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When will I get a break?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by MarianH, May 4, 2012.

  1. MarianH

    MarianH New commenter

    This is just a vent.

    I have worked so hard at my career. I was finally making progress, then my daughter was diagnosed with leukaemia.

    A year into treatment and I am back in work, but have had to have many unpaid days to look after her/take her to appointments. She should be living more 'normally' now, but she has been very ill and immune-suppressed by her dose of chemo so they have just dropped her to 75% to see if she will cope better with that. I don't know how I feel about the 75%. Surely it is 100% for a reason?

    Before Easter she was hospitalised with pneumonia. Whilst we were there, another girl we knew died of her illness. Then a boy we knew, then another boy, then another was given 6 months. All around me children are relapsing.

    I am so worried about her. And all the time, trying to get in, trying to do my job. I'm main earner; we cannot afford to pay the bills on my husband's salary. My pay has been seriously hit by time off.

    Then, today, a letter to meet the head about my attendance. This is aside from routine HR procedure. I am worried, stressed, anxious. I am frightened I will go in and have some kind of meltdown.

    I'm waiting to hear back from union.

    I cannot believe just 18 months ago they regarded me as a conscientious employee who they wanted to keep when I tried to apply elsewhere.

    And I still wonder, when exactly do I get some good luck for a change?
  2. MarianH

    MarianH New commenter

    TES ate my paragraphs.
  3. I am so sorry. This must be the most horrendous time for you. I sincerely hope that your daughter's health improves. No advice really ... just hope things work out for you eventually. xx
  4. Hi
    I'm sorry to hear of your problem and I hope that things go well for your daughter and your family.
    It may be (I don't know if this is the case for certain and I don't want to get your hopes up needlessly) useful to check the equalities act http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/uploaded_files/EqualityAct/employercode.pdf
    This is an example from the employers code:
    A lone father caring for a disabled son has to take time off work whenever
    his son is sick or has medical appointments. The employer appears to resent
    the fact that the worker needs to care for his son and eventually dismisses
    him. The dismissal may amount to direct disability discrimination against
    the worker by association with his son.
    You would get more definite advice by ringing their helpline: http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/about-us/advice-from-our-helpline/
    They are very good and will spend time talking you through what you need to do.
    Also get your union involved.
    All the best
  5. MarianH

    MarianH New commenter

    Thank you. I know, there's nothing anyone can do. I like sympathy though: it reminds me that this is actually really rubbish, and not just me blowing it out of proportion.
    I like your Moomins!
  6. MarianH

    MarianH New commenter

    Thank you very much for this. I will have a read. I don't know what the meeting will bring; it's just stress I could do without tbh.
  7. Make sure you have union representation - sit and listen, you don't have to say anything and don't agree to anything.
    I fully understand and sympathise with it being stress you don't need. Unfortunately some managers will take the opportunity to create stress to people in the most vulnerable situations.
    There are also some great people out there and on this forum who can give informed opinions, much more than I can. It may be useful to post this on the HTs forum - there are people like Middlemarch and TheoGriff who know what they are talking about.
  8. (Marian)
    You have mail.

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