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When does it become rude ?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by tartetatin, Jun 4, 2011.

  1. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    I recently sent £50 through the post recently, split into two birthday cards for niece and nephew (Mr Tarte's side of family) - so £25 each, in a card.
    The woman at the post office seemed a wee bit shifty, so a few days later I texted their mum to ask if the money had arrived.
    No reply text, let alone a thanks.
    In laws,eh? They honestly make me wonder why I bother.
  2. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    Don't bother next time, would be my response, tt.
    The last time I (note the 'I' not 'we'!) lovingly picked out, bought and wrapped Christmas gifts for all the assorted outlaws (all 11 of them) we didn't so much as get a thank you in any way, shape or form from anyone.
    So next Christmas (and in fact every other Christmas since then) we (or should that be 'I'?) haven't bothered.
    Life is so much less complicated now. [​IMG]
  3. I don't think it's an old-fashioned expectation.
    My son got married the week after Easter. Their presents were all delivered together (John Lewis list) 10 days later. My daughter-in-law was concerned that everyone should receive a thank-you letter at the same time(in case anyone was offended at receiving theirs last), so she has been writing a few each evening since delivery. Last weekend there were still 8 left to write- so they have probably been sent by now. If your colleague has a similar number to write, maybe that explains the delay?
  4. I don't think it's an old fashioned expectation at all.
  5. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    I made sure I sent out thank you cards after our wedding. When we told people I was pregnant, some of our friends/family sent us presents then too and I made sure I sent a thank you card out straight away.
  6. I'm a big believer in sending thank yous. When I got married I read somewhere that thank you cards sould be sent within three months of the wedding. I nearly broke my fingers trying to write something personal on each card as generic thank you cards really annoy me (although not as much as not getting one at all!).
    Maybe your card got lost in the post? When I bulk posted my invitations (about 100) I know at least three people didn't receive theirs.

  7. my mum went mad at me when i hadn't sent out my thank you cards a fortnight after our wedding. she pointed out that we hadn't had a honeymoon and it was the summer holidays so what had i been doing if not writing and posting thank you cards....
    anyway, i divided the list of thank you cards in to my side/husband's side and i wrote and posted all mine. the thank you cards for OH's side are still sitting in a drawer waiting to be written 10 months later. i'm fairly certain his family and friends have given up waiting for one now.
  8. I attended a wedding last October, evening only, but still put £50 in a card. Not so much as a Facebook thank you! I find it really really annoying and rude. I thank everyone for anything I receive for myself, kids and Mr Nat.It doesn't take much does it. Courtesy and manners have left the building these days!!!!
  9. baitranger

    baitranger Occasional commenter

    In future when giving a wedding gift, enclose a note with the present stating (Tony Hancock style) that the present is conditional on your receiving by return of post a 4" badge with the words:" (insert name) gave generously so that (insert names) could live a happy married life and they are enternally grateful".
  10. Phoenixchild

    Phoenixchild Occasional commenter

    Is it actually possible to get fed up with shagging?
    But to answer the OP no it's not old fashioned to expect a thank you.xx
  11. I am a bit shocked by this tbh, surely the gifts were to both of you
  12. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    By expansion, then, both of them should participate in the thank-you card writing!
  13. If so, then as a joint activity

    Not a mine and his activity ... imo
  14. they were indeed so both of us had responsibility for writing the thank you cards!
    maybe it shouldn't have been a separate activity but i did ask him several times to sit down with me and write thank you cards but he was always too busy watching tv/playing x-box/chatting online that he was never willing to sit down and write them. so i gave up and sat and wrote the ones i'd allocated to me (and he'd agreed the split)

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