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What to do for the best?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Bur79, Nov 26, 2014.

  1. Bur79

    Bur79 New commenter

    Hi, this is my first time posting so please be gentle lol. I went to see my gp at half term as i was feeling low, tearful, anxious etc and she prescribed me Citalopram which has helped slightly but still feeling really low and very anxious at work re obs, deadlines etc. I haven't spoken to anyone at work about this although I did have a little melt down following a recent observation (which went well but just found it hard work). I am scared they will think I've been faking it and/or think I'm not coping well. My issues are a mixture of home and work related, i have had several bereavements in the past 2 years and a major relationship breakdown 4 years ago which i have never really dealt properly with any of these issues. We are due OFSTED soon following HMI for the past 18months as the school was in special measures. I joined the school last year and part of my role/responsibility was to deal with one of the key issues from the inadequate OFSTED. I feel that I don't want to work there any more and would like to change career etc but I feel like I can't do anything until OFSTED have been and gone as that would leave the school is the **** and I would have to work until Easter now with everyone hating me. My main worry is making it to and through the OFSTED,, and I know I'm not performing at my best and like I'm letting the school down by staying. I am not off sick and gp hasn't made any suggestion of signing me off, although I feel like I am struggling. Would anyone offer me some advice? Should i tell my HT/colleagues? should i stay or go? Sorry for the long and rambling post I'm not sure any of it makes much sense!
     
  2. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    People leave jobs every day. No one would thank you but they will fill the gap. If colleagues are cross with you - they may or may not be - does that matter much. The only reason to stay is your reference I think, so think about what you can do to ensure a decent one. Stop worrying about what other people will say / think, it's your life.
     
  3. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Try and see things in little bitesize chunks and hurdles to get over, for now. This is the hardest term of the year and everyone is tired and ready for the Christmas break.

    It isn't your fault the school is in SM - just do your best, rise above it, formulate an exit plan and say sod it!

    You are not letting the school down and people leave all the time. Now, just concentrate on making it to the end of term, stop beating yourself up for problems not of your making and look after yourself. It's just a job - a means to pay the bills - you and your health come first.
     
  4. Bur79

    Bur79 New commenter

    Thank you for replies, I am very grateful for your advice and support. I feel that I know what I want, but doing it and living with the consequences (other staff will be very angry and feel let down by my departure) for the next 3 months is another thing. I wonder if the guilt I would feel would be worse than how I feel at the moment and if the atmosphere would make me feel worse? I was employed directly to deal with these key issues and would be leaving before OFSTED return- therefore not 'seeing the job through'. I am also concerned that my reference will be affected- as in I've jumped ship and let people down/been selfish etc. should I tell SLT about my stress/anxiety/depression or keep it to myself? Could this have a bearing on future employment? What have people's experiences of this been? Thank you
     
  5. Bur79

    Bur79 New commenter

    Well it's happened, had a dreadful obs today and a mini meltdown with an SLT member. Have just driven home in tears all the way and feel at rock bottom. Really want to go back on Monday and hand in my notice, but am so tired to even write it, plus not sure what to do really as even resigning will mean I have to be there until April anyway so not much of a solution for how I am at the moment.
     
  6. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    So sorry. I can empathise because I have been there. You are not well at the moment and need to go back to your drs for a sicknote for some breathing room and to recover. This will allow you time to think if you really need to resign. If you decide you do, you can take as much sick leave as you need 100 days FT and 100 days PT. You don't need to resign until 28th Feb. Take care
     

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