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Were your parents bums as clean as yours when all they could get to wipe them with was Izal??

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Duke of York, May 26, 2019.

  1. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    With government property printed on each sheet.
    Mrsmumbles likes this.
  2. sparkleghirl

    sparkleghirl Star commenter

    Newspaper and vinegar
    Mrsmumbles likes this.
  3. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    border_walker likes this.
  4. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    We had Izal at school.
    border_walker likes this.
  5. sparkleghirl

    sparkleghirl Star commenter

    Dang. Read windows again.
    ilovesooty likes this.
  6. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    As my dad used to say when telling us off for using too many sheets: you only need three sheets:
    One up, one down, one shiner.

    But he probably got that from being in the army.
    nomad and les25paul like this.
  7. smoothnewt

    smoothnewt Star commenter

    Izal? You was lucky. We had old newspaper in the outside loo with the remains of dead pigeons for company.
    knitone and Mrsmumbles like this.
  8. les25paul

    les25paul Star commenter

    The Army aren't called " Pongos " for nothing. :)
  9. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I deliberately left the punctuation out of the thread title by the way, just to see if there's a member of the grammar police who fancies a black eye.
    lardylady and (deleted member) like this.
  10. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    Making that up, surely?!! Urgh!
  11. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    I’ve never heard of Izal, what is it?
  12. sparkleghirl

    sparkleghirl Star commenter

    I thought it was windows ok?
    Duke of York likes this.
  13. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    I always assumed the purpose of Izal was to put you off using those particular facilities and encourage you to waste your own time when you got home. I never understood the "medicated" label either.
  14. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I expect we'll see a return to people doing that when the price those fecal regognition cameras that have been in the news recently comes down.
  15. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Dear God, woman!
  16. dumpty

    dumpty Star commenter

    Sandpaper doused in bleach.

    Rumour has it once the Germans knew our soldiers were strong enough to wipe their backsides on it, the war was over.
  17. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Izal spelt backwards is almost 'Nazi' - a suspicious coincidence.

    You can still buy it - as I type I'm looking at a roll I bought recently as a joke, and no, I'm not in the bog.
  18. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Government Departments used to print 'Government Property' on each sheet. DoE ancient monuments had it in their bogs until at least the early 1980s.
  19. captain scarlet

    captain scarlet Established commenter

    When you were a kid. It made great tracing paper.
  20. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    It's the only stuff suitable for playing the comb and paper on the lav as well, so it isn't all grief. It's a waste of time trying to do that with what's left of the Andrex after the puppy has run off with most of the roll.

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