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What to do

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by TinksB, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. TinksB

    TinksB New commenter

    It's taking a lot for me to write this so please bare with me if I'm not making sense. Lately I haven't been feeling myself. I feel anxious whenever I think about school & panick when I head into school. I really don't feel like I can face going in everyday & cry on my return home every night, even if it hasn't been a bad day. I constantly feel like a failure & useless to the point where I'm self-harming & have suicidal thoughts (Ibe felt like this in the past & actually went ahead with an attempted suicide). I'm not paying attention in any area of my life at the moment, Im struggling to make decisions (not good when you're a teacher) & I'm struggle to get through the day & just don't feel happy at all. I know the job has a lot to do with but my family have always wanted me to be a teacher so whenever I approach the subject of leaving it gets knocked down straight away. My partner thinks all I need to do is focus on nice things to look forward to but he can't seem to understand that I'm not looking forward to anything right now. I usually love Xmas & become a big kid the moment December hits but I just don't care this year. I think I need help but I don't know what to do or where to go. Sorry if this doesn't make sense but I needed to get how I feel down somewhere
  2. Ruthie66

    Ruthie66 New commenter

    08457 90 90 90 This is the number for Samaritans - give them a call if you need to talk. Call in sick tomorrow and make an appointment to see your doctor first thing. If you are self harming and feeling suicidal then you need some help and support. I know that self-harming can be a coping strategy but that coupled with the suicidal thoughts means that you need some urgent help.

    Take care and keep us updated

  3. Sportycb

    Sportycb New commenter

    I know my situation is not exactly the same as you as I didn't have any self harm. I just resorted to tears every time I associated something to the school. What I did learn is you need to get as far as possible from. You need to start afresh and start making possitive associations to the school and teaching.

    Do you know what started this?
  4. CagedBird

    CagedBird New commenter

    You need to follow Ruthie's and Sporty's advice. Put yourself first - your mental health and general wellbeing must be your priorities. You are probably not doing your best in the classroom anyway, feeling as you do, so take a break and get yourself right. And if teaching is not right for you - GET OUT - why the hell stay in a job that's making you so unhappy just because yor family want you to?? Also, sit your partner down and get him to understand the depth of your distress, which will not be helped by looking forward to something nice. People generally don't understand how debilitating depression and anxiety are unless they've experienced them, so you need to start telling those close to you how bad you feel and seek some help.

    Do find some strength somewhere to take control of this situation and get yourself well.

    Hugs x
  5. cate50

    cate50 New commenter

    First things first........

    Right now, this second you are going to read my next line and then go away from the computer and find a phone:

    1. Call your GP and ask for an emergency appointment (Yes it is an emergency. Don't argue!)

    I hope you did that and are now reading this with a date and time for an appointment??????????????

    2. Ask your partner to go with you to the GP. Go in by yourself to start with and try as you have above to discuss your issue....maybe even just print this thread??

    3. Ask your GP to speak to your partner.

    4. As Ruthie66 says add Smaritans to your phone book NOW so that when you next scrawl through looking for that person who won't be "bored of you" or "too busy" too care there is absolutely 100% someone who will listen and talk to you.

    5. Do exactly as your GP advises. Let him/her make the hard decisions for a while. You have been carrying the can for too long.

    6. Don't make career decisions right now. For no other reason that actually at this moment in time your job is totally unimportant compared to your health!

    7. Hopefully your GP will have signed you off, maybe prescribed meds and possibly referred for counselling. so now you need to sleep. eat. see supportive friends. go and have a sauna. read a book. eat. sleep. repeat. gradually add things in.

    8. when you feel calm and strong enough get your family and friends together. Provide some leaflets (from Samaritans/your GP/Mind) and hand them out. You don't even have to speak if it is too hard.

    9. keep talking. to us. to your GP. to your family and friends.

    10. the only thing you need to think or worry about now is you. write the words "It's all about ME" in soap on your mirror, on the back of your hand, inside your fridge, in your car on the visor.

    I will stop being bossy now.....but sometimes when we cannot see the light clearly ourselves we need a clear set of instructions to follow. I hope I haven't come across as too hard. I care very much but I know that I needed someone to actually TELL me what to do. I would never have managed by myself.

    Much love.


    P.s....If you haven't done Number 1......DO IT!!!! NOW!
  6. Hi,

    I have just read you post, having just returned from my GP about work related

    stress/depression. I have been teaching for 13 years and it never ceases to amaze how little teachers put our own well-being first. Teaching is incredibly stressful - just think of all the judgements you have to make one day. You are constantly responding to the needs of others, i.e. students, parents, other colleagues, management, governors and the government. How many other professions do you have to have to multi-task to such a level and deliver on results at the same time? And there is email which has put even bigger demands upon us. I have stopped replying to emails immediately and now wait at least 24 hours before I do so.

    So, do not be hard on yourself, contact the Samaritans and see your GP. If he/she prescribes anti-depressents, take them. They will help with your anxiety and panic attacks. You just need to give them a chance to kick in. Also, get hold of a copy of a really good book by Dr Tim Catopher, don't be put off by the title 'Depressive Illness - The Curse of the Strong". It is both reassuring and informative. Cantopher is a psychiatrist. One particular piece of advice he gives is to not make any major life-altering decisions if you are suffering from stress related depression. It sounds as if you are in teaching for the wrong reasons but I would wait until you are in a better place before you make the decision to leave. I was seriously handing in my notice this week, mainly due to class number and work load, but need to feel better about myself before I make a career change. Like you I feel under pressure from another party to remain in the profession but it is you rife and time that you are giving. Your GP will give you time off to rest and to simply get better so that you can make your next move with a clear mind.

    I wish you well.
  7. TinksB

    TinksB New commenter

    Thank you everyone for your advice, support & telling what I need to do - I really need it right now. I want to go to the doctor but I just don't know how to explain it or where to begin. Then it'll be talking to my SLT about it when they're not very understanding of things like this. I'm just so scared of letting people down & their comments. Plenty of people are able to deal with the stress of this job but I just can't anymore. It's taking over my life.
  8. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Why not print off a copy of your original post to show your GP? I think you need to be signed off and given a chance to recover a little of your former strength.

    Don't rush into any hasty decisions, you are entitled to a generous period of sickness absence from the workplace, so take it. xx
  9. cornflake

    cornflake Senior commenter

    Please go to your GP. As for not knowing what to say - that's your opening line. If your GP is any good, they will ask the right questions. From what you describe, you have stress/depression. I was here this time last year - and have been able to continue working - but everyone is different. I'm a Head teacher. After your GP, talk to your HT. We are human you know - well some of us are at least! If you had cancer you'd talk to the Head - this is no different. You are poorly and need the right support to get better. You can probably also get support through your local authority or union
  10. cornflake

    cornflake Senior commenter

    I'm going to correct that: cancer of course is different - I just want to emphasise that you are ill. And potentially it is life threatening. Only by more people talking about mental illness will people begin to understand it is nothing that should be hidden. Anyone who is caught in the fog needs help
  11. jonowen

    jonowen Occasional commenter

    Hi Tinks, hope you are feeling a bit better now. I can't add any advice but please see your GP, talk to your family and don't make any big decisions at this time re your career. You say you have been a teacher for 13 years - can you spot when you stopped enjoying your job? Can you think of some times when you know you did a good job and focus on those times. Teachers are all too quick to put themselves down and not say "Yeh, I did a good job there".

    I think you are a victim of your own success. You have been a fab teacher, appearing as one who never fails or gives up and therefore letting others see you as successful and never one to need help. Just like Cornflake compared mental health issues to cancer - these illnesses happen with no warning or choice of who is struck down by them.

    Sorry to rant on and hope I've made some sense - let us know how you are doing.

    Joni xx

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