Hi all, I'm not sure what I want from posting this. Maybe just solidarity. Maybe some tips. Maybe I just need to vent. I am still an NQT despite finishing my PGCE in March 2014. I started working a free school straight away. I loved the ethos of the school and got on well with staff. Over the next few months though, it got extremely difficult for various reasons including workload, being given management responsibility without the support OR pay, constantly changing goalposts and becoming the target of a bully in the SLT. I became quite unwell and eventually left with 2 terms of my NQT completed. I went on supply and found this much less stressful but poorly paid and insecure. I took on a long term position but when I was asked to stay for the year I turned it down as I had seen yet more evidence of bullying/catty behaviour in this school and also didn't feel it was fair to be getting my same rubbish daily rate on a long term job with a lot of responsibility. Now I have a contract on a part time jobshare. I am in a year group that I have little experience of and find the curriculum a struggle at times. Jobsharing is very hard. I can only account for what happens on my days but that's not how it works out in reality. We had a book scrutiny the other day and some days weren't marked. I know that wasn't me but it feels petty to say so. The marking is insane and takes over my life. I have a high level of SEN with a big class and little support. One boy is supposed to get 1:1 all the time but doesn't get this in the afternoon. TAs don't always do as I've asked and come back from dinners and breaks late and stand about chatting at the back of the class. I feel like I am failing children because there just isn't the time or support to help them all as they are a very poor, needy class. Apparently my TA is going to get pulled in the afternoons and I feel that with the level of need in my class, especially as one is supposed to have 1:1, it is unsafe and is further failing the children. My timetable is such a squeeze that I already don't have time to teach what I'm supposed to. I am contracted to 16th December but am tempted to just walk away as I don't feel like I can achieve anything in this situation. I don't know why everything I have tried in teaching has been such a disaster but now I feel completely at a loss. I really try my best and spend so much of my time trying to make things work for all of the children but there is always something that comes up or goes wrong. I just don't think it's for me as I just cannot make it work.