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What do you wish you could tell parents about school?

Discussion in 'Primary' started by educationwriter, Nov 2, 2010.

  1. Hi,
    Firstly apologies if it's bad form to post on here about this sort of thing but I'm writing an article about 'school rules for parents'. It's meant to be tongue-in-cheek but informative.
    So for instance, parents should remember not to believe everything they hear about school from their child and bear this in mind before piling in and complaining to the teacher.
    What else would you like parents to know and consider from your perspectives as teachers?
    I'd appreciate any help with this.
    Thanks in anticipation.
  2. Hi,
    Firstly apologies if it's bad form to post on here about this sort of thing but I'm writing an article about 'school rules for parents'. It's meant to be tongue-in-cheek but informative.
    So for instance, parents should remember not to believe everything they hear about school from their child and bear this in mind before piling in and complaining to the teacher.
    What else would you like parents to know and consider from your perspectives as teachers?
    I'd appreciate any help with this.
    Thanks in anticipation.
  3. You pretty much covered mine in your second paragraph - perhaps along with 'don't assume your child's behaviour at school is the same as their behaviour at home. Don't assume your child never tells lies to avoid getting into trouble!
    Your child is entitled to 1/30 of my time?
  4. Ooh that's a good one.
    And yes agree, they have 29 other children to deal with.

  5. tafkam

    tafkam Occasional commenter

    It's not always 'the other boys getting him into trouble'.
  6. ditwee

    ditwee New commenter

    Most teachers are actually parents too.
  7. Yup - I am. That's why words fail me sometimes when dealing with many parents at my school. The difference is, I (like all decent parents) know my kids can be absolute little gits at times.
  8. Remember that homework that I have set is for your child to do, it is not yours! And yes I have explained exactly what they need to do with it - perhaps they should have listened!
  9. This always bemuses me. I teach Y1 and we introduce small pieces of homework that is not monitored strictly, but if they do it they get a few stickers. I always get a few back where the parent has written it all and there isn't a single word written by the child (often not even their name). Surely they realise that if the child doesn't pick up a pen his/herself they aren't going to learn to write?
  10. These are really helpful ideas thank you.
    Fair point that many teachers are parents too so it's not wholly an 'us and them' situation.
    I suspect my son's Y1 teacher would love to say to all of us at the moment 'stop stressing about reading schemes and how often we read, I'm doing my best' or the like!
    Actually that brings me to another point for this - to not obsess too much over what reading level your child is on and which children are on which table/ in which ability group?
  11. Agree with all of the above!! Would like to add.......
    It's pretty busy during the school day so Iam afraid that I cannot keep track of every sweatshirt/cardigan/piece of PE kit in my class. We all have dedicated members of the lost jumper brigade who cannot understand why I don't know where little Wayne has left his belongings or why I can't recognise little Wendy's navy cardi ( her name's not in it but it's from Marks')
    we want the same things they do for their child, at times we may have to tell them things they don't want to hear, but ultimately it's because we care about their child's happiness and progress.
    lots of us are parents too, all of us are human!!!!!
  12. Name your child's clothing!
    Come and talk to me... don't believe everything you hear in the playground.
    I am not holding your child back by choosing "easy" books for them, that is the correct level for your child!
    Yes, they need a PE kit.
  13. For God's sake, support us in what we are trying to achieve with your children.
    Don't stop listening to them read at home, just because they are capable of decoding and reading to a reasonable level (and sometime before they are at a reasonable level).
    Practice the times tables with your child as they will rarely get the 1:1 opportunity to do that in a class of 30.
    Make your child go to bed at a reasonable time...no...not just in their room out of your way watching TV/playing on the computer, but asleep.
    Be organised to help them be organised.
    Don't automatically jump to their defence if your little darling gets into trouble. Trust us to have found out what really happened and to have dealt with it appropriately.
    Just a little rant there.....and breathe!
  14. Your child does not have ADHD / Lactose intolerance / wheat allergy / Defiance Disorder / aspergers etc. he is a naughty little oik made worse by you having an excuse for every aspect of his bad behaviour.
    Taking your child for Reiki / giving them a crystal / getting them on a special diet / giving them fish oils etc. does NOT mean you 'have tried everything' and subsequently have 'no idea' why he's such a little oik.
    If you make a parents evening appointment and don't show up it really pees me off.
    If you don't even bother to make an appointment; that's worse and I generally judge you as a bad parent for it.
    Saying 'I was never any good at maths either' gives your child an 'excuse' not to bother - please don't say it in front of them.
    Helping them with their homework by showing them 'your' method for division is NOT helping them.
    They DO have the letter, it's scrumpled up at the bottom of their bag / book bag.
    Please read with them - you have children which means you have to feed them, clothe them and HEAR THEM READ!
    Your new boyfriend is NOT more important than your child.
    Please ask me at parents evening (or whenever) how your child compares to national expectations for their year group - I don't want it to come as a great shock to you when you find out they're a level 3 in year 6.
    Good writing does not mean good handwriting.
    Good reading does not mean saying the words on the page.
    Good teaching does not mean 'old school' yelling at children and being 'strict.'
    I would be so much happier if you read with your child than bought me a 'best teacher' mug at the end of they year - I have loads of them, I don't drink tea - you have one child and unless you read with it, it may end up doing nothing but packing those mugs for the rest of its working life.
    Label EVERYTHING that belongs to your child that you'd like back at the end of the day.
    Buying him/her a pencil at Christmas does not constitute supplying enough for them to write with for the year - I reckon one a week ought to do it.
    Please say thank you when I've taken your child on a school trip / residential - it takes years off my life sweating that one of them may have a horrible accident and I'll end up on the front page of the Daily Mail and I spend the day/weekend/week looking after your child as though it were my own - when you collect them from the coach, grumble that we're late and stomp off without a word it makes me want to cry / hit you.

    If your child comes home saying they've been told off, please ask them what they did rather than respond immediately with 'I'm coming down that school, no-one tells off my innocent child!'
    If your child says 'Johnny did it, not me,' at least entertain the idea that they're lying to get out of trouble - children do this.
    Offer to help in school if you can - read with us, join in with art lessons, help in the garden etc. Become part of our school!
    If your child is struggling in a subject and you want to help (great!) please ask the teacher what resource from WHSmith you could buy rather than expect us to scurry round photocopying things for you and then expect us to mark them as well.
    If you're going to buy a workbook for your child who is struggling - don't get them the one that says their age on the front, they will struggle with it.
    When I introduce myself by my first name, please call me by it - I hate being called Miss Beestoni, I'm not YOUR teacher.
    If you would like to buy me a present, please buy booze. I need it and appreciate it. This is not true of teddies, mugs or fridge magnets. However, I'd still rather you read with your child.
    If you spot a spelling mistake / typo in homework don't leap around excitedly and run straight to the headteacher - maybe let me know first, or, even better, accept that we all make mistakes and if I corrected every not you sent in to school I'd need extra PPA time.
    If you've got a problem, come and see me first, going straight to the head is just rude. Next time I have a problem with little Johnny and your parenting of him I'll ring your boss and see how you like it.
    Finally, I'm in teaching because I love children, despite my grumblings here (which I'd never really say to parents). I want to help children and I want them to be happy in school. If this is your first assumption well get on heaps better.
  15. Great post Beestoni!
  16. Amen to that!!!!!!!!!!! lol[​IMG]
  17. TreesK

    TreesK New commenter

    Top !
    Hope you're going to credit Beestoni in your article, educationwriter.
  18. angiebabe

    angiebabe New commenter

    Fabulous post by Beestoni - I identified with every single paragraph!
    Just one more thing to add - we are their ally not their enemy. As much as we wont take it out on your child if you are nasty/argumentative/agressive/disinterested etc it would be so much better if we felt we and the child had your full support.
  19. Thanks everyone and especially Beestoni for the fantastically mammoth post.
    I'm very happy to credit (and anyone else on here) at the end of the piece so please do let me know if you'd like that. Obviously you might prefer to remain anonymous.
    If you'd rather not reveal your name on here, you can email me (liat@liathughesjoshi.co.uk).
    Thanks once again for all this - it's really useful and quite amusing too!
    Would you, out of interest, want to see a similar article but the other way round? I.e. what parents would like to tell teachers (obviously, again, recognising that many teachers are parents too).

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