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What do I do now?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by purplehills, Sep 29, 2014.

  1. Hi all not sure I'm in correct forum but here goes.

    TA and husband has a terminal cancer prognosis. Bad news today, progression of disease. Not sure where we are going now with limited treatment options.

    Current Head arrived a couple of years ago, prior to that previous Head and Deputy were extremely supportive and compassionate about situation and time off to accompany him to appointments/treatments were granted with a "don't worry - just do what you have to do and put your husband first." I never took advantage of this and always paid back the time when I could.

    Now couldn't be more different - the whole feel of the school has changed over the last couple of years and I no longer feel supported. We are constantly reminded about how much it will cost the school if any of us are off work (both personal sickness or looking after dependants such as sick children.) If I am not there even for a couple of hours, a supply TA is brought in and therefore it is a day's unpaid leave. I fully appreciate the school is not run for my convenience but I guess I am beginning to question now if my working life is going to be made difficult, maybe it is time to leave?

    Perhaps the fact that earlier in the year I had to step down from a senior position because of my own health and overwhelming workload outside of school has not helped as since then I have detected a distinct frostiness in the air. [​IMG]

    Any advice gratefully received. Thanks!

  2. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    So very sorry you and your husband are going through this. I think I would go and chat to the Head and explain the situation. Is there a possibility that you could go part-time?

    Your family comes first and you need to be with your husband as much as possible.

    Best wishes.
  3. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. Are you in a union? Cancer is a protected characteristic under the DDA and I believe it also covers spouses. Therefore you can not be treated unfavourably and reasonable adjustments have to be made. What do you mean that time of sick leads to unpaid leave? You are entitled to sick pay. Most LAs also allow a certain number of paid days for family issues.

    I covered for a teacher whose OH had a terminal prognosis and her dr signed her off with stress for the whole year. Is it worth you going off sick. I'm not sure I could continue working in this situations. I know others though that worked as an escape from the situation. Take care x
  4. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Purplehills, I'm also very sorry to hear your sad news and, like mary, am puzzled by the unpaid leave thing. She gives good advice.

    Right now, your husband and you come first. You shouldn't have to be worrying about money on top of everything else. What's your union rep like?
  5. Thank you all for your kind words and advice.
  6. san38

    san38 New commenter

    Good luck, I certainly hope you get something sorted. I understand what you mean about unpaid time off. When I took my mum in for her cancer treatments it had to be taken as unpaid leave. Husband may hopefully be a different story.

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