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What level would you give this please? Just out of interest :-)

Discussion in 'Primary' started by getrichquick, Mar 26, 2011.

  1. I know it's only one piece of writing, and you don't know the child, but just out of interest, what level do you think you'd give this? I've typed it exactly as it's written:

    I see the flaming hot Sun in the gargantuas, blue sky as bright as 50 lamps. The glistning sky is filled with birds swooping up and down above the bright green tress, large but faithful. In the wind, leaves hover above me. The clouds blow past me. The gorgeus flowers gleam in the reflection of the sun like rubies. The grass is extremely tall, it's deep like a swimming pool. I see a barbicue with steam.

    I smell the air around me like scented candles. The flowers burst out, lovely, calming scents. Grassy scents creep throughout the field like mice. I can smell steak grilling on the barbicue.

    I can hear the beautiful tune of songbirds like an orchestra. The wind is blowing the tress, russtling the branches. The green grass is swishing round and round like a washing machine.

    I can touch the soggy grass as it slips through my fingers. I feel the wind blow in my face like a fan. I am holding a beautiful daisy with white petals. I feel the dry barbicue.
  2. Just out of interest what year group is this piece of writing from? I'm an NQT and haven't got the grasp of leveling on reading yet but will pull out my paperwork and have a think.
  3. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    What is the purpose of this wirting? They are obviously trying bery hard with their descriptions, and their spelling is not too bad - an awareness of purpose/audience/function would b the next thing to look for?
  4. The child is in Year 5 and they were asked to describe a scene, using a picture as a visual prompt. I didn't specify the audience.

  5. Ok I'll bite and go first-

    A good 3- there are elements of 4 but not enough for me in this piece of writing as it appears here.
  6. I agree with Olivia (a good 3). Not enough variety in sentence starters and sentence structure to get a 4.
  7. I'd probably give it a mid level 3.

    What would stop me giving it any higher is that there is limited punctuation, no sentence openers and the sentences aren't particularly complex. To get a better mark I'd like to see a more flowing movement between the sentences and connections.
  8. markuss

    markuss Occasional commenter

    Can't level it. This could appear in almost any level of body of evidence - either a good piece in a low level folder or a poor one in a good folder.
    Would say could become a good writer. Needs to learn control and to write more naturally. The comparisons grate terribly.
  9. Yes it would depend on that/infant, junior or primary school.
    Well yes of course- what we're here for isn't it?
    Of course you can- it's all a game!
  10. 3b.
    Sorry ....
    Much of it is not coherent - just 'wow words' strung together without any comprehension. Sentence structure is dull.
  11. veritytrue

    veritytrue New commenter

    Not a bit of prep for the y5 optionals by any chance...
  12. Thanks for the replies so far. Don't be sorry Gertie, I asked for your judgement and I got it, so I don't mind. As far as prepping for the optionals goes, we do big writing each week (although this week it had to be quite a bit shorter) and we haven't done much on just descriptions alone, hence the purpose of this text.
  13. bed

    bed New commenter

    I concur with most others - a secure 3 with elements of higher 3 and some nicely extended descriptive sentences from level4.
    But - even with paragraph breaks I would be reluctant to give it more than 3b - but it does seem about right for a year 5 child.
    Taken with other pieces this child could well be a level 3a.
    Make sure you look at a few other pieces of independent writing before you give the pupil a level judgement.
    It would appear to me that it's a fairly ok/average child trying to respond to a tricky prompt.
    Assess all the independent writing you can to give a jusdgement.


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