1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Weight - really getting me down :-(

Discussion in 'Personal' started by dogcat, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    I am getting more and more caught up in thoughts about my weight and more and more fed up with it.
    I am not overweight, 5'6 and around 9.5 stone, size 8-10. I know that there will be people on here who will not be happy with me complaining about this, can they please just not post.
    Years ago I was alot bigger,I then got back down to 9st 10, then up again to nearly 11.
    In the past two years I have gone from 10st 5 to 9 stone and then back up to around what I am now.
    I have a pact with friends to lose a bit for our holiday, and my goal is half a stone. I am just not losing any! I have upped my exercise (in the past 4 days I have done 1.5hrs cycling, 3 x 1hr gym classes and a big 45 min swim) and it makes no difference. If anything I get heavier.
    I am on food focus and my average calorie intake this week is above my target to lose 1.5lbs a week but should have been enough to lose 1lb. My main issue is food, I really struggle to maintain a healthy diet because I love bad food eg takeaway.
    The problem is because I am slim I cannot join a slimming club to deal with my food obsession and massive appetite, as they consider me to be fine. The longest I have ever managed without a big takeout is 3 weeks, and that was a struggle.
    I have days where I look in the mirror and think I look ok and then days where I just feel massive and heavy.
    All of this is compunded by living in a house where my boyfriend's mum and sister (50 and 21) have perfect tiny bodies. There are both 5ft 2 and size 6, I look and feel like an amazon women next to them because I am 4 inches taller and alot wider! They are both always tanned and groomed with expensive products from harvey nicks and neither has a mark on them, whereas I have have horrific stretch marks up and down my legs and bum from my weight gains and losses.
    Apologies for the long message, and I am fully aware that for people with health issues related to their weight I sound ridiculous but I am worrying because it takes up so much of my thoughts in a day, and get I seem to be able to do nothing about my actual eating habits.
     
  2. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    I am getting more and more caught up in thoughts about my weight and more and more fed up with it.
    I am not overweight, 5'6 and around 9.5 stone, size 8-10. I know that there will be people on here who will not be happy with me complaining about this, can they please just not post.
    Years ago I was alot bigger,I then got back down to 9st 10, then up again to nearly 11.
    In the past two years I have gone from 10st 5 to 9 stone and then back up to around what I am now.
    I have a pact with friends to lose a bit for our holiday, and my goal is half a stone. I am just not losing any! I have upped my exercise (in the past 4 days I have done 1.5hrs cycling, 3 x 1hr gym classes and a big 45 min swim) and it makes no difference. If anything I get heavier.
    I am on food focus and my average calorie intake this week is above my target to lose 1.5lbs a week but should have been enough to lose 1lb. My main issue is food, I really struggle to maintain a healthy diet because I love bad food eg takeaway.
    The problem is because I am slim I cannot join a slimming club to deal with my food obsession and massive appetite, as they consider me to be fine. The longest I have ever managed without a big takeout is 3 weeks, and that was a struggle.
    I have days where I look in the mirror and think I look ok and then days where I just feel massive and heavy.
    All of this is compunded by living in a house where my boyfriend's mum and sister (50 and 21) have perfect tiny bodies. There are both 5ft 2 and size 6, I look and feel like an amazon women next to them because I am 4 inches taller and alot wider! They are both always tanned and groomed with expensive products from harvey nicks and neither has a mark on them, whereas I have have horrific stretch marks up and down my legs and bum from my weight gains and losses.
    Apologies for the long message, and I am fully aware that for people with health issues related to their weight I sound ridiculous but I am worrying because it takes up so much of my thoughts in a day, and get I seem to be able to do nothing about my actual eating habits.
     
  3. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    I guess it's down to your priorities - the take away or lose weight.

    It's a choice really - you don't sound commited to making changes for the rest of your life.
     
  4. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    I am commited to the exercise, I am pretty fit. Swim minimum of 3 times a week, trying to fit in a cycle to work and back once a week and then the odd class.
    But you are right in the food front, I just cannot seem to manage eating what it is considered the right amount, and certainly can't stick to trying to be good for 6 weeks before 1st holiday. It is not as simple as it seems though, I just cannot resist food when offered. I am loads better than I used to be, I used to have 4 takeaways a week plus my evening meal usually as well. However I walked everywhere then and so I still lost weight. At my lightest weight I was still eating very badly, I think that is where the psychological barrier comes from.
     
  5. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Have you considered eating them?

     
  6. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Thanks lurkmuch, but they're all toned/bone so wouldn't be the nice fatty meal I enjoy!
     
  7. I have a friend like this - "I can't lose any weight" and she is right.
    It's because she's slim [​IMG] She's a healthy weight and if she tried to lose any, she'd have to restrict herself to such an extent she'd be really ill.
    You are a perfectly normal and healthy size [​IMG] just order a takeaway and enjoy it as part of a healthy lifestyle is my advice.
     
  8. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Thankyou Katherinelilly, I know I am notbig, and I look fine in most of my clothes. But I just hate my legs, they are the biggest bit of me. I like my top half, and don't want to really lose anymore from there as I would hate to lose any more of my chest than I already have. My legs however are quite short for my height and quite chunky at the tops.
    Having my bf's sister wander around in her bright white underwear with her tanned toned perfect body does not help at all!
     
  9. dogcat I do not mean to be rude in any way but it seems like the weight may not be the issue here since you are clearly slim and healthy physically.
     
  10. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Hi Eggnchips, I know the main issue is in my head. My figure is by no means perfect though and the stretchmarks are causing me a big worry because of my holiday, I cannot cover my legs there like I do here. I have never seen anybody my size with such horrific stretch marks, and I have seen people quite a bit bigger than me with lovely figures and no marks either.
    Even if I can get my head around the fact that I seem incapable of eating normally and/or shifting anymore weight again there is nothing I can do to hide my strechmarks or pretend they are not that bad.
    I would love to be one of those people who never worries about what they look like. ironicaly when I was at my biggest despite looking very unhealthy and getting asked if I was pregnant at various points by my mum I think I worried less than I do now!
     
  11. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Dump him then. My evil cousin had the same issues with her previous chap. His sisters were absolutely stunning. He had to go.
    It did seem a bit unfair.
     
  12. DC what about seeing a therapist to help you sort out your thoughts? You sound like you need to learn to accept what you are.
    I understand what you mean about being bigger and not caring how you looked. When I was thinner (oh so long ago) I was my most miserable and obsessed over my weight/shape/food/exercise and it wasn't pretty. Now I am desperate to shift the lard (just don't ask how many stones) but I would say I more accepting of what I look like.
    The problem is DC it doesn't matter what others say to you it's how you feel about yourself which is the issue.
    BTW I would use the in-laws as tooth picks after your take away! [​IMG]
     
  13. So you're not perfect. So you don't look exactly the way you've been brainwashed into thinking is the best and only way to look. Losing a stone will not affect your stretchmarks, the length of your legs, the relative distance between chest-waist, waist-thighs and thigh-knee, not without major bone surgery anyway. And even if it did, you'd find, like all the other dysmorphics do, something else to dislike about your body. You're fit and a healthy weight. If you're unhappy and dissatisfied, not looking like a front-cover magazine model is a handy place to put the blame, but it's almost certainly not the correct one.
    I was 8st 2lb when I got pregnant aT 24. I got stretchmarks on my thighs and have had them ever since. There is nothing, nothing, you can do about them. You can't have the stretchmarked skin cut away and the rest pulled over. You can't have them filled from underneath with fat, collagen or anything else. You can spend the rest of your life covering them up or you can accept that you are not physically perfect and that some women are just luckier than you, and get on with your life.
    Wear your bikini and when you get up and move round, pop a skirt or sarong over the top.


     
  14. Are you replacing body fat with muscle tone...muscle is heavier than fat ? This could be why you are gaining weight.
     
  15. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I agree with the poster who suggested therapy or counselling of some sort. Hypnotherapy ,maybe, for low self esteem. I don't think your weight is the real issue. Any chance of moving into your own place away from the twiglet family?
     
  16. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Well I did think that, but I imagine you have to do a fair bit for it to make a difference. My muscles today in my legs are really tight and painful, and feel heavy, according to the scales I have put 2lbs on since yesterday, so wondering if that is due to my mucles being heavier because they have constricted?!
    Some days I do think that I would rather be 9.5 stone and toned and fit than 9 stone and still eating really badly like before. But other days I just want to look like my bf's sis in terms of body! I do realise that she puts a lot of effort into it though, and hardly ever eats and I certainly don't envy her that.

     
  17. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    I have considered moving out especially as the sis is moving back home full time now she has finished uni. Problem is renting will cost me too much to be able to continue saving for house deposit. I am hoping to be able to buy somewhere in next 12months and living here is the only way to manage that because they will onyl take next to nothing from me.
    I also thought that if I do that not only will it cost me a fortune, it also doesn't address my issues with it all. I need to find some way of just accepting that they are both naturally small and work very hard to look how they do. Plus are happy to spend a lot of money on hair, make up, fake tan etc, whereas I am just not prepared to do all that when I am trying to save. Plus I have never been a mega glampuss anyway!
     

  18. OK dogcat, so you KNOW you are not overweight.
    So the real problem is WORRYING...because you compare yourself to others and find yourself wanting?
    Dogcat...I'd say relax. We can only be who we are. Most of us have greedy little minds which have us devour takeaways, wine, cake-type goodies and if we can, we put a check on it, for the sake of healthy eating/not becoming huge. You food problems aren't all that unusual.
    What is unusual, I'd say, is your obsession that you don't match up. Comparisons are odious.
    We all have different body shapes and sizes and differing metabolisms too.You sound like you might be on the way to a full-blown eating disorder or body dysmorphia.
    THAT should worry you.

     
  19. Hey, I don't look like half the people I admire. I'll never in a million years be their shape but...I accept it.
    Accept who you are, how you are made. Life really is too short to be worrying about things that aren't really problems at all. You exercise and know which foods are bad for you. That's a good way to be, unless of course dieting has become an obsession.
    Welcome to our world...the world of most women who also are 'failures' ( yeah right) because they don't look like...I dunno, any toned, slim, vision of groomed female perfection. Those people are rare...and envy can only make the problem worse.
    If you want to spend your life chasing that stupid dream it's up to you.....
    You could choose to be just who you are, imperfections and all? Once you accept yourself, just as you are, so many things fall into place.

     
  20. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Don't worry I will never have an eating disorder, I could never give up food find a diet hard enough! And although I can binge from time to time, never have the energy to exercise obsessively or the desire to throw it back up.
    I think it is just hard as until I was about 20 I had always eaten a lot but been very slim. I just struggle with the fact that if I want to look different I have to stop eating so much.
    However I do knnow that even if I got to 9 stone I would still feel horrid, I don't remeber feeling perfect the onyl and only time I did reach it. I also couldn't maintain it, which makes me realise that I should be that size.
    Just when I hear the sis complaining that she is 8 stone I feel like a whale!
    Going for a hair cut this afternoon and then to buy my mum and sister's birthday gifts so hoping that will cheer me up. Also gonna have a hot bath, as after all the exercise my legs have seized up!!!
     

Share This Page