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What can I do to stop being snappy?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by emilyisobel, Apr 5, 2013.

  1. I'm not coping very well today. About 3.5 weeks ago I had a tentative diagnosis of parkinsonism which was a shock as I'm 43. I'm in limbo land at the moment waiting for an appointment for a radioactive brainscan and have to wait until June to get the diagnosis either confirmed or start looking for something else to explain the symptoms, which are progressing fairly rapidly. Work have been a nightmare over the past year and a bit and I have had a huge battle to continue working. As much as I love my family, the kids are doing my head in - as soon as holidays begin I seem to get used as an unofficial child-minder with the kids' friends just dropping on us. I have a very small house and kids make a noise - they can't help it. However over the last couple of days I have been finding it very difficult to deal with and I am getting snappy, which makes me dislike myself. The kids have just gone to the park which is a relief but I just feel like I'm living on a knife-edge at the moment and I don't know what to do - I would usually go for a walk or to the gym but my mobility is so bad at the moment that I can't - although I can type, my right arm isn't much use for anything else so it rules out stuff like knitting. I'm also in a lot of pain. What do I do to keep sane?
  2. MrsArmitage

    MrsArmitage Occasional commenter

    I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Do the parents of any of your kids' mates know about what is happening? They might be able to take the whole gang off your hands for a few days, or at least not let their kids gatecrash your home. Could you declare a comfy room off limits for a few days and just slob out with films, music etc? I wish I could offer something more useful, but I didn't want to read and run. X
  3. oliverferret

    oliverferret New commenter

    So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I don't know anything about parkinsonian but I imagine the waiting and not knowing for sure must be horrendous especially if your mobility problems won't allow you to keep yourself occupied

    I'm not sure how old your children, but have you tried being straight and talking things through with them. I find that my teenagers live in their own little bubble as far as I am concerned - but if I say I am feeling snappy because I'm worried about ...." or "your friends can't come in because..." they can be surprisingly considerate and thoughtful. Your children may be younger though.
  4. My kids are pre-teen. The other kids' parents just go out and leave them - they aren't at home for them to go back there. I think on the whole that I'm not coping with me and the unknown at the moment - I don't know what the long term health situation is going to be or the job situation and I am really worried about it. I just don't like taking it out on the kids. It is quiet here at the moment as they've gone out - I just feel like I'm stuck. Just in a whiny mood today I guess.
  5. oliverferret

    oliverferret New commenter


    Difficult then but you need to put yourself and your children first - can you limit either the number of children or the amount of time they spend in the house?

    You don't come across as whiny - I'd be worried sick if I was having to cope with all the things you have going on at the moment? Do you have a supportive partner?
  6. Difficult to limit it when the parents have gone out. I'm not really up to having any sort of confrontation - I'm just worn out at the moment. Actually after whinging they've all gone out - the weather is good today and there is a park opposite us - it's just that when they are in the house there is only one room for all of us unless I go up to my bedroom. My partner is supportive but is out at work - he's just got some paying work as the holidays started, which is great (his income is very sporadic which is why I'm so worried about my job) but means that I'm stuck. I don't know whether the snappiness is psychological or due to lack of dopamine.
  7. Hi
    You're having a hard time. Kids make you snappy enough anyway without everything extra going on in your life. It can be so hard having lots of children around demanding things and getting in the way. I don't know what to suggest about your snappiness. Maybe it's just a case of letting things go sometimes. Who knows.
    Will PM you about next week

  8. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    ((((EI)))) sorry to hear about this. I don't have any experience of Parkinsons but I know that uncertainty makes me feel snappy, with your difficult situation at work on top of that you have had a lot to deal with. Don't be too hard on yourself x
  9. Thanks everyone.

    Cheers Robyn - looking forward to seeing you.

    Saffy - I think it is the uncertainty. I'm scared about the scan itself - or at least the being injected with radioactive iodine as I am quite an allergic person and they have refused to use iodine as a contrast for a CT scan previously because of that. I just wish that everything would sort out one way or another rather than hanging over me all the time. At least then I would be able to properly make some decisions.
  10. I have sent you a PM
  11. sorry to be no hlp whr yr diagnosis is concrnd but know tht snappy bad temper is how clinical depression manifests itself in me (and mine). I think as long as ppl know, you can knock it off yr worry list.
  12. Can't be much help just wanted to send you a virtual hug.
  13. Hmmmm I posted that immediately after texting someone and did not change the style! Sorry!
    Can you not sit your partner and children down and explain that because you have so much on your mind you are not the paragon of sweetness and light you usually are? I know what you mean about having other people's kids round all the time and you'd be perfectly justified in simply telling your children that it isn't convenient at the moment. Mine were 13 and 11 when I suffered from depression during the summer holiday and they just told their friends their Mum was ill so they couldn't come round.
    You have an awful lot to cope with plus the uncertainty, waiting and lack of clear forward planning. Snappy is, I'm sure, a fairly standard reaction. I daresay the doctor could prescribe something to calm you down but whether it's possible with the other treatment lined up I wouldn't know. I do hope you feel better soon.
  14. Thank you :0)

    Not actually sure that anyone would describe me as sweetness and light at the best of times (I think my husband's first impression of me was sharp and sarky but I think I've mellowed a bit over the years). Now the weather is getting better there is the park - they are there again now and the house is much calmer. The muscle relaxant that I take does have a sedative effect, which is good as I can't manage to tolerate ADs of any sort (Not good with many tablets - I seem to have a funny immune system). I tired of having to constantly battle at the moment - the NHS, work etc - it is so draining and I'm not good at uncertainty - when I know what is happening for certain then I'm sure things will improve a bit, especially if we start to get some decent weather.
  15. I am so sorry.......

    Is there likeminded people who are going through something similar and can relate to you?

  16. I have been talking to someone by email who is in a similar situation (age, profession, symptoms). It is the limbo situation that I'm finding difficult - it is adding so much stress. It is also frustrating to go from having been very active to being almost housebound. I need exercise to burn off adrenaline.

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