1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

When to intervene

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by Golden2010, Nov 12, 2011.

  1. Hiya,
    I child in my class has been told that he is not returning to Mum. He was known as a disruptive child when he was with Mum, and then he calmed down a lot when he went to fosterers. I'm just wondering how to handle him in the next week. I know he will do ANYTHNG to get my attention: tapping, singing, making noises, walking around, kicking people. Negative or positive any attention is good. My TA and I are going to try and ignore the little things and praise as soon as we see the good things. Just wondering when should I intervene when the little things start to become big things. Do I totally ignore him mooing like a cow and singing even though all the other children are looking at him? Or do I intervene? Any advice would be great. I know this child is going through a rough time and I dont want to end up making it worse.
    Lola.
     
  2. Hiya,
    I child in my class has been told that he is not returning to Mum. He was known as a disruptive child when he was with Mum, and then he calmed down a lot when he went to fosterers. I'm just wondering how to handle him in the next week. I know he will do ANYTHNG to get my attention: tapping, singing, making noises, walking around, kicking people. Negative or positive any attention is good. My TA and I are going to try and ignore the little things and praise as soon as we see the good things. Just wondering when should I intervene when the little things start to become big things. Do I totally ignore him mooing like a cow and singing even though all the other children are looking at him? Or do I intervene? Any advice would be great. I know this child is going through a rough time and I dont want to end up making it worse.
    Lola.
     
  3. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    It sort of depends on how old the class are.

    For most of primary school age I would give him some special time with the TA first thing in the morning while you do the register. Doesn't have to be heavy. They can play a game, colour a picture together, read a book, have a chat, whatever. This gets his day off to a positive start and TAs can almost always find a reason to give a sticker or team point after a session with a child.

    I would also talk to the class on Monday (TA take this poor lad off somewhere else for 5 mins or so) and let them know that little Freddie is having a tough time at the moment and needs everybody's help. Tell them that he might be very naughty for a while because he wants people to notice him, but you want to only notice him for being good. Say that they are NOT to turn and look at him or laugh or take any notice at all when he makes silly noises or calls out. If they were looking in his direction before they are to say nothing and just turn away. Make this quite a stern instruction. But also then reassure them that you will not be allowing him to hurt them. If he hits or kicks they are to come and tell you very quietly and you will deal with it quietly as well.

    Remember one child mooing like a cow is not a problem at all, leave him to it. 23 children watching one child mooing like a cow IS a problem.

    Oh and obviously go all out to praise every single little thing that is good, even if it makes you feel a bit sick as you have been so OTT. He needs to learn that he gets absolutely nothing from anyone, including his friends, for being naughty and gets lots and lots for being good.
     
  4. It does depend largely on the age of the children.
    My first response is to keep him busy and make him feel important. so as was said previously have him spend 10 - 15 mins reading wiht a TA at the start of the day so he has a chance to talk about anything bothering him.
    I would also make him my right hand man. Register taken back, books given out, pencils sharpening etc get hime to find someone sensible to help him.
    However, by all means notice all good behaviour but i think it is a mistake to ignore poor behaviour in this situation. moving to foster carers is difficutl but it is not an excuse to be disruptive. He needs to know his boundaries - that will give him security that he so badly needs. He desperately needs to be the same as the others. if you treat him differently now and blurr the boundaries - when and how will you go back to treating him like the others?
    I had a couple of children in foster care last year. One was very settled the other had to change carers during the year so i am well aware of the challenges you will face. However, you need to be aware that this is the child's reality and they need to accept aspects of their life that may not be ideal but nevertheless that is the situation.
    Sympathy and empathy are not the same. sympathy can be very damaging.
    Good luck to you both.
     
  5. Tom_Bennett

    Tom_Bennett Occasional commenter

    Great advice, above.
    This poor kid; but whether he's a poor kid or not, there's a job to be done, and it won't get done by appeasing his misbehaviour. If he's going to go through an extended period of social care, then he needs somewhere in his life that rules exist, where order prevails, populated by people he can trust to look out for his best interests even when he can no longer perceive them for himself: school.
    It's rough on him, it''s rough on you, it's rough on everyone, but what can you do? Make sure that when he misbehaves, he gets called out on it. And you're right, the temptation will be for him to misbehave to get you to look at him. So make sure that misbehaviour ends up with the exact opposite; when he misbehaves, or moos or whatever, then there has to be a strategy in place whereby he gets removed and taken to a place where he is in monitored isolation from his peers and the sunshine of your love. Re-integration to the classroom has to be dependent on his acquiescence to your boundaries. That's how you enforce the rules without giving him the negative attention that, in his angry, confused child-mind, he mistakes for the esteem of others.
    And make it clear that you want the best for him; that you want him to be good, and you're so proud of him when he is. But now isn't a time to rely on 'catching him being good.' He needs to know the difference between good and bad, and that falls, it seems to you. The kid sounds like he IS going through a rough time, and so therefore are you. But it's going to take your courage to step up and give this child what he NEEDS, and not just what he would LIKE. If he doesn't learn self-restraint in your classroom, then I fear that he won't learn it anywhere else, and the pattern of his life could be set at this frighteningly young age.
    It's a grim, awful responsibility. Do your best, and the very best of luck to you. Who knows? You might just be the person who steers him onto a better path.
    Good luck
    Read more from Tom here on his personal blog, or follow him on Twitter here.
     

Share This Page