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Who can tell the best boring story (borey)?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Orkrider2, Aug 10, 2019.

  1. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    I’ll start with a thrilling story about my day yesterday.

    I was sitting on the sofa and a programme I’ve seen before came on. I wanted to change the channel but I couldn’t reach the remote so I watched it. Later I had to nip to the shop. I walked out of my house and realised I didn’t have my debit card so I went back in the house and got it.

    Beat that.
     
    cissy3, lanokia and sodalime like this.
  2. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    I think you need to come to O’Neills this afternoon and tell me that story in person so I can get the full effect of its boringness.
     
    lanokia, nomad, sodalime and 2 others like this.
  3. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    You are Reece Douglas and I claim my £5.
     
    minnie me and MrMedia like this.
  4. emerald52

    emerald52 Star commenter

    So I got my debit card, got to the shop and realised I’d left my shopping list at home so had to go home again.
     
    sodalime likes this.
  5. knitone

    knitone Lead commenter

    It’s not a true borey until it contains something like:

    It was Tuesday, no wait Wednesday that I was on my way to the shops. No, no, as you were, it was Tuesday because the fish man had called that morning. Actually, now I come to think of it, it was the baker so it must have been Friday.
     
    blue451, cissy3, Dragonlady30 and 3 others like this.
  6. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    Oh, it's the ones that go
    "so I said to him "What do you want for dinner?" and he said "I don't know" so I said "how can you not know" and he was like "I just don't know" so I said "what about fish and chips" and he said "no we had that yesterday" so I said "curry?" and he said "I don't fancy curry" so I said......"
     
    blue451, cissy3, lanokia and 4 others like this.
  7. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    Ah, I'd love to but I'm completely and utterly stony broke right now. :(
     
  8. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    Yesterday I admired my friend's nail polish and she told me her sister gave it to her.
     
    sbkrobson, cissy3 and sodalime like this.
  9. Nellyfuf2

    Nellyfuf2 Occasional commenter

    I have two
    I had a really funny dream last night.....
    and
    My three times great great grandfather, well his daughter was......
     
  10. dumpty

    dumpty Star commenter

    Not meaning to make this women v men but nothing - nothing -can be more boring than when ladies feel the need to add every single detail to a boring story.

    Example: I (chap) would say ' I left my bag on the bus! Quick, let's call lost property'

    My lady friends - each and every one - will say ' so I left home at 9....or was it 8:55....it was raining I think....no it wasn't, the sun was shining and my mother called to remind me to feed the cat....her cat....or was it next door's cat......


    20 minutes later she will say she lost her bag on the bus.
     
  11. Lalad

    Lalad Star commenter

    Zzzzzz ...whaa?!
     
  12. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    So I am I but I’ll treat you to a cider Orky. x
     
  13. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    Thank you, that's kind, but on this occasion I'm going to have to decline :(
     
  14. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    I know plenty of men like that too Dumpty - alas.

    (And perhaps I am a bit like that myself - shh).
     
    dumpty likes this.
  15. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    If we're going to be sexist about it, @dumpty, what about those men's stories about their journey? "We took the A124 to junction 17, which is usually clear, but there was a contraflow after junction 12, so we turned off onto the B1751..."
     
    minnie me, cissy3, knitone and 6 others like this.
  16. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    My dishwasher's very long and level and inaccessible waste pipe blocked the other day, so yesterday I decided to try fixing it....

    You really don't want to know believe me, it's a continuing saga.
     
    sodalime likes this.
  17. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    Ugh, or my dad recounting shot by shot his entire 18 holes of golf.

    "So we lined up on the 4th and Smudgy was gonna hit it with a 7 iron and Gubsy was like "mate, you're not gonna get it on the fareway with that" but you know what Smudgy is like and he didn't listen. So we're all standing about just watching him and he hits it and it goes into the woods. So then it's Cooperman's turn and ...."
     
    cissy3, nomad, sodalime and 4 others like this.
  18. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

     
    cissy3, sodalime and Orkrider2 like this.
  19. dumpty

    dumpty Star commenter

    Ah but the recounts above by the men are supremely interesting and educational :p
     
    emerald52 and mothorchid like this.
  20. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    These two things switch me off straight away.

    Other people's dreams, is there anything less interesting? Full of vague non-detail and always end with "it was really weird"

    Talking about people you have never met and probably never will, no introduction to who they are or their connection or role in the story, just a name (nicknames are far worse for some reason) and the assumption that you'll know who they are. Extra (negative) points if the story revolves around some particular character trait of Smudgy or Gubsy that you of course also know nothing about.

    "Who's he? I don't know him"
    "Everybody knows him!"
    either
    "Oh yes you're right, I was just pretending I didn't"
    or shame at the perceived social inadequacy of not knowing the person that apparently everybody knows.
     

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