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What they don't tell you about pregnancy (article)

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by anon4046, Mar 6, 2009.

  1. I found this when I googling 'painful/sensitive genitals' (yes, I thought there was something wrong with me, but apparently it's normal in pregnancy. Hurrah! )
    It made me feel a bit better, in the sense I'm not the only one having less than rosy feelings about pregnancy....


    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">"When
    you announce to the world you&rsquo;re having a baby, the initial responses
    you get will be ones of surprise, excitement and congratulations. And
    once the initial baby frenzy dies down, be prepared for nine months of
    you and your body becoming public property. Although almost every woman
    will have a child at some point in her life, it&rsquo;s amazing that
    pregnancy is seen as an oddity; something to be gazed at, pondered,
    commented upon and queried.
    </font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">And
    while everyone will give you advice on your pregnancy, from the helpful
    ("rest while you can because you won&rsquo;t get any when the baby comes"),
    to the ludicrous ("make sure you ask for an epidural because my
    sister&rsquo;s obstetrician said women&rsquo;s bodies aren&rsquo;t made to have their
    babies naturally the first time"); nothing can prepare you for the
    journey that lays ahead of you.</font>




    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Although
    some women will cheerfully tell you about the agonizing 20 hour labor
    they went through when the anesthetist put the epidural in wrong and
    the baby was born via emergency caesarian section, or the umbilical
    cord was wrapped around its neck three times, or the baby was a forceps
    delivery and their vagina has never been the same since; there are some
    things about pregnancy that people won&rsquo;t tell you.</font>




    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">You are the elected spokesperson for your kind.


    As a pregnant woman, you will become the spokesperson for all
    pregnant women. Your opinion on pregnancy, labor, birthing plans, pain
    relief during labor and generally anything vaguely to do with pregnancy
    will be sought, and comparisons between you and any other known
    pregnant women will be mandatory.</font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Your body is no longer your own.

    And I&rsquo;m not talking about that littler person living inside you. As if
    it&rsquo;s not enough that your body has been robbed to nourish and grow this
    tiny human inside you, you&rsquo;re external body is now public property. Be
    prepared for your body shape and size to be constantly compared to
    other pregnant women, and for people to comment on whether you are
    bigger or smaller than other pregnant women. "Kath&rsquo;s seven months
    pregnant like Sarah, but Kath&rsquo;s a fair bit bigger, I think." And get
    ready for the grabby hands that want to touch and feel "the baby".
    Never mind that your body is between their hands and the baby - that
    doesn&rsquo;t seem to matter. Acquaintances and strangers will coo in wonder
    over your expanding belly, and often reach out for a touch. If I was
    feeling particularly protective of myself and my baby, I&rsquo;d fend the
    hands away, often receiving looks of hurt indignation. Or if I was
    feeling cheeky I&rsquo;d reach out and give their stomach a rub too, or I&rsquo;d
    offer my swollen breasts for a touch, because "Hey, they&rsquo;ve grown as
    well!" </font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">You are now "Mom".

    This one was particularly hard for me to handle, with the pregnancy of
    my first child. Everyone wants to call you "Mom". The first time our
    receptionist at work said, "Hi Mommy!" as I walked into the office in
    the morning, I thought it was quite sweet. However, when work
    colleagues from a different department started calling me "Mom" I was
    mortified. Although people think it&rsquo;s funny and cute, I found it
    frightening (some day soon I was going to be a mother, I wouldn&rsquo;t be my
    own person any more) and annoying (I wasn&rsquo;t their mother, was I?).</font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Trapped!

    When you&rsquo;re pregnant, you&rsquo;re completely beholden to a person who isn&rsquo;t
    even a person yet. You change your lifestyle: you give up drinking
    and/or smoking, you cut back on caffeine, you don&rsquo;t eat soft cheeses or
    raw fish, and your body starts to tell you in no uncertain way that you
    are not in charge any more. Morning sickness, which actually means
    throwing up every morning and then feeling vaguely queasy with heart
    burn for the rest of the day, and constant trips to the bathroom in the
    early days of pregnancy slowly give way to an expanding waistline,
    shortness of breath, tiredness, irritability and general discomfort at
    being the size of a house. The excitement of impending birth is mixed
    with feelings of fear and dread, as you wonder just how much longer you
    can keep functioning as a human incubator.</font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Stretch Marks &ndash; On My What?

    We all know about stretch marks. In fact, many women get stretch marks
    just going through puberty. So I was all prepared for the fact that in
    the last few months of pregnancy, I might get stretch marks on my
    stomach. But what I wasn&rsquo;t prepared for was stretch marks on my
    breasts! In the early weeks of my pregnancy my small and pert breasts
    took on a life of their own, growing from a 32B to a 34D in the space
    of two weeks. Not only was I in agony as my skin battled to accommodate
    the rapid change in volume, but I suddenly had to deal with tiny little
    silver snail-trails creeping their way across my ever-expanding bosom.
    Although I finally had the big boobs I&rsquo;d spent so many nights as a
    flat-chested teenager dreaming about, they were now so sore and swollen
    I couldn&rsquo;t bare to touch them!
    </font>


    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Gross Out!
    If
    you don&rsquo;t want to be grossed out, stop reading here, but if you&rsquo;re
    about to have a baby, you need to know the truth. Hemorrhoids are the
    bane of a pregnant woman&rsquo;s life. Because there&rsquo;s so much pressure from
    your growing baby constantly bearing down, and the fact that many
    pregnant women experience constipation, you&rsquo;re probably going to have
    to deal with hemorrhoids. The best thing you can do is take the
    pressure off when you can, (lying down with your feet up helps) and
    invest in one of those kiddy steps for the toilet. Ask any ergonomics
    expert &ndash; our toilets are too high off the ground for comfortable
    "evacuation". By using the kiddy stool you&rsquo;re raising your feet and
    knees, which helps to open up any cavities that need a little help.</font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Swollen
    genitals. there, I said it! Of all the things other women won&rsquo;t tell
    you about pregnancy, this is the big one. The amount of blood in your
    body increases by 50 percent during pregnancy, and this, combined with
    weight gain and fluid retention, can lead to swollen, sensitive
    genitals. My obstetrician referred to it as "getting juicy" which I
    found a little disturbing in itself, but incredibly accurate. Just like
    fruit ripening, as you grow into your pregnancy everything about your
    body gets softer, and looser and, well, juicier! </font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Hurry Up, Already!

    The last four weeks of my first pregnancy felt like four years. Having
    a summer baby meant long hot days with my own personal furnace keeping
    me boiling hot, and never being able to get comfortable. The insomnia
    that meant I spent hours awake at night seemed like a cruel joke on the
    part of Mother Nature, given that I knew I&rsquo;d be without sleep once the
    baby arrived, and just added to the seemingly endless days of waiting
    for this new person to arrive. Just like a long-awaited holiday, the
    final lead up to the birth of a baby is often a time of annoyance and
    irritability.
    </font>


    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Pure and Unadulterated Love.
    OK,
    it might sound schmaltzy and sentimental, but I&rsquo;ve saved the best for
    last. I don&rsquo;t want you to think all the secrets about pregnancy and
    childbirth are negative ones. All the discomfort, the doubts and the
    bad things I&rsquo;ve mentioned about pregnancy are swept away when you first
    see your new baby, and even if they wanted to, no-one can accurately
    tell you what this feels like.</font>


    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">After
    the physical and emotional journey you&rsquo;ve spent nine months traveling,
    culminating in one of the most life-altering moments you&rsquo;ll ever go
    through, and one of the last purely "animal" experiences we as
    civilized people encounter in our lives, there are no words to describe
    the mixture of relief, exhaustion, pride, excitement, happiness,
    sadness, joy and love you feel upon meeting this new human being. Sure,
    the sleepless nights, the crying jags (both you and the baby), the
    endless feedings and the mountain of dirty nappies can put a dampener
    on all this, but for that first moment, that pure feeling of knowing
    that you created this person is indescribable." </font>

     
  2. I found this when I googling 'painful/sensitive genitals' (yes, I thought there was something wrong with me, but apparently it's normal in pregnancy. Hurrah! )
    It made me feel a bit better, in the sense I'm not the only one having less than rosy feelings about pregnancy....


    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">"When
    you announce to the world you&rsquo;re having a baby, the initial responses
    you get will be ones of surprise, excitement and congratulations. And
    once the initial baby frenzy dies down, be prepared for nine months of
    you and your body becoming public property. Although almost every woman
    will have a child at some point in her life, it&rsquo;s amazing that
    pregnancy is seen as an oddity; something to be gazed at, pondered,
    commented upon and queried.
    </font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">And
    while everyone will give you advice on your pregnancy, from the helpful
    ("rest while you can because you won&rsquo;t get any when the baby comes"),
    to the ludicrous ("make sure you ask for an epidural because my
    sister&rsquo;s obstetrician said women&rsquo;s bodies aren&rsquo;t made to have their
    babies naturally the first time"); nothing can prepare you for the
    journey that lays ahead of you.</font>




    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Although
    some women will cheerfully tell you about the agonizing 20 hour labor
    they went through when the anesthetist put the epidural in wrong and
    the baby was born via emergency caesarian section, or the umbilical
    cord was wrapped around its neck three times, or the baby was a forceps
    delivery and their vagina has never been the same since; there are some
    things about pregnancy that people won&rsquo;t tell you.</font>




    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">You are the elected spokesperson for your kind.


    As a pregnant woman, you will become the spokesperson for all
    pregnant women. Your opinion on pregnancy, labor, birthing plans, pain
    relief during labor and generally anything vaguely to do with pregnancy
    will be sought, and comparisons between you and any other known
    pregnant women will be mandatory.</font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Your body is no longer your own.

    And I&rsquo;m not talking about that littler person living inside you. As if
    it&rsquo;s not enough that your body has been robbed to nourish and grow this
    tiny human inside you, you&rsquo;re external body is now public property. Be
    prepared for your body shape and size to be constantly compared to
    other pregnant women, and for people to comment on whether you are
    bigger or smaller than other pregnant women. "Kath&rsquo;s seven months
    pregnant like Sarah, but Kath&rsquo;s a fair bit bigger, I think." And get
    ready for the grabby hands that want to touch and feel "the baby".
    Never mind that your body is between their hands and the baby - that
    doesn&rsquo;t seem to matter. Acquaintances and strangers will coo in wonder
    over your expanding belly, and often reach out for a touch. If I was
    feeling particularly protective of myself and my baby, I&rsquo;d fend the
    hands away, often receiving looks of hurt indignation. Or if I was
    feeling cheeky I&rsquo;d reach out and give their stomach a rub too, or I&rsquo;d
    offer my swollen breasts for a touch, because "Hey, they&rsquo;ve grown as
    well!" </font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">You are now "Mom".

    This one was particularly hard for me to handle, with the pregnancy of
    my first child. Everyone wants to call you "Mom". The first time our
    receptionist at work said, "Hi Mommy!" as I walked into the office in
    the morning, I thought it was quite sweet. However, when work
    colleagues from a different department started calling me "Mom" I was
    mortified. Although people think it&rsquo;s funny and cute, I found it
    frightening (some day soon I was going to be a mother, I wouldn&rsquo;t be my
    own person any more) and annoying (I wasn&rsquo;t their mother, was I?).</font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Trapped!

    When you&rsquo;re pregnant, you&rsquo;re completely beholden to a person who isn&rsquo;t
    even a person yet. You change your lifestyle: you give up drinking
    and/or smoking, you cut back on caffeine, you don&rsquo;t eat soft cheeses or
    raw fish, and your body starts to tell you in no uncertain way that you
    are not in charge any more. Morning sickness, which actually means
    throwing up every morning and then feeling vaguely queasy with heart
    burn for the rest of the day, and constant trips to the bathroom in the
    early days of pregnancy slowly give way to an expanding waistline,
    shortness of breath, tiredness, irritability and general discomfort at
    being the size of a house. The excitement of impending birth is mixed
    with feelings of fear and dread, as you wonder just how much longer you
    can keep functioning as a human incubator.</font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Stretch Marks &ndash; On My What?

    We all know about stretch marks. In fact, many women get stretch marks
    just going through puberty. So I was all prepared for the fact that in
    the last few months of pregnancy, I might get stretch marks on my
    stomach. But what I wasn&rsquo;t prepared for was stretch marks on my
    breasts! In the early weeks of my pregnancy my small and pert breasts
    took on a life of their own, growing from a 32B to a 34D in the space
    of two weeks. Not only was I in agony as my skin battled to accommodate
    the rapid change in volume, but I suddenly had to deal with tiny little
    silver snail-trails creeping their way across my ever-expanding bosom.
    Although I finally had the big boobs I&rsquo;d spent so many nights as a
    flat-chested teenager dreaming about, they were now so sore and swollen
    I couldn&rsquo;t bare to touch them!
    </font>


    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Gross Out!
    If
    you don&rsquo;t want to be grossed out, stop reading here, but if you&rsquo;re
    about to have a baby, you need to know the truth. Hemorrhoids are the
    bane of a pregnant woman&rsquo;s life. Because there&rsquo;s so much pressure from
    your growing baby constantly bearing down, and the fact that many
    pregnant women experience constipation, you&rsquo;re probably going to have
    to deal with hemorrhoids. The best thing you can do is take the
    pressure off when you can, (lying down with your feet up helps) and
    invest in one of those kiddy steps for the toilet. Ask any ergonomics
    expert &ndash; our toilets are too high off the ground for comfortable
    "evacuation". By using the kiddy stool you&rsquo;re raising your feet and
    knees, which helps to open up any cavities that need a little help.</font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Swollen
    genitals. there, I said it! Of all the things other women won&rsquo;t tell
    you about pregnancy, this is the big one. The amount of blood in your
    body increases by 50 percent during pregnancy, and this, combined with
    weight gain and fluid retention, can lead to swollen, sensitive
    genitals. My obstetrician referred to it as "getting juicy" which I
    found a little disturbing in itself, but incredibly accurate. Just like
    fruit ripening, as you grow into your pregnancy everything about your
    body gets softer, and looser and, well, juicier! </font>



    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Hurry Up, Already!

    The last four weeks of my first pregnancy felt like four years. Having
    a summer baby meant long hot days with my own personal furnace keeping
    me boiling hot, and never being able to get comfortable. The insomnia
    that meant I spent hours awake at night seemed like a cruel joke on the
    part of Mother Nature, given that I knew I&rsquo;d be without sleep once the
    baby arrived, and just added to the seemingly endless days of waiting
    for this new person to arrive. Just like a long-awaited holiday, the
    final lead up to the birth of a baby is often a time of annoyance and
    irritability.
    </font>


    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">Pure and Unadulterated Love.
    OK,
    it might sound schmaltzy and sentimental, but I&rsquo;ve saved the best for
    last. I don&rsquo;t want you to think all the secrets about pregnancy and
    childbirth are negative ones. All the discomfort, the doubts and the
    bad things I&rsquo;ve mentioned about pregnancy are swept away when you first
    see your new baby, and even if they wanted to, no-one can accurately
    tell you what this feels like.</font>


    <font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif" size="2">After
    the physical and emotional journey you&rsquo;ve spent nine months traveling,
    culminating in one of the most life-altering moments you&rsquo;ll ever go
    through, and one of the last purely "animal" experiences we as
    civilized people encounter in our lives, there are no words to describe
    the mixture of relief, exhaustion, pride, excitement, happiness,
    sadness, joy and love you feel upon meeting this new human being. Sure,
    the sleepless nights, the crying jags (both you and the baby), the
    endless feedings and the mountain of dirty nappies can put a dampener
    on all this, but for that first moment, that pure feeling of knowing
    that you created this person is indescribable." </font>

     
  3. mermy

    mermy New commenter

  4. Just found this and loved it, so thought I'd bump it up!
     
  5. It is a great article!
     
  6. What an utterly fabulous post. It is beautifully written and filled with all the info nobody gives you about pregnancy! I applaud you coffee kid as this is so well written and so true and at 7 months pregnant following a crappy week at work (satisfactory lesson observation soaked in hard work, tears and disappointment :-( ) exactly what I needed to read! :)

    Thank you, I am now looking forward to those indescribable feelings of joy secure in the knowledge that others have been through all that I have and not beamed radiantly through every solitary second. I no longer feel guilty for wondering what on earth was/is happening to me and whether the feelings (both emotional and physical) which I'm experiencing are normal.

    I hope that all is well with your family.

    :-D a fellow pregnant teacher.
     
  7. Brilliant post! Can I add too lochia-I had large clots the size of a plum and thought I was dying!!! It's not in any baby book but when I panicked and asked other mothers - it happens! X
     

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