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What's wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Looby_Lou14, Mar 16, 2016.

  1. Looby_Lou14

    Looby_Lou14 New commenter

    I've not posted in personal before, so apologies if this isn't what this forum is for.

    I don't even know what I want to say as I type, forgive me if it ends up a bit of a thesis.

    Something is making me feel down and the moment and I don't know what it is. I work at a great school, colleagues who are wonderful friends, I'm in a relationship and we are currently living together but saving to buy. I have animals that I love and spend time with. I'm healthy (to a point!) my family are well...on the surface, everything is "fine".

    So why do I feel like crying all the time?

    My relationship is good. The only thing I can think of is that I don't see much of him due to a very long commute (2hrs each way) but when we are together everything is lovely.

    Work is fine, but I do feel a little bit messed around with being promised certain things and them not happening. I work my socks off and offer to do every event, parent events after school, things to do with other schools in our trust (which don't have a direct benefit for myself) but all in all there's nothing awful going on.

    I just feel so sad all the time and feel myself shutting myself away from my boyfriend and people I'm close to
  2. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Two hours each way? Four hours a day?


    Maybe make more time for you... can you get a job closer to home where the commute won't be sapping so much time? Maybe stop offering to do things if you aren't actually required to do them... you could be stressed out...

    Have you been in teaching long? Maybe ennui is striking? I'm getting that... there are days I just wonder what the point is, most kids behave, we do the work etc... but what's the point... it happens, we all get disenchanted...

    Make time at the weekend for you and your OH. Get out, go places, enjoy the world, especially as the weather improves.
    grumpydogwoman and sabrinakat like this.
  3. Didactylos4

    Didactylos4 Star commenter

    It could be any number of things and most of them are relatively minor and easy to fix
    Have you talked with your doctor yet?
    It is usually a good first step
  4. Jesmond12

    Jesmond12 Star commenter

    I would advise you to go and see your Doctor. This is a great place for getting help and advice.
  5. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    You've been reading too much TES!
  6. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I think it would be good for you to talk to a counsellor and dig into these feelings of yours a bit. I read a post of yours from another forum and you sound ambitious and driven but you've hit a hurdle in your career which might be a first for you. Successful people sometimes find it hard to deal with perceived failures. There is so much that's good in your life it is a real shame that you're feeling bad atm. You are extremely capable I would guess so you know you can deal with this, but engaging some help would be a good practical help. Pay for it to access it quickly if you can afford it.
    sabrinakat likes this.
  7. Jude Fawley

    Jude Fawley Star commenter

    I can recommend drugs and music.
  8. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    Yes it's a long time, but I had no choice but put up with it for most of my NHS career. I worked in London but couldn't afford to buy a house there so I lived around 30 miles away and commuted by coach. The first 20 miles of the journey in wasn't usually too bad, but the final ten miles of crawling through rush hour traffic took about an hour and a half. It might have been done in half an hour if it wasn't for the sodding cyclists.
  9. hasslethehog

    hasslethehog New commenter

    Make going to your GP a priority. Depression springs to mind, but it sounds like you're more interested in what's behind these feelings than a diagnosis - get talking therapy as soon as you can. There are various organisations who can support you to do this privately by covering part of the costs - and in a timeframe that's impossible on the NHS. Good luck and take care of yourself. Your health is your most important possession.
  10. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    And that's why I've avoided ever working in London.

    But yeah understandable... just not for me.
  11. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Wanting to cry (or just crying) all the time is indicative of depression - doesn't have to be a reason or any obvious trigger - just trying to do too much for too long can make it happen.

    Go see your GP.
    grumpydogwoman, nomad and Alf58 like this.
  12. dumpty

    dumpty Star commenter

    Do not work your socks off and offer to do every event - while there are noble colleagues who will offer to pay you back in some way sadly, as they are often suffering from the same workload, most will not. And you risk being abused rather than appreciated for this, which is how it sounds when you write you feel messed around with. Stop it - now.

    Paperwork - do what is asked of you, not a full stop more. Never hand it in before the deadline.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  13. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    The 2 hour commute says it all. I consider myself hard done by by my (provided I avoid rush hour) under 1 hour commute (record time is 34 mins.) Move closer or get a job closer!
    Dragonlady30 and grumpydogwoman like this.
  14. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    In a way, it's almost advantageous that you're able to cry. Crying is actually a natural stress reliever. When you cry, you're letting out emotions. Your body designed crying specifically to provide this level of stress relief.

    As @monicabilongame says, it is indicative of depression (or anxiety, which is closely related). In either case, a visit to your GP is appropriate. Do it now.
  15. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    I cried every day for about a year when my son left to live in Sydney. By then I was so dessicated I just had to get on with things.
  16. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    But that was a causal depression @Lascarina It made sense to you at the time.

    When you're depressed but feel guilty for being depressed because, by rights, you think you've no good REASON to feel depressed? Adds another dimension.

    Commute? AND you are a workaholic? Recipe for misery.

    Work/life balance. You don't have it @Looby_Lou14 You may think that, at this stage in your career, it's more important to press on with work. I'd say you're wrong.

    A/ you're a long time dead
    B/ nobody ever had 'wish I'd spent longer at work' on their headstone
  17. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    I misread that as 'casual' and was about to make a crisp rejoinder. :)
  18. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I had a colleague who would cry with frustration. She'd be talking quite rationally while tears flowed down her face. She was a controlling person and couldn't bear it when things did not work out as she had planned. Does this ring any bells OP. Hope you're feeling better today.
  19. Looby_Lou14

    Looby_Lou14 New commenter

    Thank you all, for your lovely replies. I think I have admitted defeat, and I am now searching for jobs closer to home. I will also make an appointment with my doctor- I think burnout is a cause as well.

    Once again thank you all :)
  20. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Thanks for coming back on to tell us how you are. I was thinking about you and your thread today. It's not admitting defeat . . . it's recognising that you deserve a better quality of life and that you value yourself more than a mere job that can be replaced.
    delnon and grumpydogwoman like this.

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