spent salivating over chips and roasties? Thinking about chips and roasties? Dreaming about chips and roasties? Wasted.

    You're right. Tasteless. The scales have fallen from my eyes. It's the oil or the dripping or the goose fat. That's what counts.

    I feel betrayed.
  14. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    This was brought to my attention when at the age of 14, I offered a chip to an old lag who also worked in the shop I earned my pocket money in. He said that "modern chips", as they were then, weren't a patch on the old chips he's enjoyed at my age and claimed the problem was down to to the chippies switching from frying in dripping to frying in oil.

    He was particularly disdainful that the move had been made as a cost-saving measure, since oil didn't go rancid as quickly as dripping did. Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width, was a popular TV programme at the time, as I recall as well.

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