It's 3 am and yet again I am awake. I have had what is now becoming my nightly cry (the last one was just before I left for work yesterday). I genuinely feel like I am falling appart! I have a nice group of children - no shortage of needs but no one who required peeling off the ceiling every day. I have spoken to my colleagues about how I am feeling and they have felt the same way at times so I've been waiting for this to pass. So far it has been about 2 months and I am genuinely not sure I can cling on until Xmas. Unsurprisingly, my body is not a happy bunny and I constantly feel ill, and as a result feel guilty for needing to take even MORE time off. I genuinely do not know what to do. I asked my colleagues what made them stay in this job when they were feeling like this and one said that if you can help just one child, the greatness of the reward outweighed all the rest and another said you just need to identify the 'undesired' bits and work out how to overcome those one at a time. Now, I don't know if I'm just made of the wrong stuff for teaching but I am finding it difficult enough to continue with daily teaching let alone care about the children (I know it sounds harsh but I really feel like I'm flailing). I don't mean to write a load of self-pitying tosh but if anyone can give me some good advice or how I can get myself sorted, I'd really appreciate it as I am really doubting my ability to fulfil my contract and it's not good for me and more importantly, its not good for the children!