Since going back after the holidays, I've been so up and down emotionally. I had trouble with planning over the holidays and felt very unprepared on the inset day, so I started the day off in floods of tears. I'm only in my second year of teaching and didn't get much support as an NQT, so I really struggle with planning and marking and nothing anyone says seems to help me or make things seem simpler without feeling guilty about taking shortcuts. I overcomplicate everything but feel if I don't I feel guilty. I'm so up and down at the moment. I'm getting married this summer and I've just sold my house, so there are so many good things to think about, but when my head's on work I'm just constantly telling myself I'm not good enough and I just want to break down and cry. Some days I'm better than others, and on the good days I just think about how silly I've been! Its a state of mind and a self-esteem issue. Its nothing to do with work itself as in a better state of mind everything is going ok, but I just can't seem to control my mind and as soon as I let myself dwell on something negative, I just go into a downward spiral and I just want to walk out/break down. My fiance doesn't understand and is worried that I'll show my colleagues how incapable I am of doing the job emotionally, and they'd put me in capability. I'm too scared to see a doctor as both my fiance and close family seem to think its something I can 'snap out of' and shouldnt show myself as weak towards my Headteacher. They have a point, but how much longer can I go on like this? How do I get my self-esteem back? As I say I have good days and bad days, but when I have a bad day I literally torture myself and have broken down in front of colleagues before. I'm scared of myself and what I'll do if I let myself get so down, which happens often. I just don't know what to do. Im writing this from a more positive state of mind but Im worried what the week will bring and I'm scared of my emotions! I feel I maybe need to see a doctor but maybe I'm OK, maybe I'm being silly. I'd have to hide it from others around me. I've just spent my weekend feeling so happy and excited about our wedding, but back to thinking about work again today andI've felt Iow again. I just don't know what to do!!