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When T and TA don’t ‘gel’?

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Miffy2016, Jan 14, 2019.

  1. HollyA23

    HollyA23 New commenter

    Has anyone else experienced this? I’ve worked with many different people before and always had a good rapport with them. I’ve never experienced this before and I’m
    finding it a bit odd.
  2. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Oh yes and it is difficult. You just have to maintain as professional an attitude as possible and hopefully next year someone else will have them.
  3. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    As long as you teach effectively and they assist the teaching effectively it's not necessary for you to be pals, but it obviously helps if there's some rapport between you.

    What you don't want is a situation where you're both pulling in different directions or you feel like your professionalism is being undermined. Likewise the TA needs to be able to trust you to make the right professional decisions, regardless of any personal considerations.
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2019
  4. mothergoose2013

    mothergoose2013 Occasional commenter

    One of my favourite past colleagues was definitely a major personality clash (two way) with me at first. We both felt we would be unable to work together and neither of us really knew why. Turned out we were very similar and after a few situations where we backed each other in spite of our questionable 'gelling' the relationship improved. We are still friends to this day in spite of really struggling to get along initially. I hope it all works out for you and the rapport comes with time.
  5. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    It can be difficult. I sympathise.
    I agree with @Lara mfl 05 in that the only way forward is to be as professional as possible.
    If things simply don't work and it's more a matter of what the TA is or isn't doing, you could go via the Sendco to ask for a change in what the TA does in the classroom.
    However, you are now a good way through the year, so you could just count to days until July!;)
  6. sunshineneeded

    sunshineneeded Star commenter

    It certainly can be difficult and I've seen it happen on several occasions. Most of the time, people just keep the relationship professional and carry on. But there have been a few occasions where either the TA or the teacher have had to bring the matter to SLT's attention (they are generally already aware!) and changes have been made.
    We're nearly half way through the year … soldier on, and if things don't improve, is there someone you could talk to to hopefully ensure that you can have a change of support staff next year?
    Miffy2016, Curae, mothorchid and 2 others like this.
  7. Curae

    Curae Star commenter

    All of the advice is excellent. I have worked with so many TAS most of whom are graduates or post grad and qualified if not more than myself some aren't I suppose it matters not but I do adapt. Being an unashamed opportunist even a bit lazy ( as I am old I sometimes allow this from myself ) I will give my TA responsibility as required and ask him or her for advice. I always promote them I'm front of other staff * in a nice (not sticky way ) I treat them as equal none of this I am incharge (although I am and the final decision maker and they know it). There have been TAs (b ---h from hell) types ) I could have buried alive at times however I resort to compliments " Oh you look gorgeous today " So and so (horrid pupil) really looks up to you and I can see how well you work together. I am not being fake what I say is true ..I'm thinking of one TA imoparticular she was gorgeous and did have a special way with the kids Since my completment she has been fab I really do NOW like her and she is no longer the unpleasant person I thought she was So get to know your TA a little and you may well find her a God send.
    Special Monday hugs because we all need them
    Curae xxx
  8. Curae

    Curae Star commenter

    You are as lovely as your name @sunshineneeded
    Curae xx
    Lara mfl 05 and sunshineneeded like this.
  9. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Spidey sense of the OP not necessarily being from a teacher, but from a TA.
    Some responses assume otherwise, and are therefore non applicable in several ways.
    Also the posting history indicates quite clearly a fractious and tumultuous couple of years just lapsed, so I'm kind of keen to know how this has been simultaneous with maintaining good rapport with all around.

    As usual, I come across as harsh and unsupportive when I find something dubious, but equally as usual I am happy to hear where I may be wrong.

    "Benefit of the doubt" is too tough for me when a post contradicts the posting history in major respects.
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2019
    Curae and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  10. HollyA23

    HollyA23 New commenter

    I have had a difficult few years in a previous setting - which involved a line manager not my colleagues. I’ve always got on well, felt like a team and had good communication (and lots of fun) with previous colleagues I’ve worked with in the classroom.
    Luckily in this situation there isn’t any unpleasantness, just something ‘missing,’ which I’ve not experienced before and it’s hard to put into words. Lots of commenters have given sensible advice, which is great.
  11. Curae

    Curae Star commenter

    Actually I quite like your matter of fact charm and wit ...keep it up @sbkrobson as variety is the spice of life.
    PGCE_tutor and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  12. minnie me

    minnie me Star commenter

    I assumed OP was a TA ? Anyway I think crucial to prioritise the needs of the students and work together professionally to get the best out of them ( however you interpret this ? ). Anything else is insupportable. Not so bad either to be pushed out of your comfort zone - rise to the challenge . This is the kind of approach we would be encouraging our students to adopt isn't it ?
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  13. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    My HoD and I were like chalk and cheese - sometimes we clashed, and on occasions we both sulked, sometimes for weeks on end. However, we worked together successfully and professionally for twenty years, never socialising outside school but both recognising and accepting that we were complementary opposites. When he retired I lasted only one more term before I got fed up with the school and quit my post for other things. In some ways that was the highest compliment I could pay him.
    Curae, grumpydogwoman and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  14. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I'm very exacting so I could always find fault with my TAs. In my head! Never voiced my dissatisfaction. I'm not stupid! When they had flaws I gave them something else to do and got them to concentrate on what they were good at.

    So I experienced the opposite. I had good ones but there was ALWAYS something missing. Mainly they weren't identical to me. That was their only problem. #onlykidding

    So you look for how they can complement you. As @magic surf bus did. What are their strengths? Get them to play to those. Then your team is even stronger.
  15. Curae

    Curae Star commenter

    Sort of couldn't work with him couldn't work without ...love this story and really relate to it.
  16. serenitypolly41

    serenitypolly41 Occasional commenter

    Even if this is true I hardly think its helpful to what the OP was asking for. Why drag up old posts to prove a point?

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