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Well, well, well...

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by gargs, Aug 2, 2016.

  1. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    Are you feeling any better?
  2. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    We might get a rain day this week. Predictions for the peak in the wee hours of Wednesday would give the highest level recorded.

    Work have said school will be open but I might not be able to get there!

    Sympathies to your friend CC. I recommend exercise, preferably out doors but perhaps not in this weather.
  3. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    It is so difficult to advise, and what works for one person will not help another at all. Ditto with ADs and why people need to investigate what does work.

    Yes this is pretty much all one can do. Don't encourage them to 'open up' if they're not ready to, but just make them aware you're available when they are. Invite them to do things / Meet up and don't be put off inviting them at a later stage, if initially they say No.

    Exercise is well-known for helping getting those dopamine levels up, yet at certain stages sufferers may not even be able to get out of bed / the house.
  4. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter


    Left Zumba early with very sore back. Am currently languishing on the sofa with a heat pad.

    Went out for a friend’s birthday lunch and I don’t think the chairs helped. I don’t think the weather does either.

    Sometimes you have to try several different anti depressant medications before you find one that works for you. If you can get to a point where something works, at least to a certain extent, then you can start doing some self help things, like exercise and counselling, if it’s available p.

    I speak from experience.
  5. BW12345

    BW12345 Star commenter

    A line I'd adopt, to see how things go: Just be there, a white raven dropping into the garden. Don't mention her condition, but if there's something or other, like say, flowers, you can ask her advice on, try that. Say you're going to a garden centre and you're hopeless, could really do with someone saying what a good plant is... She may well see straight through it but see the sense in going with you anyway.
    Don't push at all. If she says no "that's fine", not a big deal. If she'll talk a little about (say) flowers, call her in a few days - say you've found a (I dunno) toad lily you like because it has an amazing flower, did she ever try them?
    She'll probably say no. So send her a picture or take her one
    and leave it.

    Then think of something else for next time! Keep a constant level profile though, don't raise it.
    Else, some (eg I) would start thinking "this person is becoming a pushy pita trying to be a do-gooder". Asking for her advice is a useful tack.
    Why do I think that -? Just my perspective on it, from decades of AD's, a long spell in a Priory and countless days of being in a chair or bed without moving, not having any feelings about anything or anyone. Didn't answer the door or phone or open any mail, or have TV or radio on. Wouldn't have been receptive to anything, at that point, just vaguely aware if someone was there. Had a partner, which was(just) enough or I'd not be here. Maybe your friend isn't quite that remote.
    It became easier for me when the penny dropped that I don't fit the world very well, everyone else lives in (a) different one(s), but never mind. And, that the world is full of stupidity and stupid a-hole people, but never mind. Try not to take it too seriously. But a few never find an attitude they want to live with; "help" just prolongs the agony. That's OK too.

    Two tacks Samaritains use - remember they often don't have long to speak. They work up quickly to these!
    1) "it's awful, yes. People do get better though". and by implication "What's so special about you that you won't?". That was used on me and yes, it helped.
    2) if someone says they want to die or are going to kill themselves and it sounds like they think it's important (Which they wouldn't if they were really far gone in deep depression), "How long do you want to be dead for?". It sounds mad, it's sort of dark humour, but it can hit home to make someone think what they really want.

    Plants just "are", they don't judge. I remember watching from my chair in the corner, a small weed growing in the edge of a pot. After a few weeks it started to die, and I watered it. Put a tear in my partner's eye. Small beginnings.

    A toad lily: a bonkers flower.
  6. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    Thats a really moving and helpful post. Thank you @BW12345
  7. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    @BW12345 I'm sorry you've been in such a dark place. Thank you for sharing your experience and trying to help.
  8. Jesmond12

    Jesmond12 Star commenter

    Sounds a lovely day, especially the visit to the beach.

    Very careless of you. What was wrong with your old one?

    I bet you can’t. :)

    One more day of training for me. More role play dealing with calls made by team leaders. Then on Wednesday we are live but we will have a mentor sitting next to us providing a high level of support.

    I have just been watching Traffic Cops on Channel 5. There was a recording of the police chasing a drug dealer near to where we live. Literally 0.25m away. I often think that these people live in a parallel world to us, one that we have no knowledge of.
  9. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter

    Wot sparkles and Corvus said, BW.
  10. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Hmm, not sure how to react to that. o_O Whether to feel privileged we merit being imor disappointed you no longer wish to convers. However sometimes a break is good
  11. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Exactly this.
  12. BW12345

    BW12345 Star commenter

    Thanks all.
    It's been a while since I went through it in my head. Seems like a parallel world, now. It's so different for everyone, my tale could be irrelevant for your friend CC. But I had walked away, too. I was also "doing well", but got off the cr@ppy plastic merry-go-round, because it was wrong. I didn't see myself as ill so what would "getting better" be?
    I never found an answer better than, "It doesn't matter, just somewhere OK".
    Perhaps your friend feels something similar. She did the right thing for her, Bravo! Time to be selfish. It's OK.
  13. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    not because I don't wish to converse, but because I wish to too much! Lent is about giving p something you really like, for self discipline, and to do something more productive with the resources , time or money, for a short while.
  14. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    you could be right! and if I am still isolated at home alone with this bug, I won't even try to
  15. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    I hope you are sleeping now CC.

    Our little town is flooding again. Peak expected tomorrow. Poor people living near the river :(. I am expecting chaos tomorrow morning on the roads.
  16. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter


    I feel so sorry for all those affected by flooding. Stay safe, bombay.
  17. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Poor people, who face potentially being flooded again. :(
    Hope the roads are OK for travel for you. Stay safe.
  18. guinnesspuss

    guinnesspuss Star commenter

    Good morning.

    Some excellent advice. I hope it will be useful for your friend, CC. It's a lonely place.

    A scattering of snow here. Sympathies for those bearing the brunt of the weather.:( (Especially those with snow days;) )
    Take care, BS.
  19. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    Hope all poorly folk are feeling better.
  20. BW12345

    BW12345 Star commenter

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