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Who can tell the best boring story (borey)?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Orkrider2, Aug 10, 2019.

  1. MrMedia

    MrMedia Star commenter

    Two teachers met in the middle of the summer holidays and didn't recognise each other without the gaunt face, abject terror of OFSTED and zombie tirednesss. My, remarked one, do you think this is what retirement is like?
  2. baitranger

    baitranger Established commenter

    I heard the door bell go, so I thought: "who can that be?".So I got up and went to the door. Well I opened the door and it was the postman. He said, "There's a parcel for you". "A parcel?" I said. "Yes," he said, "it's a parcel for you".I shut the front door and then I took the parcel and thanked the postman, he's a nice man.I forgot to thank him while the door was open so I thanked him through the door.By accident the postman put the parcel outside the door because I shut the door before taking the parcel. I think he heard me when I thanked him, but I'm not sure. I'll ask him next time I see him. Anyway, I went inside and sat down. I looked at the parcel and I went, "I wonder who this is from".
    sodalime and cissy3 like this.
  3. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Doesn't count.
    There's a cliff hanger.
    You need to remove that or you are at risk of being interesting.

    I'm having a sandwich. It's two whole slices because I couldn't find a knife to cut it in half. It's got cheese in. PM me if you'd like the recipe, but I wont get back to you until after 7.30 as I'm going to do some stuff in the garden, just in case you're wondering why I haven't replied.
  4. baitranger

    baitranger Established commenter

    Fair comment.
    Then I realised that it wasn't a parcel after all because I forgot to put my glasses on and it was just an advert for double glazing.
    cissy3 and sodalime like this.
  5. colpee

    colpee Star commenter

    Do know my mother in law?
    knitone and emerald52 like this.
  6. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    The last time I had an advert for double glazing I picked it up and put it on a table. A brown table. No, hang on.It wasn't me, it was my son. He picked it up and put it on a brown table. We didn't get double glazing. If I had enough money for double glazing, here are some things I would prefer to spend it on-
    a coat
    some shoes
    a boat
    a table top shredder for things like double glazing adverts.

    But I don't.
    I've finished my sandwich.
    cissy3, sodalime and colpee like this.
  7. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    Far too much detail.
    sbkrobson, cissy3 and sodalime like this.
  8. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    I missed a call from my friend so I texted her to ask if she was ok and she said yes sorry she called me by accident so I said ok.
    cissy3 and sodalime like this.
  9. Nellyfuf2

    Nellyfuf2 Established commenter

    I once had a colleague with a flat monotonous voice.
    We were moderating the FSP.
    I fell asleep.
    cissy3 likes this.
  10. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    Will this become another Bore War?
    EmanuelShadrack and sodalime like this.
  11. sodalime

    sodalime Lead commenter

    Ah, it's clear that there's a delicate and natural art to telling boring stories.
    And we (us TESers) don't have it unless we try very hard to fake it.
    And when you fake it, it just comes across as forced, rather than genuinely boring.
    Therefore it's no longer boring.
    EmanuelShadrack and cissy3 like this.
  12. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    When I brushed my teeth this morning I noticed there were two toothpastes ‘on the go’ so I put one back in the cabinet for when the other one is finished.
    EmanuelShadrack, cissy3 and Orkrider2 like this.
  13. blue451

    blue451 Lead commenter

    That's my mother.
    Then she'll phone a few hours later to correct it again.
    knitone and emerald52 like this.
  14. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    I can name all the players (both sides and substitutes) for the 1970 FA Cup Final.
    blue451, Doglover and emerald52 like this.
  15. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    "In a nutshell" in internet parlance... Tl;dr ... Too Long Didn't Read.
    sodalime likes this.
  16. Oscillatingass

    Oscillatingass Star commenter

    Useful info that will come in very handy.:)
    sodalime likes this.
  17. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    I got out of bed, dressed in yesterday's clothes and drove to the butcher's to get Maleficent's shopping. The butcher only did fancy pork sausages so I went across the street and bought some plain ones in a shop there. Then I drove back towards home, turned off the road to arrive at a street leading to the newsagent's and parked. I bought my Saturday paper and magazines and went home. I had breakfast, showered and dressed. I talked to son and the Greek, read my paper which was the DT and read Charles Moore on the climate change and environmentalists. A whine piece of absolutely no value. Then I went for a brisk walk up the road with Slemish on the right and rain clouds blowing in. After about 1.5 Km I turned round and walked back. I'm getting bored myself now.
    lanokia and sodalime like this.
  18. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    That has conversation between two people and immediately is full of tension.
    blue451 and sodalime like this.
  19. simonCOAL

    simonCOAL Occasional commenter

    1) Peter Bonnetti, or is it Boneti, no... hang on Bonetti?
    2) over to you peakster
  20. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Over here they like to provide an interlude between segments by saying "and that was okay".
    dumpty and sodalime like this.

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