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Where do I go...

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by doneanddusted, Feb 6, 2014.

  1. I have recently received some wonderful advice from the 'workplace dilemmas' forum under the thread "Is that it then" but find myself in need of sharing my thoughts again so I hope you don't mind me turning to you all.

    Having lost my job, ridiculously, to 'incapability due to health grounds' I now find myself on the jobseeker market, devoid of all confidence and completely at a loss. Having been told at dismissal hearing and subsequent appeal that I am 'incapable' I am now starting to believe that is the case. From being a UPS teacher in a senior position in a school to actually considering midday supervisor positions (not that there is anything wrong with these but it shows how much my confidence has plummeted).

    My union are busy trying to put together a case for tribunal - either under unfair dismissal or disability. I am sure that if I come out on the right side of that some of my confidence will be be restored, but in the meantime I find myself sliding back into the emotional turmoil that I was slowly beginning to drag myself out of. My GP is very supportive and is in no hurry to take me off my meds (without which I am sure I wouldn't be here today) but this ongoing self doubt is constantly eating away at me.

    I am desperate to get back into teaching, but absolutely petrified at the same time. Having been so badly mistreated I just fear the same happening again and letting everyone down. The idea of applying for jobs and having to explain all this to a prospective head fills me with dread - but they won't let me claim jobseekers indefinitely!!

    On the advice of the union I have contacted teacher support, but they suggested that it should really be my union who are supporting me with this! I'm just letting so many people down and I really don't know what to do for the best. I so want to be the uber confident, nothing's too much trouble, me but after over a years constant battling I am completely drained.

    Apologies - I sound so pathetic and sorry for myself, but just needed somewhere to let-it-all-out. I hope you don't mind. Thanks for listening.

  2. Cooperuk

    Cooperuk Senior commenter

    I'm not sure of your exact circumstances, but it sounds like YOU have been let down, not the other way around. Don't beat yourself up! Your union are putting together a case for tribunal so it seems clear that you are the victim in this situation and have been mistreated. It's all too common an occurrence nowadays in teaching and it seems to affect those who care the most about their job and professionalism.

    My health has been severely compromised by my current job, but I know that things will be better if I can move on. I have had those thoughts about leaving teaching entirely (and not knowing what to do as an alternative) so can empathise.

    I hope your union can support you fully through this. Please know that there are very kind people here who will be with you every step of the way, in spirit (and online).


  3. Thank you Coop. I know I am not alone in all this but it really does seem ridiculous that so many hard working, dedicated people are being 'shoved out' of where they want to be and having to suffer greatly in the process.

    The irony of it all is that work actually was not having a massive effect on my health at the time, but something had to give for a while and work was really the only thing that could be 'paused' while I sorted life out. However I am now in a situation where work is the major cause of my woes - and I'm not even in it!

    I do hope you too can find a way through - I have been following you on other threads. Hope the interviews lead to something.

    Dusty x
  4. Cooperuk

    Cooperuk Senior commenter

    Hi Dusty,

    hope you are managing to feel a little better. Let me know how things are going.


  5. Hi

    Thank you for thinking of me.

    Was feeling a little better but just been sent minutes from one of my meetings at school and they read like a work of fiction - I just don't understand why I seem to have to battle all the time over this. All I wanted to do was go back to work - I'm sure I wasn't the bad guy!

    I know that things will move on, it just seems to be one thing after another. Been asked to help out with a couple of voluntary things which will hopefully start to build my confidence back up - I just hope I've got the guts to do them, it just seems so much easier to avoid things.

    Anyway, a nice afternoon baking with the kids planned, keep my mind off it!


  6. Cooperuk

    Cooperuk Senior commenter

    Make sure you have a union rep or friend with you in future as a witness if they are making stuff up. Alternatively, announce that you are going to record the meetings on your phone "for the sake of accuracy" as previous minutes have not reflected the content of the meeting..

    That'll stop 'em!
  7. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Isn't it funny how "their" minutes never match up with your recollection of events, and how they not so subtly have a bias in their favour?

    Never attend a meeting of any sort without a friend to take independent notes and be your witness.
  8. Hi both. I did have union rep with me at the meeting so sending minutes to him, with my corrected version(!) to witness them as a more accurate version! Union says it is quite normal to have 2 versions running side by side in these circumstances.

    Wish I had recorded it!
  9. Cooperuk

    Cooperuk Senior commenter

    I've had abusive comments made about me in 1:1 meetings with an SLT member who was meant to be supporting me. Oddly enough, this is not reflected in her 'minutes' of the meetings. (These were meant to be confidence - not minuted at all - so you can imagine how I feel about it.).

    Subsequently all of this is denied as the minutes don't include these abusive comments and my questioning about why there were minutes in the first place (which I didn't get a copy of) and how it is obvious that these abusive comments would not be included, as they would incriminate the SLT member, are dismissed as irrelevant.

    Law unto themselves!
  10. One ridiculous comment in the minutes 'quotes' me to support a point and then says that I didn't actually say it in this meeting, but in a previous one - so what is it doing in these minutes anyway. Almost owning up to the fact that they are in fact a pulling together of their thoughts rather than an objective record!

    I've a good mind to ask the chair/clerk directly who the actual author of the minutes is and could I have a copy of the clerk's handwritten notes in order that I can compare!!

    I too have recently had 'minutes' of previous 'unminuted' meetings suddenly appear that I never received copies of. Strange how they are worded to very much reflect later decisions which hadn't even been made at the time. Was able to look at the 'date created' of some of these electronic documents, some of which were first created some 5/6 months after the date actually stated.

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