Just posted an 'screaming at partner' anecdote on another thread and now I'm snorting away to myself about all the idiotic things I said while in labour. These included the classic, "No, I'm not doing it, sorry. I'm going home now. Husband, pass me my handbag, it's got the car keys in it". "Just pull him out by his ears for ***** sake!" (to poor midwife when she gave me the depressing news that I was a thrilling seven centimetres dilated after eighteen hours). "I don't like that man. I feel sick. I'll be sick on him, that'll teach him" (whispered very audibly to husband about doctor. Who was in the room at the time.) Come on, tell me your stories!