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What else apart from talking it out?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Teafrog79, Feb 28, 2013.

  1. Teafrog79

    Teafrog79 New commenter

    I am a regular reader
    on these fora even though I hardly post and I have been wondering if any of you
    could advise me.</font>
    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">

    </font>Here it is: (apologies
    if it all seems a bit random)</font>
    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">

    </font>I changed jobs in
    September and left a school I had worked at for 8 years. My department was a lovely
    bunch and some colleagues across the school have become friends. We are still
    in touch. My new colleagues are nice to have a chat with at lunch but nothing
    more so far. </font>
    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">

    </font>It&rsquo;s only been 2
    months but so far 2013 has had its fair share of bad news. My sister lost one
    of her baby twins and my granddad has had ongoing health issues that have now
    left him house-bound. </font>
    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">

    </font>I feel very isolated &ndash;
    physically because all my family live abroad and my classroom is far from the
    rest of my department so I hardly ever see my colleagues from the department-
    and mentally because the issues between my mum and my grand parents have
    spilled onto the grand children and I am the only one who has carried on as
    before as I categorically refuse to take side. However, I feel between a rock
    and a hard place. My mum sounds like she is spitting venom whenever she vents
    about my grand parents and my nan is the same. I know my mum is very upset and
    hurt by the things they have said to her but she doesn&rsquo;t try to convince me to
    &ldquo;join her side&rdquo;. She is just venting but
    now, I am getting to the point where I don&rsquo;t want to hear any of it. I am very
    sad (and so is my mum actually) that my mum and dad live a few hundred yards
    away from my grand parents so could easily help but my nan categorically
    refuses. </font>

    I spent 3 days over
    half-term hibernating like an hermit. I didn&rsquo;t get half of the things I needed
    to do done. Even booking a holiday for the summer seems to have lost its
    appeal. </font>
    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">

    </font>Three and a half years
    ago, I was dumped like a old tissue, the break-up was a shock to me and the
    very little confidence he&rsquo;d given me was shattered when he went on and on and
    on about all the things that made me the worst girlfriend on Earth. I know I
    wasn&rsquo;t perfect but when a year later, he apologised for his behaviour, we
    agreed that it was 50/50. The damage was already done though. I have since
    severed all forms of contact with him since he got engaged to his new
    girlfriend within a few months. I thought we could remain friends -the way we
    were before we dated - but it just proved me wrong. So I lost a friend when I
    already have so very few of them. </font>
    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">

    </font>I feel invisible and
    lonely, I have no self confidence (never have) and my job hardly ever gives me
    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">

    </font>I went online today
    and did a few quizzes on depression, the results from one was SAD and dysthymia
    (chronic mild depression as I understand it). Now I realise that next year, I
    am going to have to do something about SAD. I suspect that it has got worse
    every winter for the last few years. </font>

    Now please refrain from advising me to go to
    the doctor etc. I do not want to take Ads, have time off etc. But I am not sure
    what to do exactly to tackle this constant feeling of sadness (Secret Santa at
    work gave a Bahumbug hat and a book called &ldquo;365 days of happiness&rdquo;). I am not a
    very smiley person, I am not a fun person to be with (especially at the minute)
    and I am not a very chatty person. So any advice you could give me can&rsquo;t
    involve any talking. I find it very difficult to open up and I clam up as soon
    as someone tries to get things out of me. </font>

    p.s. I eat a very
    healthy and balanced diet, I do a bit of exercise (yoga) and I sleep well (not
    enough but well). </font>
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    </font>Thank you for reading
    this extremely long post. </font>
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